Cheek vs disrespect (40)

This post is on the D/s & M/s web board.

Thu 4 Feb 10, 2:48 PM
Malbon
UK, 6 yrs

Cheek I enjoy greatly, I think it's all part of the fun of a well-balanced DS rel, and a sign of a girl who is spirited and happy - the way I want her.
Disrespect I don't allow.
Sometimes it can be hard to distinguish the one from the other and seeing where that line is can be tricky.
For me I guess it is just my instinct, my response. If I'm not happy about it then de facto it's disrespect and must be dealt with. But do I then run the risk of being inconsistent?
How do you distinguish them?
A gentleman is a man who can play the accordion but doesn't.

4 Feb 10, 2:53 PM
subette
UK(G), 2 mths

Oh - I would so love to know the answer to this... I am quite cheeky normally but find myself treading sooooo carefully in D/s because I don't want it to come across as disrespect.
Subette
Maybe I should just give up trying to correct my typos after I have posted...

4 Feb 10, 3:08 PM
yareli
UK(HP), 3 yrs
I apparently range from cheeky to stroppy, but won't dare to venture into disrespect. In fact, if there were cause for any disrespect the whole thing would fall apart.
As for how cheeky is distinguished from stroppy: It is what he says it is. It isn't always the same and there aren't hard and fast rules. He's the Dom innit?
So sometimes it is unpredicatble - part of what makes it interesting.
"I am just about at the end of my rope with you."
"Well, then why don't you tie a noose and slip it around your neck?"

4 Feb 10, 3:27 PM
bop_its_kk
UK(M), 5 yrs
I am quite fortunate in that I don't have to distinguish cheek from disrespect because kitten hasent' got a disrespectful bone in his cute little body or a disrespectful thought in his head, any cheekiness is just him in a playful mood
bop_it
Bind me, gag me, beat me and make me yours - kk (I have - bop_it )

4 Feb 10, 3:29 PM
subette
UK(G), 2 mths

yareli wrote:
As for how cheeky is distinguished from stroppy: It is what he says it is. It isn't always the same and there aren't hard and fast rules. He's the Dom innit?

Maybe I should just give up trying to correct my typos after I have posted...

4 Feb 10, 3:31 PM
FairyGirl
UK(YO), 11 mths
I would've thought it would be quite easy to tell, really. I'm often referred to as "pouty" and "petulant", which kind of go hand-in-hand with being cheeky/a bit of a brat.
"Nothing saves anyone's life, Sir. It just postpones their death." - Posner , The History Boys.
All it takes for bad English to prevail is for literate people to do nothing.

4 Feb 10, 3:51 PM
El_Presidente
UK(G), 2 yrs

subette wrote:

yareli wrote:
As for how cheeky is distinguished from stroppy: It is what he says it is. It isn't always the same and there aren't hard and fast rules. He's the Dom innit?

The reason there are no hard and fast rules is that it all comes down to the intention behind the cheekiness. If it's meant in a genuinely playful way, then it will be met with a playful response, whereas if the undertone of it is disrespectful, then the underlying attitude behind it might have to be examined and possibly corrected more robustly.
I really don't think you have anything to worry about though, subette. You're very thoughtful, and I can't imagine you coming out with anything that's genuinely disrespectful. Cheekiness, on the other hand, is just something that comes out when you start to relax, and when the mood is right, a little bit of playful but respectful banter rarely goes amiss.

4 Feb 10, 3:54 PM
MissP
UK(EN), 6 yrs

El_Presidente wrote:
The reason there are no hard and fast rules is that it all comes down to the intention behind the cheekiness. If it's meant in a genuinely playful way, then it will be met with a playful response, whereas if the undertone of it is disrespectful, then the underlying attitude behind it might have to be examined and possibly corrected more robustly.

Yes and no.
If the dominant is in a crap mood, the same cheekiness may very well reap an entirely different result.

www.thedivinemissp.co.uk

4 Feb 10, 3:58 PM
iaNIKKI
UK(LE), 11 mths

MissP wrote:

El_Presidente wrote:
The reason there are no hard and fast rules is that it all comes down to the intention behind the cheekiness. If it's meant in a genuinely playful way, then it will be met with a playful response, whereas if the undertone of it is disrespectful, then the underlying attitude behind it might have to be examined and possibly corrected more robustly.

Yes and no.
If the dominant is in a crap mood, the same cheekiness may very well reap an entirely different result.

So true...today's "cheek" can be tomorrow's "disrespect". Tough being a subby isn't it..LOL
Nikki

4 Feb 10, 3:58 PM
jokelme
UK(BN), 3 yrs

MissP wrote:
If the dominant is in a crap mood, the same cheekiness may very well reap an entirely different result.

I thought all dominants were perfection personnified or are there varying degrees of purrrfection ?

4 Feb 10, 4:12 PM
El_Presidente
UK(G), 2 yrs

MissP wrote:

El_Presidente wrote:
The reason there are no hard and fast rules is that it all comes down to the intention behind the cheekiness. If it's meant in a genuinely playful way, then it will be met with a playful response, whereas if the undertone of it is disrespectful, then the underlying attitude behind it might have to be examined and possibly corrected more robustly.

Yes and no.
If the dominant is in a crap mood, the same cheekiness may very well reap an entirely different result.

I'm not a particularly emotional person, so I'm quite lucky that I tend not to be in 'crap moods' as such; and if I am, I try my best not to let it cloud my judgment. However, we're all human, so as you say, it's not hard to imagine the same cheekiness getting a different response on a different day.
On those occasions, I guess it's up to the sub to apply a little common sense and know when not to prod the hornet's nest!
ETA: Yes, I know that sounds like I'm saying I'm purrrfect, following jokelme's reply, but... hmm... well, maybe, just maybe... I *am* purrrfect?
Edited 4 Feb 10, 5:05 PM by El_Presidente

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