Nobody's 'Nilla Anymore (5)

Posted by Enforced_Consent on Thu 4 Feb 10, 8:47 PM to Enforced_Consent's blog.

I've done a poll. All my friends are kinky. Every single one of them. Even the self-proclaimed 'nilla ones.

I asked a whole heap of my friends about their sex lives. Some of them are single, some in relationships, some married and it was a fairly tame question - 'Would you consider yourself to be kinky or have an interest in BDSM'. The poll group was over 50 people or couples.

Over 85% said they didn't think they were kinky or didn't have any interest in BDSM practices.

100% of the 85% non-kinky people then admitted to:

Using restraints - Fluffy handcuffs being the most popular with silk scarves or dressing gown cords being the next most used.
Verbal humiliation - Standard name calling all the way up to more severe terms.
Spanking - Albeit in the means of encouraging their partner to do more, go faster, not a 'standalone act'.
Sensory Depravation- Blindfolds being the number one here.
Breath Play - Most common one being hands round the throat while having sex or receiving oral, ok, so this is at the tame end of the spectrum but it's simulation of a BDSM practice all the same

So, this kinda lead me to think, in today's world, like it or not, aren't we all just a little bit kinky, whether we choose to admit it, or not?!

Or the other way of looking at it, if 'nilla is catching up with kink, aren't we all just becoming a little bit LESS kinky?!

Replies

4 Feb 10, 8:59 PM Christma_sassy UK, 3 yrs	Purely my own opinion, but I liked it more years ago when it was all depraved, underground and people didn't call it kinky. It was kind of more serious in a way. Deep, dark and kinda cultish and I liked that. Yum-yum. (º•.¸(¨•.¸¸.•¨)¸.•º) «.•°•. Scarlet .•°•.» (¸.•º(¸.•¨**¨•.¸)º•.¸) Edited 4 Feb 10, 9:00 PM by Christma_sassy
4 Feb 10, 9:56 PM Jezzebelle UK, 10 yrs	It's always been that way... I know people who are way more kinky than some who proclaim to be BDSM'ers. http://www.flickr.com/photos/jezzebelle/ Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives. - William Dement
5 Feb 10, 12:20 AM northern_light UK, 7 yrs	Within this lifestyle there are many people whose interests range from 24/7 D/s those who practice edge play to those who practice less intense forms of BDSM. I have friends who enjoy a bit of light spanking, handcuffs etc who are horrified by anything harder and who dont class themselves as being kinky. I have friends on here who indulge in "lighter" activities and who do, its all down to how you see things I guess. I certainly wouldnt class breath play as being just a bit kinky but thats just my personal opinion. I love the chastity now that it flows between us. It is like fresh water and rain. How can men want wearisomely to philander." "I love chastity now, because it is the peace that comes of fucking." DH Lawrence from Lady Chatterley's Lover
5 Feb 10, 6:03 AM Jude_the_Obscene UK(HD), 3 yrs	This survey just confirms what has always been the case. Is someone who calls their partner a "slut" in bed engaging in 'humiliation' or in 'dirty talk'? It's merely a matter of terminology. The term "vanilla" has always had far more to do with BDSMers differentiating themselves as a group than it does the sexual practises of the person being labelled. It fufils a similar function to descriptors like straight (the hippy usage), norm, suit, townie, trendy etc. I'm off to see the Bootleg Beatles. As the Bootleg Mark Chapman.
5 Feb 10, 10:22 AM Betony UK, 7 yrs	Going on all my experiences before I found IC I'm afraid I can't really agree that everyone's a 'little bit kinky' - unless telling someone that there's something wrong with them for wanting anything mildly bdsm has recently become a kink. Edited 5 Feb 10, 10:24 AM by Betony