7 Feb 10, 3:34 PM
NickiB
UK(BS), 2 yrs
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subette wrote:
I came into this whole thing with a 'doomat' mentality but have learnt (with the help of a Dom) that my submissivemess is the most powerful thing I have. |
Surely, submission is a gift..
Nicki
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7 Feb 10, 3:42 PM
Fitznicely
UK(B), 2 yrs
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NightFox wrote:
Respect
Can Doms/Dommes actually have any respect for subs ? They can be manipulated, abused, disciplined, ignored etc. So is it possible that they can be respected ?
NF
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manipulate, abuse, ignore or discipline my girl and see what my palm feels like.
Yes I respect the hell out of her, she takes all the shit I throw at her and loves it. What's not to respect? You know they say it's always the quiet ones you have to watch? That's me.
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7 Feb 10, 4:17 PM
Ethics_Gradient
UK(N), 5 yrs
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Amazoniax wrote:
Attitude_Adjuster wrote:
NightFox wrote:
Respect
Can Doms/Dommes actually have any respect for subs ? They can be manipulated, abused, disciplined, ignored etc. So is it possible that they can be respected ?
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Its OK for doms to abuse or manipulate people?
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There *are* people to whom that is their kink...extreme play, blackmail fetishes, etc. But considering it is CONSENSUAL and preagreed, it can't really be considered abuse or manipulation, can it?
Non-consensual - not ok. Consensual - what turns them on.
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a simple no would have done  And all men kill the thing they love, By all let this be heard,
Some do it with a bitter look, Some with a flattering word,
The coward does it with a kiss, The brave man with a sword!
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7 Feb 10, 4:18 PM
Ethics_Gradient
UK(N), 5 yrs
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Fitznicely wrote:
NightFox wrote:
Respect
Can Doms/Dommes actually have any respect for subs ? They can be manipulated, abused, disciplined, ignored etc. So is it possible that they can be respected ?
NF
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manipulate, abuse, ignore or discipline my girl and see what my palm feels like.
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I've been ignoring her for years already  And all men kill the thing they love, By all let this be heard,
Some do it with a bitter look, Some with a flattering word,
The coward does it with a kiss, The brave man with a sword!
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7 Feb 10, 4:31 PM
bighappygoth39
UK(WS), 2 yrs
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I personally have never felt so much respect for one man as I feel for my partner. I could never be in a relationship if I didn't respect him,and I feel that a D/s relationship needs respect on both sides even more so than a vanilla one along with complete trust of each other. My partner gives me control and he respects me fully and trusts me completely that I will not take that control and abuse his trust in me. For some I'm sure it's a different story but thats entirely upto them,but I know that I have the greatest respect for my partner and always will. :D |
7 Feb 10, 4:39 PM
OllieVW
2 yrs
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trillium wrote:
OllieVW wrote:
Ok here goes ill probably get shot down but im thick skinned.
IMO yes and no.
I think it all comes down to who you are playing with i.e. is it a long term play partner, wife, boyfriend etc... there doesnt seem to be a need for it within casual play, which im sure a large amount of us partake.
I dont have to respect the person playing with me if im in a club and end up playing and neither do they have to respect me surely?
How do you develope respect for someone you dont know or dont have time to.
Example of this was the Sub Hunt i went to, I didnt realy know anybody just from online. 9 femdommes that didnt know me, didnt know what im was like as a person but more than happy to control me, beat me and for their own pleasure (and mine).
So MY answer would be YES & NO as in my opinion respect takes time and sometimes time isnt available.
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The yes and no answer makes sense, however, there are usually people you/I would not play with (they may only do play that your against/they may not respect limits/they may just be creepy or disliked by your social group) on this bases you/I do not want to play casually with someone because of the lack of respect you/I have for the person.
Personally from a submissive point of view the more respect I have for a Dominant the more fulfilling I find the play, even the smallest bits of play, to my subservient desires.
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Agreed, my point though is and ill use myself as an example. When i was single and slutting playing was more important than the person playing with me. I was feeding my desire. I played casualy and im sure i still will but in the short time walking into a club/party, being asked if i was interested in playing or asking if someone wanted to play with me wasnt down to having respect for that person (i didnt know them) so threre was no respect just a desire.
I agree it is IMO more satisfactory to have someone you respect and have a connection with but that takes time again IMO.
You dont know if someone is safe, going to adhere to limits etc.. its a chance we all take when playing. Obviously if boundaries are broken the a lack of respect is formed but i still feel you dont necessarily have to have respect either way.
I didnt respect lima when we first played i lusted after her but trusted her enough respect is different in my eyes as you can respect someone but have little respect for them. This scenario happens in every day life at work how many people respect their peers but trust their decision making.
Its the same in BDSM for me i know people who will give me the pleasure i crave but repulse me in other ways, maybe the lack of respect links to the humiliation i feel when playing with them?
Hit me with your rhythm stick.
Hit me! Hit me!
Je t'adore, ich liebe dich,
Hit me! hit me! hit me!
Hit me with your rhythm stick.
Hit me slowly, hit me quick.
Hit me! Hit me! Hit me!
Ian Dury & the Blockheads
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7 Feb 10, 4:48 PM
mini_velvet
UK(EH), 6 yrs
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NickiB wrote:
Surely, submission is a gift..
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No, no and thrice no! |
7 Feb 10, 5:10 PM
NightFox
UK(CV), 2 yrs
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I have not assumed anything, nor have I stated what my opinion is. I want others opinions on this, that is why I asked questions.
NF jules9 wrote:
NightFox wrote:
Respect
Can Doms/Dommes actually have any respect for subs ? They can be manipulated, abused, disciplined, ignored etc. So is it possible that they can be respected ?
NF
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Can you explain how the two things are mutually exclusive? My problem with the OP is that it seems to assume this is the case, and for that reason is intrinsically flawed. I doubt you'll get one person here saying yes, yes, I don't respect any subs - just for the reasons you site...
For arguments sake though, it's not like *any* Dom could walk up to me and treat me like that (well not unless they wanted some severe pain themselves). All of these things you mentioned can only be "done" to a sub when you have their consent. If you don't respect them enough initially to gain that consent, then it's abuse.
XxX
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7 Feb 10, 5:52 PM
Ama_Sidero
UK(GU), 6 yrs
  
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Attitude_Adjuster wrote:
Amazoniax wrote:
Attitude_Adjuster wrote:
NightFox wrote:
Respect
Can Doms/Dommes actually have any respect for subs ? They can be manipulated, abused, disciplined, ignored etc. So is it possible that they can be respected ?
|
Its OK for doms to abuse or manipulate people?
|
There *are* people to whom that is their kink...extreme play, blackmail fetishes, etc. But considering it is CONSENSUAL and preagreed, it can't really be considered abuse or manipulation, can it?
Non-consensual - not ok. Consensual - what turns them on.
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a simple no would have done
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HA! Well, one person's kink is another's abuse - all is in the eye of the beholder!
It looked like a trick question to me!
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7 Feb 10, 5:52 PM
Fitznicely
UK(B), 2 yrs
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Attitude_Adjuster wrote:
Fitznicely wrote:
NightFox wrote:
Respect
Can Doms/Dommes actually have any respect for subs ? They can be manipulated, abused, disciplined, ignored etc. So is it possible that they can be respected ?
NF
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manipulate, abuse, ignore or discipline my girl and see what my palm feels like.
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I've been ignoring her for years already
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I won't take it, y'hear?! Bend over!
:D
You know they say it's always the quiet ones you have to watch? That's me.
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