Sub space without pain? (57)

couldn't agree more t ough might add same applies to ds as a whole...

Happiness lies neither in vice nor in virtue; but in the manner we appreciate the one and the other, and the choice we make pursuant to our individual organization.

Based on my play and what I've witnessed in the play of others, my opinion is that there's more than one type of reaction or state that gets called "sub-space" by different folks. I don't claim to be an expert at all but areas I feel may need distinction from each other are:

1) "Endorphin goo". Maybe you've had an exquisite flogging. Maybe you've got 20 needles running along your back. You're flowing with chemicals and quite content to be happy goo and/or you can now take a greater extent of further pain. I think this is what you are referring to.

2) "I'm all tied up, restricted and feeling warm and safe and now I'm going to enter a funny relaxed floaty headspace". I guess it depends on an individual's reaction to being restrained, how they were restrained and the environment they're in.

3) "He grabbed me by the hair and slapped me firmly around the jaw and it put me in a different state". I don't know if you want to call this subspace or if people feel it is even distinct from (2) above, but the floppy eyes-drifting-closed state of capitulation that I've witnessed after what is essentially violence - unapologetic firm face-slapping, choking, even controlled punching, cunt-kicking, use your imagination, etc. - is IMO a sort of 'space'. I see it in my play and that of friends.... and it's been at these points that I've felt some of the most powerful connections occurring, at a time when control, frailty, vulnerability and trust are most exposed.

4) I've seen one person induce what I believe were post-hypnotic suggestion trance-like states in susceptible subs. It was a 'space' and it was related to a sort of D/s dynamic but it is not something people will be generally referring to.

I don't want an academic debate about how valid these ideas are, but the basic message is that there's probably more than one state that different people have labelled "subspace" at different times.

Have fun. x

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch" - Jack Nicholson

Hi, without reading referenced thread (i am a newbie here), i may only suggest what works for us (for me, to be precise; it is less of a turn-on for my Lady) - the name's objectification. One may instantly drop into aubspace when he/she becomes his/her Dom's ashtray, footstool, coathanger, chandelier... i repeat, works for me/Us, does not necessarily have to work for you. Pet play (i mean knowing in advance that i'll be in role for several hours/overnight) also does the trick - one's no longer a person, he/she's reduced to a beast or an object.

Advantages: bondage, "strict" control/discipline etc. may be degrading or something simply hurts (physically), or something breaks in you emotionally. This simply cannot happen if you practice objectification.

Trouble is threads about "space" always end up being such a waste of "space" (geddit?????) for a number of reasons.

For instance, what is "subspace"? Every thread on the subject brings out a whole load of contributors all obviously discussing completely different and unrelated responses to BDSM experiences, yet all agreeing or alternatively arguing with each other on the, sometimes quite ludicrous, premise that they are all somehow singing from the same hymn sheet.

Some define a powerful adrenaline rush as "subspace". To others, and more commonly, it is a BDSM-induced endorphin high - though to some, only actually describable as "space" if it is so extreme that their subsequent "drop" will no doubt hospitalise them for the rest of their lives!

Others, without even seeming to notice that they are discussing a completely different subject, will chime in *in full agreement with all the posts re both above* while defining "space" as simply experiencing emotional warmth within a D/s connection - or else, the feeling of immersion in an alternative reality that comes from suspension of disbelief and "letting go" mentally - or the emotional or spiritual "high" that can result from submission to someone you are actually in love with.

Some will describe anything D/s or BDSM that feels mildly good at all as "space", while to others "space" isn't "space" at all until your eyeballs roll round to the back of your head and you lose the power of speech for the next three weeks.

And invariably some - including at least a couple I can think of who are always at polar opposite ends of the above spectrum (yet somehow always in agreement with each other) - will wish to impart nothing more informative than how their "space/drop" experiences are SOOOO much more extreme than everyone elses' - as of course is that of the people they play with too, because their play is SOOOOOO much more intense than us mere mortals (even though one such individual has been known to intimate on another occasion that their BDSM activity mostly comprises "just giving curious newbies a bit of a spanking to see if they like it"!), and turn most of this thread like so many others on the subject into a contest of self-promoting bullshit. If they haven't even already done by the time I post this!

So yeah. Very predictably loads of replies will tell you that "space" can be achieved without pain. But are they even speaking your language in terms of what "subspace" is, and can you give any creedence at all to what they say anyway?

Oh, the futility of online discussion boards!

I AM THE GOD OF HELL-FIRE!.....but its my lunch break right now

AdoringLion

I can start to space before play and later when thinking back.

The Red Rose Whispers Of Passion (J o'B R)

gracie got there with a rope suspension the other day

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." ~Marilyn Monroe.
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