Sub space without pain? (57)

Ooh, complicated! As a short answer, I remember feeling that way quite strongly aged six or seven when some other kid tied me up with a skipping rope in the playground (I was a captured princess... ). So I suspect feelings like that are inextricable from the development of my subbiness, really.

I think I know what you mean about memory but maybe you could elaborate?

TP

Swindonbdsmer (Matt)

this^ at the doctor's this week. (waiting-room-space? lol)

this^

I had a dream recently that was pure D/s, no other overtones at all, woke up in subspace and it lasted for hours. I had wanted to post and ask if this had ever happened to anyone else as it was such an intense feeling, but then I thought maybe it was too weird and I'd be accused of imagining it!

and this^

This last most recently occurs when I am at work and already starting to go into a spacey feeling. There is a work colleague there who is an innate Dom and a vanilla friend, purely platonic etc. If he is there, he will signal me with a look or a light touch that he knows I'm 'going' and will look out for me until I have recovered my 'self'; running interference so I don't have to talk or answer questions until I come out of it. I feel deliciously safe and floaty in the safety he thus provides. Yes, on my side there is also a surrendering sexual aspect to this and a wish to please but I sit on that hard, for obvious reasons.

On the other hand if he's not there it spirals out of control into a panic that means I have to flee the room (clumsily bumping into stuff on the way) and find somewhere to hide and have a cry, usually doing this several times before my system 'clears'.

Due to the latter it has been suggested that something else, possibly a medical-type inbalance is actually the cause, but if so, I find it very odd that the former is able to overcome it.

Maybe the reason why some of these definitions are so hard to pin down is that the causes of feeling in an altered state may have a common (physical) element but how it plays out at a given time is dictated by the specific circumstances?

I wish I knew some thing about 'good pain' but I don't. I can, when aroused in a small way, be brought to quick and fierce arousal by the application of 'bad' pain but I can't deal with the psychological fallout from that one. Being in the 'dominated' sub-space however results in a buoyed-up lightness and delight that can last for days.

For me, the only link between the pain-space and the sub-space is that the control of events is in the hands of another, but there the similarity ends. Actually the 'pain-space' seems almost like a cross between sub-space and Dom-space (as defined on here elsewhere) as the submission is there, but the intensity of focus is increased rather than spread into a dreamy diffuseness.

<edited for sense and because my social filters were on the blink again last night, apparently>

...rushing in where angels fear to tread
...burning bridges before they've even been built, but my don't the flames look pretty?

Edited 7 Feb 10, 7:56 AM by NimueBanditQueen

I have to agree with penwiggle and also add that a vac bed and a bubble can do just the same with the tightness and not being able to move OMG!!! and both without pain

The highest fences we have to climb, are those we have built within our mind

In a BDSM context I've also had only little experience with 'good pain'. I was once owned by a couple for a short period who were skilled enough to pick up on my muscle responses and put in the time/used mainly suede floggers to give 'good pain' floggings. Other then that it's just been when I've flogged myself or getting 'good pain' after a considerable amount of 'bad pain'.

When using a well balanced flogger correctly (in my view, as is the way with most instruments in skilled hands) it should not put any strain on the Tops arm or wrist for a good while of using it.

It would seem that the 'pain space' is directly influenced from external stimulus and the subspace is from external stimulus but directed by our mental perception of that stimulus.

What you say about 'pain-space' being a cross between sub-space and Dom-space giving an intensity of focus rather than a dreamy diffuseness is interesting. I would describe this focus as part of the independence from the masochistic side.

(your social filters were on the blink, hehe, this threads about 'domspace'? don't worry I've done the same on other threads)

Symbols can never be what it is they represent.

Edited 7 Feb 10, 12:44 PM by trillium

interesting definition !! If you would like to make the distinct difference of two altered states as :

Masochist Space & sub Space

I would agree that there are different spaces / altered states / mind sets in BDSM

In the past i would have said that subspace is something you experience after the scene . When you feel that lovely warm , sleepy , relaxed fulfilled and heightened emotional state.

However D/s and the energy / connection you can feel can create those feelings after a scene,

When i kneel in front of my Dom i feel over come , i feel a sense of deep submission , lost within a whirlpool of emotion , so focussed as well as unfocussed , relaxed yet alert , I feel like i am slipping into that warm comfortable space , like meditation , like a dream ....yet this is not brought about through pain!

I have experienced the sub space through pain alone ..it would take me a long beating to achieve that altered mental state ... Now i have delved deeper into D/s , I now find the simple things more thrilling , more fulfilling more complete than i have ever experienced.

When i kneel , Used as a foot stool , Lick a boot , crawl on the floor ...non of this is through pain ..but the mind set , the space gives me that heady coctail of emotion of feeling , so aroused i can hardly see straight , i feel almost drugged with the emotion , lost within a sea of senses , everything is clear around me , i feel connected yet distant ...it is sub space ..

I think that sub space can be achieved without pain

Perhaps different description could go further Fetish Space , Masochist Space , Bondage Space ....?

All i know is that I dont need pain to get me there .. fck

submission is permission to be yourself without judgment

Edited 7 Feb 10, 1:17 PM by Hislilpuppy

Edited to insert a missing word.

Further edited to add... He said that I'd made a happy man feel very old.

"Truth is stranger than fiction."
Q. What are the components of a good dynamic? A. The mutual desire to share ourselves with each other. (If you don't want to share yourself with me, don't offer yourself to me.)
@The_Problem_Page

Edited 7 Feb 10, 2:29 PM by chartreuse

Ha - love that

Re the senses and memory thing @ the Princess - I'll send you a message, it rapidly gets totally OT!

Absolutely!

I'm not into pain- but being gagged, hooded, and restrained will do it for me every time...or breathplay...among other things.

Oh I miss it

Where are we going? And what's with this handbasket?

Nice thread, and, yes, many times. Watersports, rope bondage, kneeling at Masters feet awaiting his pleasure, sub space is a state of mind that can easily be entered (and left) if the submissive wishes, it's a question of mind control M-wah ha ha.

What always vexes me is why so many submissives wait for their Dominant to do it for them, of course it's nicer with someone on the other end but it is also possible alone, with permission, of course and can be infinately pleasurable with the right memory bank of recollections to draw on.

Every second of every hour of every day I am Number 3
Always