This post is on the D/s & M/s web board.
| Thu 28 Jan 10, 6:50 PM His_Lilah UK(NE), 2 yrs |
just wondering if Dom/Domme's ever feel guilt for their actions, ir indeed is Guilt more a female emotion in general, I know myself I can get so wound up over things and feel guilt which then in turn gets me flustered and makes the situation worse....
missing a bus and being late for an appointment I hate being late so then feel guilty because I know missing the bus will make me so. so is Guilt more a female emotion as opposed to a male one and do Dom/Domme's feel guilt during play or more importantly Punishment sessions? ty in advance for replies | ||
| 28 Jan 10, 7:05 PM the_unsub 2 yrs |
I'm not sure if Dom(me)s feel guilty for their actions, I certainly hope not because we subs love what the Domly ones do  Try again. Fail again. Fail better. - Samuel Beckett | ||
| 28 Jan 10, 7:14 PM Topthoughts UK(CV), 6 yrs  |
I never ever feel guilt for my actions. But have been soft on Punishing someone I cared about.Did i say that? daddy loves his lil girl Edited 28 Jan 10, 7:15 PM by Topthoughts | ||
| 28 Jan 10, 7:51 PM Incandescence UK, 3 yrs |
When topping, I've only ever felt guilty once and that was because I made a mistake. Other than that I know Ollie enjoys it so have nothing to feel guilty about. Perhaps it's more of a problem with D/s than with S&M just because of the way it works with regards to pushing limits, punishment etc. Although even then I'd be very surprised if many Dom/mes feel guilty about what they do. After all, it is SSC/RACK (hopefully). In order to know virtue, we must first aquaint ourselves with vice - Marquis De Sade | ||
| 28 Jan 10, 9:20 PM BooteDom UK(NR), 6 yrs  |
Guilt is never black and white is it? There may be a sliver of guilt but then again not so much as to inhibit either the action or the enjoyment of any particular scene. This has never been a problem for me but that doesn't mean to say that I don't acknowledge its existence particular in a D/s relationship where my feelings for the person I am playing with is an integral part of the dynamic. | ||
| 28 Jan 10, 9:29 PM relaxed1 UK(BR), 6 yrs |
I never feel guilty about my consensual actions as a dom, but about other things, of course. When I make errors of judgement that have implications for someone else, of course I feel guilty; only a sociopath would feel no guilt where errors cause pain, anguish or upset to another human being. "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking up at the stars" - Oscar Wilde | ||
| 28 Jan 10, 10:07 PM TwistedMe 2 yrs |
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies. | ||
| 28 Jan 10, 10:17 PM passion8 UK(SW), 3 yrs |
I wouldn't want a Dom to feel any guilt in a relationship with me - unless they had done something deliberately unacceptable (open to intepretion of course but it might involve cheese). If, for instance, they had accidently pushed our limits too far or been a little imprecise with the implements, I would want it to be a learning experience for both of us. Not guilt. Guilt is painful and not a nice kind of pain. This is not just any scene, This is an S&M scene xx Edited 28 Jan 10, 10:18 PM by passion8 | ||
| 28 Jan 10, 10:43 PM relaxed1 UK(BR), 6 yrs |
There are plenty of online resources, if you're interested, but one of the defining characteristics of a sociopath is the inability to feel guilt. Learning from an error without feeling any remorse at the affect that it has on another does not excuse the error or absolve the person of responsibility. "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking up at the stars" - Oscar Wilde | ||
| 29 Jan 10, 1:05 PM Belasarius UK(M), 8 yrs      |
I had one session which precipitated a very great deal of guilt: It was supposed to be play - but I both our heads were in the wrong space. It should not have happened at all, but what I did was worse - went ahead and treated it as punishment. Results were horrid for both. Patience is bitter - but its fruit is sweet. | ||
| 29 Jan 10, 1:17 PM Cleric UK(M), 11 yrs   |
Yes. The fact that you enjoy imposing your will on someone else and causing them pain, is something that can take time to get your head around.
More doms struggle with it than is generally recognised, I think. Because we're all Domly and perfect and infallible, like. Manchester FAB Munch |
Luckily I'm an Irish Catholic so I have my A-Level in guilt to refer to...