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| PhoenixAmber |
on Sun 31 Jan 10, 5:05 PM to PhoenixAmber's blog.
I have been thinking a little about age play. A friend mentioned a blog that she had written and didn't think I would like it because I didn't like age play. Now I remeber having a conversation with her a while ago about not personally wanting to use the term Daddy to a lover/play partner but I didn't realize that I came across as anti-age play.
I will admit that I always hesitated around the concept of age play for two main reasons; the first was that I didn't really have an understanding of what it was or how it was done, what I recognized in myself didn't fall into the 'play' category that I thought was there but more importantly the second was that I was scared of what people might say or think.
Submission to me has always been accompanied with a certain carefree feeling. The adult world of work, family and responsibility means that a lot is down to me to organise and do. In the world of submission I have a lot of that taken away and so there is a carefree element.
I remember a long time ago now simply being happy and thrilled almost by the fact that I would go out drinking with a friend and he would choose where we went, I didn't have to decide, or think about it I just could be and follow. I loved that as simple as it sounds. I still love those little things that are taken out of my control, that I don't have to worry about.
Leading on I guess there is a part of me that does feel like a little girl around a dominant man who I respect, someone who I know can and will happily make little decisions and take care of me even just at that time, for te evening, or just as the mood takes.
I associated that with submission and D/s generally and didn't really make the link early on, it was how I felt as a submissive when I wasn't being a macsochist. I always saw age play as more than I felt although I did begin to notice it and question if it was OK to have.
It was mentioned once, that in certain situations I felt like a little girl to him, I had a mini explosion in my head then, as often happens when something you are thinking secretly is confronted. It was less because of what was said but because I didn't know what to say, if admitting that was a bad thing or not, I worried it wouldn't be 'OK' to agree, I think I asked that at the time, if it wasa bad thing or not.
It was no big deal at the time and was a simple momentary comment over the space of an evening together but I remember it and it started me thinking about the whole age play feeling and the possibility that it could be ok outside of my head and in the real world.
I do have aspects of age play in my personality, I know and have accepted that now. I have a deep craving for acceptance and wanting 'looking after'. This is usually hidden usually under fight, strength and capability. I know it's there I just have no idea how to bring it out. I really don't know how to incorporate it, or even if I need to as I have no control over when and how it comes out.
I can never imagine myself calling anyone 'Daddy' I just can't imagine it being something that I would do unless I guess I was made to then that would put it in a different head space completely. I have no terrible aversion to it anymore but I just don't see it as necessary to the age play exchange, I can be a little girl without him being my daddy, just as much as I can be 'slave-ish' without him being my master.
I never thought that I would see the day that I would do, and love, some of the things that I do and have done but I do, so I will not rule out the age play scenario. I know it's there and I am much more comfortable with it now than I ever was.
What I do adore from the feeling of being 'little' is the pure feeling of safety that it has, the feeling of 'the strong man will take care of me' is priceless. I want to keep that part although I still need to get my head around the taboo element that I still feel over talking about it.
Edited Sun 31 Jan 10, 5:22 PM by PhoenixAmber
| 31 Jan 10, 6:17 PM MRDaws UK(SE), 5 yrs |
huzzah to you young lady
hugs |
| 31 Jan 10, 7:25 PM Malbon UK(LS), 8 yrs |
I think a lot of people feel a certain squick factor with age play at some stage in their development, and some will steer well clear of it. I used to read stuff people wrote about regression and all the rest of it, and felt slightly concerned that it might be some sort of Pandora's box which you opened at your peril. But then I suppose I realised that, as with everything else, it was really up to me to define what I meant by it, and other people's ideas and statements weren't necessarily any guide to where I wanted to go with it. I use dressing to unlock the door to this, and my personal thing is the A-line gingham dress, the white socks, black shoes etc. Colouring in books are kinda nice too. The dressing allows the sub to explore her own feelings and responses, and then you just play with it together, creating your own definition of what it means to you. Of course other people will have a different take on it, maybe even extending into the adult baby world. But that's not for me, I'm happy with my own interpretation of what ageplay means, and content with this diversity. It's really just a part of what I do, and I find it very hot, but also very sweet and benign at the same time. A gentleman is a man who can play the accordion but doesn't. Edited 31 Jan 10, 7:44 PM by Malbon |
| 31 Jan 10, 8:01 PM Relaxed_and_Chaotic UK(SE), 3 yrs |
i have read the blog in question (always assuming that the one i have read is the one to which you are referring lol!) i have to admit to having issues with it, but that it has brought up more questions than answers within me. Now, the your kink/my kink thing is faily fuzzy for me here because although i never call Master my Daddy, i think that He can sometimes be that to me... However, this is a weird one for me...the term Mummy..... has a totally different effect on me. i have been trying to understand why it is that it has such an effect on me. Is it simply because i am one? That i have a daughter? Is it because i have not heard the word used in BDSM before? Is it because i am associating it with bad things in the press lately? What is it? i am, i admit, a confused slave... Please understand, i am not judging anyone at all, just questioning my feelings and my understanding of it all.... "There is no such thing as liberty. You only change one sort of domination for another. All we can do is to choose our master." D. H. Lawrence |
| 6 Feb 10, 11:01 AM FairyGirl UK(YO), 3 yrs   |
Ageplay confuses me more than anything... And it's my main kink! Interestingly, out of about ten separate men who have contacted me over the past few months, only one or two have had it listed as an interest on their profiles - so it's still one of those things that people aren't quite sure about.
I love it, and I enjoyed reading this blog "Nothing saves anyone's life, Sir. It just postpones their death." - Posner , The History Boys. |
