This post is on the SM/Bondage/Fetish web board.
| 30 Jan 10, 6:46 PM this_girl UK, 5 yrs  |
One of the things that attracted me to my dom is his ability to make equipment himself, and he had quite a lot of it when we met since he's had a decade or two of making things! I wouldnt have expected him to start again from scratch with me...especially since our first few play dates were very casual. It would have took him years ! So a lot of the equipment had been generic sizes that had been used on more than one person. He is health and safety conscious and is very meticulous with cleaning his equipment so i had no concerns on that score. The collars he had at that time were just all different shapes and sizes that he could use dependant on the person and the session. As far as i know he's never used a collar on me that had been a regular one of someone else. Those were just 'play session collars' Though, once things got serious he made me my own leather collar to my size so it fits perfectly. I loved the craftmanship and feeling he had put into that, and i wouldnt expect him to use that one, or my eternity one that i wear on anyone else if we were to split. Any other equipment is pretty much fair game provided its santisied. AS someone said , its just stuff. When i split from my ex a few of my items, including my first cuffs i bought from bbb went astray, and i was gutted for a while since they had memories attached of being used on me and on subs i had in the past, but really its the session and the play that makes the memory, and the person, not really the material things. I definately think though its fun to have some new stuff to make or save up and buy with a new partner though too. So i think i'm in favour of a bit of both, some old, some new. | |
| 30 Jan 10, 6:57 PM gigglewiggle UK(DA), 3 yrs  |
Cuffs and such, i wouldn't care, personally. However, a collar...never, ever would i wear someone else's collar. That is too personal. my Master's gear is His. However, *i* wouldn't want to hear about how many have been in them. It would kind of feel like i was just a replacement for the person before. Submission is a journey best not taken alone. | |
| 30 Jan 10, 7:10 PM Jahc99 UK, 5 yrs |
I binned some most favourite, mostly hand made gear at the end of a 10 year relationship. Buggrit, wish I still had that, was really good stuff! Why poison your liver when I could eat it for you?
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| 30 Jan 10, 7:12 PM SimpleSoul UK, 6 yrs |
For me there are certain things that will never be used by anyone ever again such as her collar and the flogger that we chose together. Those few things were 'ours' and not meant for sharing or reuse. I'm sure that in the future, if fate allows, I will have someone else to call 'mine' and then there will be some things which will be 'ours' too.
Having said that most things are just that, things, meant to be used As someone else has said, lock the special things away with the memories. | |
| 30 Jan 10, 7:42 PM CarolinaMoon IE, 4 yrs |
I have a few bits that I brought into the relationship. They are mine alone. The rest is his and its down to him what to do with them if we were to break up. He had most of the stuff before me. I assume he used some of it on others.... | |
| 30 Jan 10, 7:43 PM CarolinaMoon IE, 4 yrs |
Nah...if himself and I ever broke up I'd take that too.... | |
| 30 Jan 10, 7:50 PM ClassAct2005 UK(N), 7 yrs |
I think most people wouldn't like intimate things used on them which were for someone else. Something like cuffs is fine or a whip but the exact things she supposedly li kes - like seeing bite marks of someone else on it would put me off and make me think he was a bit mean in not buying something new and certanily not a collar. You don't want someone to feel like they might if a man had got engaged, girl threw back the ring and then he saves it for the next girl. | |
| 30 Jan 10, 7:53 PM rebel_angel UK(RM), 3 yrs   |
I don't mind recycling equipment/restraints, however if it was going to be a collar I would only use it in a play sense if it was not a ex-perminant collar! I don't like the feeling of wearing a collar that has emotional baggage, as I would want to wear one special to me. There again I'm a collar slut and have many of my own. One of which I use for my partner in play, which an ex Dom gave me (it was not a perminant collar just a play one), which my partner knows he cannot keep (even though it's pink and he loves it), it is mine, and goes home with me after every use. At the end of the day its yours and your sub's choice, if you want to use the stuff use it. If not then don't. Life is a game, it just depends how you play it. | |
| 30 Jan 10, 8:07 PM DeadlyDesire UK(TW), 5 yrs |
Well this is a very personal and individual response as they all will be. Cuffs and collars should never be transferred in my opinion. I certainly couldn't handle it knowing they were not given to me specifically for me. My cuffs and collar are extremely precious to me and help me harness my submission. My cuffs are from Quality Control and at one point i wore them every day even to work at Sir's request. They are made in the round so that they never lie flat this is for ultimate comfort. I can even sleep in them. My cuffs perhaps even more so make me remember and feel my submission. Toys such as floggers and ball gags i would happily transfer however if i had paid for them out of my money they would come with me. This is a very interesting question though the responses have all been so different. I am definitely going to keep an eye on this thread. xXx DD xXx | |
| 30 Jan 10, 8:14 PM River_Deep UK(M), 6 yrs |
This is pretty much it for me. I have bought, or had bought for me, new items and I have also used, or had used on me If we are talking relationship wise, kit is expensive but no price can be put on the person you love's emotions if it is causing them an issue. RD xx It is not what you say or do but the way you say or do it |
. The difference is that they dont have the personal memories and significance.
, items that have come with the gentleman applying them.