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| Sun 10 Jan 10, 12:33 AM anncat UK(ST), 7 yrs   |
I was chatting to my Ex Master today.. we chat often and are friendly and honest.. Although its been 2 years since we split, he made the point that if we did meet we would fall back into our roles. That is Master and slave we would always feel that way if we met.
I was wondering how many people have difficulty separating their roles when the relationship is finished. I havent met my Ex Master since we split, but wonder if i could do the 'hi matey' thing with him... seeing as the only name i ever knew was Sir? i wonder how others have coped with the Ex's annx | |
| 10 Jan 10, 9:00 AM relaxed1 UK(BR), 6 yrs |
I wouldn't expect anything other than normal interaction with an ex if we met again. But then when I met my exes initially, it was always in vanilla circumstances, as potential friends, and then became D/s once we had got to know one another. Perhaps that is a factor to consider; if you have only ever been dom and sub, then it may feel different. "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking up at the stars" - Oscar Wilde | |
| 10 Jan 10, 9:46 AM littlenic 5 yrs |
I would think it's probably down to your own desire to change things. If you want to be able to meet an ex on a non-D/s basis it takes time and effort, to overcome those old patterns of behaviour. And some of that time and effort can be painful, if you're a bit reluctant to make those changes because of what it signifies. But ultimately, you can overcome. The "hi matey" thing, for example, can be tricky if you've always used other names - but again, you can get there, and it's all just about bedding in new habits over time, I think. Ultimately - if you want to remain friends, but not with any kind of D/s dynamic, I think it can be a hard road to follow, but one that can ultimately be worth all the effort and pain. It's not necessarily a straight path either, there can be potholes and detours to navigate. But the upside, of still having someone(s) you like very much in your life, whilst you both/all move on to other things as applicable, makes it definitely worth trying.
(Some habits take longer to break than others. Curtseying as I leave their living room, for example
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| 10 Jan 10, 11:16 AM jules9 UK(CH), 3 yrs    |
For me it takes a completely over the top effort, almost cartoonish in the levels of "hello matey", but even then, given some time, as soon as I start to feel relaxed I slip back into it. I'm sure given time, the more often we see each other, the easier it will become. XxX | |
| 10 Jan 10, 11:22 AM Hi5_littleone UK, 4 yrs |
I still have contact with an Ex, and we have met several times since we split - the split incidently was very amicable, each time we've met it has been lovely. He is always concerned for my well-being and has assured me that should I need Him, He would be there for me. He accepts and understands that I belong to someone else now, and is very conscious of that when we talk. I know others who have not been so lucky. | |
| 10 Jan 10, 11:26 AM Vamp_Mystik UK(WA), 3 yrs |
Interesting question... Luckily for me the only time I would be in danger of seeing my ex ( Alt ptnr ) would be in vanilla circumstances. I would certainly not deliberatly or by accident want to meet though.. Not ever.... ..............................
The challenge is to be yourself, in a world that is trying to make you like everyone else...... Edited 10 Jan 10, 11:27 AM by Vamp_Mystik | |
| 10 Jan 10, 11:35 AM silaster UK, 8 yrs |
I have met ex's and the relationship is different. If it wasn't I would feel in a time warp unable to move forward which would not be healthy. I have respect for ex's but there is a limit. I have never slipped into deferring to them when we met, believing the time for that is past. How complex if that deference was there and you met them when you were with your new Dom. A part of me thinks anyone who thinks a sub would slip into a previous mind set either thinks the sub is weak minded or has a large ego. | |
| 10 Jan 10, 11:37 AM silaster UK, 8 yrs |
Sorry about multiple posts folks. Use mobile web and there seems to have been an error. Have tried to delete them but they won't vanish. Will edit them instead.
Edited 10 Jan 10, 11:45 AM by silaster | |
| 10 Jan 10, 11:37 AM silaster UK, 8 yrs |
When I move I will get the net at home. Mobile web is so frustrating. With multiple posts and pages vanishing. Sorry everyone x Edited 10 Jan 10, 11:55 AM by silaster | |
| 10 Jan 10, 11:47 AM Thistle US, 4 yrs |
I've rarely lost contact with anyone I've been in a relationship with, so I've dealt with this more than once. For me, when it's over, it's over. This person is now just an acquaintance, or possibly a friend, but there is no lingering element of d/s whatsoever. love the brave but avoid cowards, knowing the gratitude of cowards is small ~Praxilla of Sicyon | |
| 10 Jan 10, 12:03 PM Souci_X UK(BA), 5 yrs |
I find it depends on the ex, on the split and on the type of relationship, I still talk to some of my ex's and still have a lot of respect for them, I would even say I am friends with one or two, but there are a hell of a lot that cause me to hide behind parked cars until they go away. As twue as words spoken under interrogation. |
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