My husband and i (27)

My object all sublime...

just to give you all an update and to answer some questions:

I went to the police on Sunday, he was consequently arrested, questioned and released without charge - he denied hitting me so the CPS decided not enough evidence to charge him! I am now in a refuge and waiting for a temporary house until I can get him out of the house. The police are being very supportive and are assisting me in getting me out of the refuge into temporary housing.

My kids are still at home and are perfectly safe there - I want them to remain there with as little disruption as possible.

I do have a psychological therapist that I see regularly for my depression.

I have never been scared of him - have taken years of emotional and verbal abuse but physical is a whole different ball game.

Thank you all for your fantastic words of support and I know this is totally non-BDSM but you guys are always full of wise words and advice.

Thank you xxx

With love and hugs, "Auntie".

With love and hugs, "Auntie".

This is so different from what your experience would be in the US. Here, you could go to a local district court and ask for an emergency protection order. Your statement that he hit you - or even that you are afraid he'll harm you - would be enough for them to grant you a protection order that doesn't allow him to come near you.

He would be removed from the home (although still required to pay for his share of the expenses) and you would be able to return to it. He would not be allowed on your property, in your home or near you or your children if you included them in the protection order.

Within a few days, there would be a hearing where he could contest the order, however, your testimony that he hit you and you feared a repeat would be considered evidence. It's nearly impossible for men to defend against that sort of testimony in a protection hearing. It would be almost inevitable that you'd be granted protection by the court for at least a year. And he would have to pay to have police supervised visits with the children - again - if they were included in the protection order.

American protections against spousal abuse are usually quite aggressive.

The good news is, you're okay and getting help. I wish you well.

love the brave but avoid cowards, knowing the gratitude of cowards is small ~Praxilla of Sicyon

You have to do what is right for you and your children. I am glad you found the courage to leave, im sure it was difficult but very brave. its is the first big step and probably the hardest. I know you have left your chldren there..as they are settled.. but they also need you.. and need to know you have their best interests at heart.. and i hope you an be re-united with them soon.

I know the circumstances that you think your husband might cause problems for you .. but please be assured that it will have no bearing on your ability to be a good mother... and the social services and child welfare people will totally support you and your right to be with your children.... if your husband did cause problems.. they may even suggest supervised access at a contact centre...to help you through to initial break up..

im sure that your depression will improve with time..especially now you are starting to take control of your life.. it is an empowering feeling... and although i am no physchologist.... your feeling of being mentally trapped is probably symbolic of your marriage, and with support and help im sure your depression will improve..

if you need to talk feel free to get in touch.. and perhaps we can meet up and have that coffee sometime soon.

hugs Ts1..xx