This post is on the Pro-Mistresses etc web board (moved from Other BDSM).
| Fri 22 Jan 10, 9:58 PM thatboyspike UK(N), 2 yrs  |
Not here to cause an argument about Pro vs Non Pro Domme's but just wondering if it would be recommended for me in terms of getting some experience. Due to a chronic shyness I still haven't really just turned up at a munch but the fact I can't seem to find anyone on here to interact with on a personal level outside of a few memos combined with my new job increasing my financial freedom I'm seriously considering booking a few visits to a Pro-Domme. I'm wary though that Pro-Domme experience may not tally with a LTR which is something I eventually seek. Any help/advice/abuse/whatever would be nice. | ||
| 22 Jan 10, 10:02 PM Mistress_Susannah UK(SE), 6 yrs £  |
Pluses and minuses. I'd never encourage someone who was interested in a D/s relationship to go for a pro Domme..... it's not really the right avenue. You're better off biding your time, attending munches and clubs and building relationships from there. Having said that, what you can experience with a pro Domme, in my experience, can be pretty special. I'd simply advise you to think.... maybe attend some scene events or go on dates first... and then be highly selective about who you approach, lifestyle or pro! | ||
| 22 Jan 10, 10:08 PM lisal 8 yrs |
Wise words (as usual) from Mistress Susannah It's a very personal thing - it works for some and not for others and Mistress S is very right about the D/s relationship . It's possible to build up a D/s thing with a PD but, generally, it's not the right way to go if that's your BDSM goal Good luck with how you go forward. I sympathise greatly with the shyness and munches (and I know all the stuff about meet and greet) can still be quite daunting to go into on your own Edited 22 Jan 10, 10:52 PM by lisal | ||
| 22 Jan 10, 10:14 PM anncat UK(ST), 7 yrs |
It is hard when you are shy.... I've never been to a munch or club because I daren't go alone (no one i know local to me). I did however, attend the BBB by befrending other submissive girls and we all met up there. I know this doesn't answer your question, but instead of looking for a Domme, perhaps look for mates. Then you can all trot along to things together and meet others etc. Ann | ||
| 22 Jan 10, 10:21 PM Lady_Anna_Bradford UK(BD), 5 yrs   |
I echo Mistress Susannah and Lisal. Prodommes are a great way to scratch an itch or experience different activities or equipment, but aren't for everyone. If you desperately want to have a LTR you may feel empty and unfulfilled after a session with a PD however good she is. We prefer to fill in gaps rather than create gaping great chasms. The last poster is correct. Concentrate on making friends, by going to munches, and the rest should happen naturally. "If no sexual offence is being committed it seems very odd indeed that there should be an offence for having an image of something which was not an offence," Lord Wallace of Tankerness | ||
| 22 Jan 10, 10:37 PM thatboyspike UK(N), 2 yrs |
Thanks for replies. It seems my main concern of blurring the lines between play and a relationship is something to be considered. Still something to think about but I'm not sure it would "scratch the itch", it would probably make it a rash! | ||
| 22 Jan 10, 10:46 PM Lady_Anna_Bradford UK(BD), 5 yrs |
That is very true. It may satisfy the physical needs but make the emotional need even worse. Something else to consider is that if, as you say, you can barely pluck up the courage to go to a munch what makes you think you'll be able to go through the traumas of booking a session and then turning up? "If no sexual offence is being committed it seems very odd indeed that there should be an offence for having an image of something which was not an offence," Lord Wallace of Tankerness | ||
| 22 Jan 10, 10:52 PM Mistress_Susannah UK(SE), 6 yrs £ |
Absolutely true. A professional relationship is not a conventional route and maybe one that maybe right or wrong for you..... but it still requires you to give a little of yourself (particularly if you're looking for D/s play) and that may not be something you're ready for yet, in any environment, pro of lifestyle. The lines are blurry - but so long as you have an open and honest relationship with your Domme (pro or lifestyle) feelings should be catered for.
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| 22 Jan 10, 11:02 PM thatboyspike UK(N), 2 yrs |
It's more the being the "new boy" at school as such about walking into a munch alone that concerns me. A one to one would be fine. | ||
| 22 Jan 10, 11:07 PM Mistress_Susannah UK(SE), 6 yrs £ |
Think about all the good things about being the new boy/girl at school. In my case, I'd already learnt joined up handwriting and had tales of the city to impart. I'm sure you've got equally interesting things to bring to the table.
www.mistresssusannah.co.uk Edited 22 Jan 10, 11:19 PM by Mistress_Susannah | ||
| 22 Jan 10, 11:38 PM lisal 8 yrs |
I'm better one on one too but it's still pretty difficult actually walking in there (to the PD's place I mean) I think as we've said you've got to decide what you want out of it. If you can look on it as a way to get some experience and confidence then it may well be worth giving it a try. If you've got LTR up there in your brain as the main thing then probably not Maybe worth doing some research. Look on a few websites/read the words and then if you see someone you feel that you could connect with get in touch. As long as you remember that the lady's time is precious a short chat and/or email may give you an idea of whether or not this is someone you'd like to see in session and may point you on your road Once again - good luck!!
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