New girl new gear? (42)

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Sat 30 Jan 10, 3:06 PM
Wishiwasawombat
UK(LN), 22 mths

My previous sub and I had some gorgeous equipment(leather cuffs, ankle cuffs and collar) made to measure for her. When we split she left them with me as she was not sure how kinky her next relationship would be and she could always be re-measured if she required it.
I have never used the gear in play since and always presumed that if I did find another kinky LTR then my submissive would want her own personal toys.
Recently though I was talking to a submissive girl about this topic and she said she loved the idea of struggling in restraints which had been used by other subs. That even having a ballgag(as long as it was meticulously clean) with another's teeth marks in it, would remind her that somebody else had been in the same situation as her, biting down in pleasure or pain. This was apparently one of her greatest turn ons which although surprising to me does make sense. The only thing very personal to her was understandably a collar which looks vanilla but she appreciated its significance.
I was just wondering what a subs perspective was on this, are you happy wearing second hand restraints or are those made personal to you so much more special? Have Doms/Dommes found themselves having to spend a small fortune on new equipment or is it not an issue. Just thought I would ask as it is a topic I don't really know much about but could be relevant to many people.
Wombat
Silence is golden, duck tape is silver.

30 Jan 10, 3:09 PM
Praxilla
US, 2 yrs
I think the answers are going to be as varied as each individual.
My answer - lock it up in a box, along with your photographs and lovenotes from the old relationship and get something that's personal to us.
love the brave but avoid cowards, knowing the gratitude of cowards is small ~Praxilla of Sicyon

30 Jan 10, 3:17 PM
jules9
UK(WA), 12 mths
It depends on if there is any emotional attachment to something.
To my mind, toys are just inanimate objects for the most part, and I have no issue with reusing. Other than the obvious hygiene exception, the only other exception for me is if there were a personal and emotive significance attached to something.
A collar has huge emotional significance and I simply wouldn't accept a recycled collar (other than a basic play one).
XxX

30 Jan 10, 3:18 PM
mornington_crescent
UK(CB), 18 mths
Hygiene aside, I would happily re-use gear, but I'm a pragmatic sort. Waste not, want not.
I'm also a believer in subs owning their own kit, which can go with them to the next relationship.
~ Also known as catherine_winkworth

30 Jan 10, 3:46 PM
littlenic
UK, 3 yrs
I'm not fussed, to be honest. I've got my own stuff and am happy to use that, and I have in the past been happy to have kit that's been used with others used with me too.
It doesn't matter, unless it's meant to matter - i.e. something bought / given for significant emotional reasons. I'd want that to be part of the relationship, so newly bought, and not used again afterwards (by me at least).
Edited to add: for those who like everything new each time - at what point do you go and buy that? Before you first play? And what happens if it doesn't work out? Do you bin all that stuff again after a few weeks and then buy fresh again when you next meet someone? Seems like a bit of an expensive way to go about things, to me.
Edited 30 Jan 10, 4:08 PM by littlenic

30 Jan 10, 4:02 PM
pixie15_CJ_s
UK(EX), 5 yrs
each to thier own ... but im not into second hand stuff .. however clean ... i know we both had a life before we met ... we both had partners we played with but .... no
my collar is just that ..my collar ... same goes for my cuffs ... gags ... and that ton of kinky gear we have in our dungeon ...
people have asked to play in our dungeon ..close friends .. but we have never allowed it .. the idea of others naked on my stuff gives me the creeps ... bodily fluids ... yucky!!!

chaos mayhem and desaster......my work here is done

30 Jan 10, 4:25 PM
song_the_breeze
UK(W), 6 mths

I don't care, as long as it's not a recycled collar. As long as it's all clean of course. I couldn't afford to buy new stuff every time, and why should I, I love the kit I've got.
You can control her only as well as you can read her

30 Jan 10, 4:48 PM
Mistress_Avralivia
UK(RG), 10 mths
£
Can't understand why anyone would change their equipment when getting a new slave. Sheesh that would be stupidly expensive.
However if you have owned someone and they had a collar with significance I can't help but think using it again seems wrong to me.
�If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.�

30 Jan 10, 4:56 PM
totallycoverme
UK(M), 2 yrs
I think to expect someone to buy a whole new set of tools would be asking too much bu because the cuffs were made especially for your ex sub, it would be the same as giving a previously used collar to someone who you were hoping to start a new relationship with.
That is to say that I wouldn't want a second hand wedding ring or wedding dress so why a second hand collar or cuffs that were made to measure for a persons ex.
I appreciate that everyone comes with a past but I think when it feels like you're trying to fill someone else's shoes (cuffs) it can be a bit much and a bit deflating.
It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice xx

30 Jan 10, 5:06 PM
Lady_Anna_Bradford
UK(BD), 3 yrs
£
Isn't this a bit like saying "Ooooo no, you used that cock in someone else!"

Seriously though, you have to be realistic and pragmatic. I have collars that will never be worn again but I keep them as a memento. Everything else is there to be used and enjoyed...and that isn't just from a professional perspective.
"If no sexual offence is being committed it seems very odd indeed that there should be an offence for having an image of something which was not an offence," Lord Wallace of Tankerness
http://www.clips4sale.com/studio/26308 http://ladyannadominatrix.c4slive.com/ http://www.professionaldomination.co.uk

30 Jan 10, 5:12 PM
SinPar
US, 10 yrs

Wishiwasawombat wrote:
Have Doms/Dommes found themselves having to spend a small fortune on new equipment or is it not an issue.
My kit is my kit. Some of it has been used on many, many people and cleaned well between. I am not throwing an original Joe Wheeler singletail out because it's been used. I have items of sentimental value that I use less because it can rub some salt in old hurts, but on the whole my equipment is mine and anyone I play with is consenting to me playing with them. My kit is part and parcel of the "me" they are playing with.
The one thing I won't share between people are intimate insertables or anything that's been in the mouth that can't be cleaned totally. My bondage collar has been worn by several people- it is different than the collars people wear because it has no emotional meaning really and is being used as another point of attachment or restraint. I'm sure it probably carries some psychological weight for some people, but that's just serendipity for them. If it puts them in a bad place mentally, I don't use it.
SinPar

-- The weak are the most treacherous of us all. They come to the strong and drain them. They are bottomless. They are insatiable. They are always parched and always bitter. They are everyone's concern, and like vampires they suck our life's blood. (Bette Davis)

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