Aftercare-advice for a newbie. (18)

I think a lot of emphasis is put on aftercare and that's fantastic but with that, I think people might treat it as more as a potential minefield than it needs to be as a result.

My ultimate answer is go with your instinct: behave how you would with any other person in distress, get them in a comfortable position and spend time being as physically close (probably reasonably so) with them as you feel is needed. Offer them drink, maybe food and let them do the talking (if any), only asking questions if you feel it's necessary.

The above seems obvious to me in how that's what I'd instinctively do with anyone in a position of stress or vulnerability outside of bdsm.

As for getting them into a state where you can't be with the submissive a good couple of hours post scene, my question would be WHY?

With regards to the subdrop happening a good while post scene when you've left each others company, again, tis an instinct thing, give them a phone and talk to them as you would with any other friend in a position of stress/vulnerability

Tis all about the instinct maaaannnnn!!!

It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice xx

My sub is male.

Does that affect if they get it or not?

And will the care be the same?

Shouldn't make too much difference. Although he may prefer his bath with no bubbles and a beer instead of the wine

In order to know virtue, we must first aquaint ourselves with vice - Marquis De Sade

lol x

I will be there as long after as I can, this is just for IF it happens when we have parted company.

Finding one to do up over that lovely chest is the thing.Do you like them after being worn still warm or fresh and clean?

A lovely soft old t-shirt or vest that's been worn and wraps me in your scent is what I like. It's stretchy unlike a button-down shirt so can easily accommodate my shape.

I'll do anything for a lollipop...

I had been practising BDSM for at least a decade when I first started to read about sub-drop and after-care. I decided to ask my boy whether he experienced 'sub-drop' and whether he would like any sort of special after-care. He looked at me blankly. In 28 years of submitting to dominant women he has yet to experience sub-drop or want any kind of after-care. In fact, it has the opposite effect on him: he finds it energising and refreshing and invigorating.

Not everyone suffers from sub-drop. Not everyone needs after-care.

You are right to want to be prepared for eventualities, but sometimes I wonder if all this talk about sub-drop is producing something of a self-fulfilling prophecy?

I don't doubt that it does exist for some people.