Posted by Visualize on Tue 26 Jan 10, 3:07 AM to Visualize's blog.
Tarot cards.
Beautiful things as a meditative, contemplative device.
I used to play with Tarot cards many years ago. I didn't tend to read them for other people very often, but I used to "test" them to see if the answers to the questions actually made sense or whether it was just random.
Just under a year ago I met someone in person who I had known on line for a long time. First meetings in person can be difficult so she suggested digging out the Tarot cards as she knew I was of a spiritual bent and it would make for a focus for conversation.
We read each others cards against various questions, thumbing through the book and shrugging our shoulders sometimes, as the "answers" were occasionally as ambiguous as the questions, but more often than not we were saying "That is accurate and fits in with all the rest of the spread".
As the months have gone on and our understanding of each other has grown, when we consult the cards now it makes even more sense and now we are more likely to say "yes, that does fit, because you...." and the other person says "God, do I , yes I suppose I do..." and the whole thing gets to be more like a sort of mini self-help group as we both discover how someone else really perceives us.
Anyway, as the cards are hers, I decided to get some of my own.
I went to a stall on Coventry market, which besides all the usual trappings you will find in any new-age type shop, had a decent selection of cards.
The cards that were recommended to me were "Wisdom of Avalon" cards which are non traditional and so suited me down to the ground 
as I don't do "traditional". Instead of the standard suites of pentacles, wands and so on, these cards are centered around the journey, the messengers and the guides.
When I got them home, I spent quite a long time just looking at the cards, and even longer shuffling them and just handling them.
After a while, I decided on a general question about my life path - where had I come from, where was I now and where was I going. Suitably vague for a first go. I drew three cards to represent past, present and future.
The card for the past was "the Goblin" card which signifies negative, fear, anger, resentment. The second card, representing the present was "Trust", which is about trusting that the outcome will be what it is divinely meant to be, letting go of expectations of betrayal but still walking with a little caution, The card for the future was "Forgiveness" - the key to freedom and peace.
There is much more blurb in the book than that but those are the key points.
The goblin in my past was harsher than I expected - was I such a Goblin to others? I really hope not. I hoped I was more of a Goblin to myself.
The "Trust" card for the present was exactly how I feel right now in almost every aspect of my life. I couldn't have chosen a more apt card for where I am if I had sifted through the pack and the descriptions all night, let alone have it just appear at random.
The card for the future was very positive. I find it hard to forgive some of the things from the past, but I know that is exactly what I need to do to carry on moving forwards.
The cards reinforced what I already thought - that since I left my wife I had found my way back onto my path, challenging as it had been, with enormous highs and the cavernous lows. I am have gone a long way now towards finding "myself" and living my life my way instead of feeling so crushed and bullied and repressed - not that those feeling were something she "made" me feel - I take responsibility for my own feelings now, (although I didn't at first), but that is where the dynamics of a very long very stale relationship had taken us. I expect I did as much harm to her - the Goblin card says that 
The next reading I did was about my eldest son and was very harsh. I asked about my life journey with him, past present and future.
The first card for "past" was "wasp". And boy did I feel guilty. The wasp card is about jealousy, envy, bitterness. My first child had a very bad entry into the world - resulting in his near death at birth and a lot of physical damage to his mother.
Things have never been easy with him - he is Auspergers, and his emotions and feelings ruled the family from about 2 to 7 years old. He craves attention and, although things have got much easier as he has got older, he will push every button that exists when he wants attention. And I do resent that. Although he can't control it and he is a child and his needs come first, his needs over the years have overwhelmed everyone.
That doesn't make me feel any better 'though for getting the wasp card. Because up until I left the family unit, I didn't recognise that no one in the family was truly on his side.
The "present" card was "deer", which is about gentleness and diplomacy. Gentleness with an emphasis on not mistaking it for softness. Again that fitted so well. When I go and visit the family now, I enter the family far more energised and engaged than I was before. I can see through the family dynamics better than I could before. I can make sure that I don't give the others more attention than the eldest, or the eldest more attention than the others. My ex can cope better as she is moving on from our failed marriage and has her independence. When I say that her treatment of him is unfair, she listens. The conflicts are relatively minor. Things are so much better.
The final card in that story was "mystery".The book says that this is a very good card, although the text implies that this is a journey that will go up and down and all over the place in terms of challenges. Did I expect anything else. At least now I am walking the path with my son even though it will clearly be very bumpy.
Just to round the evening off, another friend popped up on MSN and I tried a "distant" reading for her question. Although I don't know what the question was, the cards made a lot of sense to her too.
It could just all be random - maybe whatever cards come up against whatever question we will find something in it, but even so, as a method of soul searching and understanding yourself, so far I am hooked
ETA : if you are not on my network then replies will start hidden. Sorry and all that.
Edited Tue 26 Jan 10, 3:31 AM by Visualize
| 26 Jan 10, 3:37 PM just_ally UK(SG), 6 yrs  |
I love my cards, I think that they tell us a lot about what is happening at the time, with some hints to the past and some to the future. I read my own when I have a major urge to read them and they are so spot on at times as to what is going on around me. I try not to read my own too often and make sure that my mood is fairly neutral as it can affect the cards somewhat.
good luck im hooked too
Ally Don't apologize for your choices. They are the only things that define you ultimately. |
