Age difference with a difference (52)

older sub <fem> younger Dom <male> can a largish age diff work?

as someone who has always dated older men I find this a bit hard to get my head around but I wonder if that's just habit.

what's your thoughts?

Guess it depends on just how strong and experienced they are.... Whether your just playing or looking for longer term !

The challenge is to be yourself, in a world that is trying to make you like everyone else......

So after just over 7 years I think it is working pretty dam well.

Age is just a number and all that stuff and after all ... He is a grumpy old git and I never got much past the mental age of 6 so it all evens out lol

"You and you alone make me feel that I am alive. Other men it is said have seen angels, but I have seen thee and thou art enough." ~ George Moore

Edited 13 Jan 10, 11:02 PM by Elohims_jay

He is 14 years younger than me. This makes him fitter, more energetic, more open-minded, more focused, more tenacious, more optimistic and, frankly, better looking than me. He also has many other inherent qualities that I'd be attracted to regardless of his age.

We want the people we're in relationships with to be attuned to us, to share similar ideals, goals and experiences. Sometimes, that's easier to find when you stay nearer your own age. But many people who would disdain a man 10 years younger would think nothing of being with a man 10 years older. Age is not a predictor of anything, including maturity and wisdom (just two of the many fine qualities my younger dom has in abundance.) I'm sure that most of the women reading this know what it's like to be thought of as less intelligent, competent and able-bodied due to a lack of a Y chromosome. If so, you know how fallacious that sort of assumption is. So why would it be fair or reasonable to make a similar assumption about a man, just because he lacks years?

I didn't join this site looking for a brother, a father or a banker. I joined it, at least in part, hoping to find a wonderful dominant man. And I did. To my discredit, I allowed his age to intimidate me at first and consequently wasted way too much of the time we could have been spending with each other. That was the only mistake in this relationship.

I hope some of the younger men (mine included *nudge nudge* Sir) will add their perspective to this thread. I think it's an excellent topic and a great chance to look our prejudices in the eye.

love the brave but avoid cowards, knowing the gratitude of cowards is small ~Praxilla of Sicyon

Edited 14 Jan 10, 12:39 AM by Thistle

Indeed..this is quite a topic, especially with the timing of only just having joined I C. My sub is over a dozen years older than I, but not once (truthfully) have I considered the difference anything but two different numbers. her strengths are her young approach to life, her tremendous physical fitness and her total conviction that life cannot be lived unless it's to the very end. I've joked with her that she won't retire, as her reason will be 'I have too much to learn to stop now'... Her grave stone will probably say 'I haven't time to do this, I've too much life to live'.

So, from our point of view, things are wonderful, but obviously, we're also mentally in tune, both have an eclectic range of interests and fields of knowledge--but that enhances our relationship, we can talk for hours!! I sincerely hope no-one allows the fact an older woman and younger man relationship (and that reason alone) should preclude a lasting and fulfilling one.

Suffering becomes beautiful when anyone bears great Calamities with cheerfulness, not through insensibility but through greatness of mind. Aristotle

Edited 21 Jan 10, 1:06 PM by Manteau

For my relations it was never a problem. At the moment we have an age difference of 21 years. Who cares?

see also anaiis ic site and die-erdbeerbowle.de (our adventures in the London and UK Fetish party scene)

Edited 20 Jan 10, 9:52 PM by FuerstvonBismarck

Hmm! After a 7 year Ds relationship thinking fun n frolics are the order of the day, I met someone who was way too young (in my book) but he was persistent and chased passionately shall we say. He wasn't into Ds as such but had read and seen things and had a latent interest. We talked, it clicked, it worked. I kept saying let's keep it as sex and casual and see others but 9 months later ... I'm 44, he's 21, now that's an age difference! It's about the people, not their age, honestly. Memo me if you want to chat.

Debs xx

"Woman in her greatest perfection was made to serve and obey man." John Knox

But, the amusing thing is, it developed into Daddy/girl dynamic, with Daddy being nearly 2 decades younger than his girl!

It does only work for me when it's casual, although the problem is entirely in my own attitude and feelings. I have the same problem with friends who are much younger. I go for a period of time unaware, enjoying the companionship, and then there will suddenly be something that highlights what is in fact a vast cultural difference, and being the eldest, I just feel like mother/protector/teacher/boss and the dynamic doesn't work.

For casual play, it's fine, it's role play and illusion and fun, and great. And lets face it, it's not hard to fancy the younger fitter hot guys I'm seriously jealous of those who can find 'the one' that works in a longterm relationship, you lucky ladies