This post is on the Pro-Mistresses etc web board.
| Tue 19 Jan 10, 9:32 AM sardax UK, 6 yrs   |
I expect every pro-domme has had a scene that goes disastrously wrong once in their career and seriously makes her want to throw in the whole business afterwards. I'm wondering how one deals with that-just rest and work yourself back into it gradually or accept that what goes well far outnumbers the bad? Take time off? Or just dust it off, and accept that it "comes with the territory"? | ||
| 19 Jan 10, 9:36 AM roymondo UK(LN), 4 yrs |
Don't know except to say my domme and her partner suddenly stopped a year ago; no explanation, just stopped. Their website has noe died.  | ||
| 19 Jan 10, 9:38 AM Ms_Tytania_London 3 yrs |
Good question Mr S. i can't speak for others, but when I've decided to stop sessioning temporarily, or to slow down, it was a series of events, something that erodes your freshness over time. Never just the one big disastrous scene. I've had all sorts in session, although never, so far, anything so bad that made me want to run away screaming. And fingers crossed, I'll never see that. Pro-Domming's downsides are more like Chinese water torture: they trickle slowly till they make a dent and you need a to lie low for a while. But big drama/tragedy, no, not me at least. Behold my updated website , worms! | ||
| 19 Jan 10, 12:04 PM Lady_Anna_Bradford UK(BD), 5 yrs   |
I haven't had a distastrous scene and I haven't stopped since I started so can't share an experience that relates directly to that but I can agree with Ms Tytania. If you get a couple of sessions that don't quite work as well as you wished, or a run of numpty emails, or abusive phone calls you do wonder why you put yourself out there to be a target of hate and derision by fucktards and knobs. Then you remember that you love your work, you are well paid to do something you enjoy and most clients and subs are great people. "If no sexual offence is being committed it seems very odd indeed that there should be an offence for having an image of something which was not an offence," Lord Wallace of Tankerness | ||
| 19 Jan 10, 12:12 PM condemned UK(M), 11 yrs |
Every job has it's upsides and downsides. If you work dealing with the public you come across your share of knobheads,retards,abusive and sometimes violent people.But 90% are usually fine.Pro Domming is probably no different,as the replies here seem to verify. As in all jobs we have times we may want a change or become stale,but something has to put bread on the table so we usually carry on. | ||
| 21 Jan 10, 8:08 PM MissKimberley_1 NL, 2 yrs £ |
Yep, most are fine and as I enjoy what I do, I don't really feel like not being dominant anymore. I also find pro domming rewarding in both a physical, mental and financial way. I get to play with fun people and they pay me. Seems like a good deal.
For me it's not about putting bread on the table, I don't need the money as I have a 'normal' job too. So I pick and choose who I see and when. I never need to think 'oh I will just see this one because my electricity bill's due' even when I don't feel like it. Whenever I am tired, or fancy doing something else for a bit, or I'm just too busy with life, then it takes a backseat. I've always said that when I'm not having fun anymore, I'll stop. And I have stopped, for a few months sometimes, but I end up missing it. For me, life doesn't revolve about my work or being a PD, it is just a part of my life that I take or leave, as it suits me. | ||
| 1 Feb 10, 7:26 PM RebekkaRaynor UK(SW), 7 yrs £ |
I'm yet to have that scene, but suppose it may come one day! The worst that's ever happend was fainting (them, not me). I agree that if you work with the public, you stand the same chance of dealing with twats as would anyone in a different (public facing) industry. Though obviously we have the chance to vet them! Personally, I tend to use negative energy and influences as motivation, so if that ever happened, then I'd brush myself off, learn from it, and move on. _______________________ | ||
| 2 Feb 10, 12:41 AM longs_2_serve_BBW 2 yrs |
Surely you do it for the money. That's not a slur on you're chosen profession, but there is nothing personal or romantic about Pro Dommes. Like any professional surely its just a job. And we all get fed up at work sometimes and feel like just jacking it all in. I know i do. But we all have bills to pay. That's why i drive a truck, and you Pro Domme, it's just a way of making a living. Edited 2 Feb 10, 12:43 AM by longs_2_serve_BBW | ||
| 2 Feb 10, 9:56 AM Lady_Anna_Bradford UK(BD), 5 yrs |
It isn't as simple as that. I have done plenty of jobs so I speak from experience when I say this isn't the sort of job you can do when you're fed up of it. I know some do, subs have told me of PDs who are just simply going through the motions, and look bored and fed up, but they soon lose their client base to other, better, more enthusiastic PDs. I'm not trying to romanticise what we do, and I do see where you are coming from, but this is really intense one on one work. It's also an extremely lonely job where we don't have someone to natter to as we work. We also have to invest quite a lot of money in kit, as well as hell of a lot of energy into the sessions. We're all self-employed and for some of us this is our only income. We have the added stresses of being self-employed on top of the emotional drain and investment in our kit. You really can't do this if you are fed up and thinking of jacking it in. A lot of PDs talk about 'burn out'. It is when you wake up one day and you just know that you can't do it any more. You can't face more crazy calls, or idiotic emails, or timewasters, or clients who want to use you as their emotional crutch. When you only see the bad in what we do it is time to quit or take an extended break. To do this job well (well enough to continue earning from it) you *have* to visibly enjoy it. Not everyone says that about their job. "If no sexual offence is being committed it seems very odd indeed that there should be an offence for having an image of something which was not an offence," Lord Wallace of Tankerness | ||
| 2 Feb 10, 6:05 PM May_Thorn UK(BS), 6 yrs £ |
Succinctly put Anna. If you're not living on the edge....I can help. | ||
| 2 Feb 10, 6:19 PM Mistress_Susannah UK(SE), 7 yrs £ |
Agreed. An excellent post. I would add to it that I see pro Domming as a vocation. It's not "just a job" to me for the many reasons that Lady Anna has described. The amount of mental energy and the amount of yourself you have to give to such an intensely personal job makes it something almost impossible to just do on a whim and/or switch off from. Back to the OP, I've never had a disastrous session and because of my strict selection process, this is unlikely to happen. I've had a few that weren't so great - mainly when I was new to it all and my selection process wasn't as well defined, and I have had times where I've needed a break because I'm reaching burn out. Because of the nature of the job, it's good to keep a healthy balance. But I've never even considered giving up. |
