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| 30 Jan 10, 9:47 PM Miss_Poppins UK(RG), 2 yrs  |
Interesting. I had never given this much thought. In general I don't really care if things have been used with someone else before. It's not the kit that makes an experience what it is, but the people and the emotions involved. If emotions are attached to a something in particular, yes, I wouldn't want it to be used with someone else. As most people said, a collar would be such a thing for me as well. But otherwise I have to accept a partner's history how extensive it might be and for me other items like letters or photographs are of much bigger importance. I would say it depends on how well someone deals with his or her partner's past. If it's just not an issue, the kit won't matter. If it is, it does. Hab keine Angst, einen großen Schritt zu machen, wenn dies nötig ist. Ein Abgrund lässt sich nicht mit zwei kleinen Sprüngen überqueren (David Lloyd George). | |
| 31 Jan 10, 3:58 PM mis_chief UK(N), 2 yrs |
yeah, that sums it up well for me too. it would be rather silly to replace kit everytime you change partners, or having kit for all your playmates...only things which are meant to mean something for the people involved like a collar I would not want to have reused, this does not include a playcollar though. Mxx kinky drinkies | |
| 31 Jan 10, 5:38 PM Thistle US, 4 yrs |
I'm interested to read all of the responses referencing "each time you change partners" or "every new partner" et al. When I posted earlier, I didn't specify that I had been referencing items that were specifically designed, fitted for or intended for a previous partner. I don't necessarily think you should toss every tool, implement, furnishing, etc. away at the end of the relationship. However, the OP did indicate this was about a LTR, which is the only sort of relationship I'm ever interested in. I'm not the sort of person who goes through partners with such speed or frequency that I think it would cause any financial stress to get a new kit that is exclusive to my new partner. And I have to say that if he didn't think being with me was worth the investment, that attitude would make me more uncomfortable than someone else's bite marks on his ball gag. Pragmatism is all well and good in it's place, but I don't think it's any part of romance and commitment. love the brave but avoid cowards, knowing the gratitude of cowards is small ~Praxilla of Sicyon Edited 31 Jan 10, 5:39 PM by Thistle | |
| 31 Jan 10, 5:47 PM areyouok 2 yrs |
I can see that some items are highly personal but how far does one go? If someone I was starting a long term relationship with expected a new bed, new toilet seat, new cutlery and new door handles then I'd worry about what had happened in their past. | |
| 31 Jan 10, 5:51 PM Thistle US, 4 yrs |
Congratulations on a beautifully constructed straw man.
love the brave but avoid cowards, knowing the gratitude of cowards is small ~Praxilla of Sicyon Edited 31 Jan 10, 5:52 PM by Thistle | |
| 31 Jan 10, 6:49 PM areyouok 2 yrs |
Praxilla, I wasn't specifically addressing you, but given that you said that you didn't necessarily think every tool, implement, furnishing etc should be tossed out then I can't really see that you disagree with my comment. Maybe things like beds and toilet seats don't count as “gear” to some, but to a hygiene freak like me they are intimate, personal things that have as much personal consequence as many of the items in my toy box. | |
| 31 Jan 10, 7:34 PM epona74 UK(SL), 7 yrs |
I had a bit of an issue with some emotional baggage related to some cuffs before, so I passed them on to someone who could enjoy them without that. Since I don't want to get in the habit of doing that, I bought myself a full set (including a collar for play only, this has no emotional relevance at all). For me, this also helps since they're quite padded and I have old RSI problems with my wrists. So there's a practical element too. For me, the reuse of stuff in new relationships is pretty normal...within hygienic limits, obviously! And I completely agree that things given specifically, that have emotional attachment should perhaps be left alone, in the same way I wouldn't expect someone to reuse jewelry given to an ex either. But if it's just "equipment" then why not? We don't replace the sheets, buy new floggers, cooking utensils, or toothpaste just because we've split with the person we slept with, flogged, cooked romantic meals for or let brush their teeth in our bathroom!
Like most people have said though, it's essentially down to you and the person you're playing with/in a relationship with. If it makes you uncomfortable, then don't do it. If it doesn't, then do! Two roads diverged in a wood and I, I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference. (R. Frost) | |
| 31 Jan 10, 8:02 PM Xenolith UK(OL), 2 yrs  |
It depends, as it has been said, on the emotional attachment. When I stopped playing with my last regular submissive I thought it wrong to use the same toys and gear on another so I binned the lot, including the floggers, in the general waste bin, not the recyclable one, I didn't want any bin men looking through it all! A few weeks after I found myself with a woman that wanted to be restrained and disciplined, damn, didn't have anything, so had to buy it all again. When you buy a lot of things together it costs a pretty penny. So in future it's the same stuff for everyone. | |
| 31 Jan 10, 10:37 PM Mr_Frost UK(PL), 3 yrs |
I don't see a reason to buy new "equipment" from sub to sub. I have enough things in the "wish list" without adding things I already have back on it! So things like shackles, rope, spreaders, paddles etc are all reused. I think it would be a waste not to in an age where everything needs to be recycled. I never use toys that have been "inserted" between subs usualy because I just don't own stuff like that I use whatever the sub has themselves that way they know where its been and then if we continue meeting we might buy something together to expand *ahem* our options. | |
| 31 Jan 10, 10:45 PM Rhoobarb UK(FK), 11 yrs |
Yes, this too, for me. I bought, made or supplied all of the 'toys' we use. He bought and supplied all of the ropes he uses. I would have no problem using someone that had been used on someone else, so long as the hygiene issue was addressed. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ |
