Subspace in public or inappropriate places? (12)

Does anyone else suffer from this? If so, how do you tackle it?

Cogitation in progress. For your own safety please stand well back!

Edited Sun 24 Jan 10, 1:13 PM by NimueBanditQueen

So without covering material you have now snipped, I can still offer the thought that I find it possible to replicate the sensation of subspace if daydreaming about a particularly good session or listening to music which I associate with play. This does happen on the train on the way home for instance if listening to my IPhone. And it happened in the bath a few weeks ago (although not a very public place!). But I do seem to be able to pull myself out on demand.

I've always struggled with the ability to relax. But since playing with my current Dom who seems to put me into subspace with immeasurable ease, I now recognise the components that I need to put me there; feeling safe, strongly focussed on something, devoid of self-consciousness, emotionally and intellectually engaged with someone or something.

These elements can combine outside of BDSM and that is provides the opportunity for it to occur "in public" and possibly inappropriately. I have had no difficulty managing this as my usual sense of behaviour-awareness kicks in - I do care what other people think of me. But I can see how small variations on one's emotional or physical state could make that more difficult.

Do drop me a memo if you would like my thoughts on some of your earlier post. I do empathise.

Passion x

This is not just any scene, This is an S&M scene xx

Hi Passion, thanks for replying

I snipped it not because I was uncomfortable but because I thought it might be inappropriate for a raw newby to put up such a long post (took me time to edit it down to just that length, lol!) I felt like it might be abusing people's attention span, like monopolising a podium and telling a long boring story. Or just not really appropriate to people's interests here.

I still have the text, I will reinstate it; especially as, since this topic didn't seem to be covered I thought maybe it could help some future passer-by.

<edit - changed could to will>

Edited 24 Jan 10, 2:51 PM by NimueBanditQueen

But to answer your shorter question:

I have had two experiences of trying to stop subspace, one awful the other ok but I don't think fully succesful either.

The first was at home with Cassius, I hit subspace easily and fly long and hard sometimes. He had said he didn't want to play too hard until after dinner which was cooking. But I ended up floating off anyway but tried to fight it off. It was a horrid experience. I jerked and had muscle spasms and was so cold. I felt as if I was being jolted with electricity. In the end Master calmed me and convinced me to let go. I hit subspace but not for long and had a big drop... Cold, freezing shivers, and disorientation it was awful.

The second time was last Sunday at my first event at the BBB after party, and the first time I had been on a st Andrews cross and flogged in public (yum!). I recognised the signs and asked Master to stop, he did knowing I wasnt ready to space in public. I don't think I stopped it fully in hindsight, as I remained spacey, laughing through my next session. But I didn't go in deeply, I could still function, was aware of my surroundings and nit off with the fairies.

But I crashed (dropped) heavily when I got back to the hotel, extreme cold that just wouldn't go away for hours. And I felt ill, usually after spacing I sleep, well Master said I went into such a deep sleep nothing roused me and that's unusual except after spacing.

But this time wasn't as bad as the first...so maybe it will get easier to stop in the future.

Edited to add: I'm not ready to space in public as it's too personal and I'm very out of it, but I'm not sure I'm going to be able to control it as I really do go easily when I feel safe with Cassius and he's giving me delicious sensations.

Tazallie
Getting there!

Edited 24 Jan 10, 2:52 PM by tazallie

I didn't see it myself. Maybe put it as a weblog if it worries you. You can write as much as you like there, though I shouldn't think many would be bothered with it being here in the first place

It has certainly happened to me on numerous occasions.

~“Nothing is ever the same as they said it was. It's what I've never seen before that I recognise.” Diane Arbus~
~"it's what you see other times that's interesting"~ foxxx~
www.londonalternativemarket.com

Edited 24 Jan 10, 2:52 PM by prettyname

Yeah, now it looks like you want to know who else has been seriously snipped!

And I don't think I can help you there, though have just made a fine attempt at amputating my bum with an 8' bullwhip.

Why poison your liver when I could eat it for you?
The antidote to whinge threads...?

*******************************************

Hello, new here, unless you count a brief stint on IC chat 9 years ago. I'm looking for advice. I hope I've picked the right board.

I came on here to advertise and look for (hopefully) an ltr, but having read around and re-examined my motivations I think I need to take a step back and sort some things out first. (By the way, a big thanks to all the guys, gals and in-betweeners who have given freely of your wisdom and compassion, it's great to have a resource like this!)

The problem is: I seem to have the ability to 'flip' into subspace at inappropriate times and places – at work, at home, or even just out and about. Obviously this is both inconvenient and unsafe. Presumably there are triggers although I don't know what they are. Some of the information on chemical attributes may provide clues as to what to look out for. I seem to be chemically challenged (thank you MsSlide link for making me feel safe to say that). Slight triggers can cause an internal panic/arousal state (flight/fight, not the other kind!) so they may be precursors. I'll also have to see if it is associated with a drop as opposed to what I have taken for just random 'drops'.

I do take citalopram but I think the problem predates that. It may be an exacerbating factor (link) but I am loth to remove the one thing that enables me to function. Besides, how would I raise it with the Doctor? “I was on IC researching subspace and …” I think he'd be a bit lost!

I am sure some people are thinking that this is just a sonambulistic state rather than a 'sub'space, but actually I seem to be resistant to both hypnotherapy and self-hypnosis (sigh!). Ironically I am pretty sure that that is because I have to work so hard to be on guard to protect myself from external influences that I can't easily relinquish control.

I've been around just enough to be pretty sure it is the same as sub-space (for me anyway). Strong dominant personalities - including but not limited to those to whom I am attracted - trigger it very easily. I am sure this could be blissful in the right circumstances and with the right person, hence how I came to be on here anyway, oh and BD curiosity. Anyway, I'm digressing!

The thing is, for me it doesn't require the input of another person to happen, and both states are almost exactly the same: non-verbal, loss of self-will, loss of sense of surrounding spatial proportions, dreamlike, childlike loss of ego and loss of sense-of-self, worryingly biddable.

If a dominant person is the cause there is more liklihood of (or actual) sexual arousal linked to a strong and undifferentiated urge to submit; but even that can happen with no dominant persent. Luckily at work and in most social situations I retain enough sense of propriety to keep my actions outwardly appropriate. It did fail me once in public though.

At work, it's awkward. I have a colleague who can help, when he's there, but I'd rather just have it not happen. I can't work in that state, could you? In social situations it's downright dangerous. I'll spare you gory details. [I may make a list for my own amusement ].

I am not a doormat, nor am I weak-willed (except in this state, obviously). I did attend a munch (once) and fell 'under the influence' but happily the dom accidentally knocked me out of it by doing something I found so inappropriate that I squiked (twas but a little thing … lol)

I suppose I could attend munches if I bring a kink-friendly friend/bodyguard? However I doubt many potential partners would be comfortable with that even at a first 'coffee and chat' meeting. Besides now I am suspecting my motives for wanting a Dom at all – perhaps I was just looking to hide behind someone from something that I need to fix for myself.

So, my options seem to be: a) find a way to reliably squik myself (tricky in the workplace) b) self-inflict pain since that's probably a squik equivalent (ditto) c) change my meds or d) learn to live with it and stick to being alone - but what's the point of being like this if you can't find someone to share and enjoy it with?

Any other ideas? (Sorry for the long post, I did a Web Board search but no-one seems to have posted anything like this, I guess I'm just weird ).

LOL!

You need to get your medication checked. It may not be that but equally it may. The dosage could need altering or an alternative one could be prescribed.

Side effects of this drug do include loss of concentration, loss of focus, and awareness etc and if you look around there are reports of people spacing out on it.

That isn't to say this isn't subspace, it could equally be. But your wellbeing is worth a trip to the doctor, just explain your experiences (leaving out subspace) and see what he says. Or it could equally be that your meds are making you more susceptible to your innate ability to space.

Where any medication is concerned it's better to err on the side of caution.

Tazallie
Getting there!

Agree with tazallie about getting the meds checked. However I was on Citalopram for about 4 years, and my symptoms were 'much worse' before the medication, 'still there' during medication, and 'still there and a bit worse but not as bad as pre-medication' once I stopped. The meds definitely helped a lot. Sadly other side effects made me decide to stop them.

One question (only if you feel like answering, of course)... but do you 'lose time' when you space out? Or do you stay constantly aware but with extreme 'floatiness'? (sorry for poor descriptions, I can't describe my own, let alone couch phrases others find clear).

SB x