24 Jan 10, 4:55 PM
Preceptor
2 yrs |
Adverse_Camber wrote:
Fascinator wrote:
As his submissive I am his, I deed him myself but I retain myself too, I have a resonsibility to both me and him to ensure I remain me and not get lost. I see Ds as a circle of balanced power, that power flows from one to the other seamlessly. The power flows from me to him back through me and back to him effortlessly by being open, honest and trusting, and should either of us stop being those things the power cannot flow and problems may occur. It is a constantly moving dynamic exchange that for us is fluid and living and lots of fun.
Does that make sense to anybody but me lol?
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Love this post, forgive me for snipping my favourite highlights.
I endorse every word that my delightful sub Fascinator says,adding that her masochism and my sadism balance beautifully.
What you say makes sense to me, because that is, I guess, my "ideal" and says better what I was trying to get at in OP.
Thank you x
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Ah,apologies for mixing this up.....I am more effective in person than with any kind of technology,including this.... Edited 24 Jan 10, 4:57 PM by Preceptor
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24 Jan 10, 5:29 PM
Fascinator
2 yrs |
Preceptor wrote:
Adverse_Camber wrote:
Fascinator wrote:
As his submissive I am his, I deed him myself but I retain myself too, I have a resonsibility to both me and him to ensure I remain me and not get lost. I see Ds as a circle of balanced power, that power flows from one to the other seamlessly. The power flows from me to him back through me and back to him effortlessly by being open, honest and trusting, and should either of us stop being those things the power cannot flow and problems may occur. It is a constantly moving dynamic exchange that for us is fluid and living and lots of fun.
Does that make sense to anybody but me lol?
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Love this post, forgive me for snipping my favourite highlights.
What you say makes sense to me, because that is, I guess, my "ideal" and says better what I was trying to get at in OP.
Thank you x
|
I endorse every word that my delightful sub Fascinator says,adding that her masochism and my sadism balance beautifully.
Ah,apologies for mixing this up.....I am more effective in person than with any kind of technology,including this....
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put in correct order for my wonderful non techno Master. Xxx |
24 Jan 10, 6:43 PM
Cinnamon_Tart
UK(S), 8 yrs
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A new Ds relationship (well, any new relationship frankly) is about getting to know one another.
It's knowledge gaining. Getting to know what drives, motivates, interests, amuses, pleases, annoys, irritates, saddens, triggers nasty memories etc etc etc....
So I think taking the time to gain knowledge of each other is important - and this is clearly an iterative process.
I think the dominant taking a leading role in establishing boundaries and the "how we will conduct this" is imperative also. Of course the submissive has to buy in, and be proactive in this. But this is surely where both decide what they deem to be a healthy relationship between them.
Honesty and openness about feelings and reactions on both sides matter hugely.
Ultimately, i think it comes down to the security and self esteem and self confidence of the two people concerned. Being comfortable in expressing issues and difficulties so they can be effectively dealt with, and not fester and result in overt insecure/parasitic behaviour.
Where i've seen this become an issue is always to do with manifestation of insecurities. And, strangely enough, given we're all human, it's just as likely to be on the part of the dominant as it is the submissive.  What we are today comes from our thoughts of yesterday, and our present thoughts build our life of tomorrow: our life is the creation of our mind. (Buddha)
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24 Jan 10, 6:47 PM
Kitty_with_Claws
UK, 3 yrs
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Adverse_Camber wrote:
Parasitic/Symbiotic?
What do you, D or s, feel would be good routes into ensuring that what develops does not become parasitic instead? This could be defined as a dynamic where one or the other is draining or leeching, instead of creating, potential electric energy.
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In my experience, successful routes towards a fully symbiotic relationship (whether involving BDSM or not) have always been based on equal and mutual respect and honest, kindly and direct communication.
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24 Jan 10, 7:23 PM
SinPar
US, 12 yrs
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Adverse_Camber wrote:
What do you, D or s, feel would be good routes into ensuring that what develops does not become parasitic instead? This could be defined as a dynamic where one or the other is draining or leeching, instead of creating, potential electric energy.
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I focus on the concept of synergy. We each are complete people as we enter the relationship and what we create together is more than either of us would have alone. I'm also not looking for excitement every moment. I really savor the quiet moments most.
SinPar
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The weak are the most treacherous of us all. They come to the strong and drain them. They are bottomless. They are insatiable. They are always parched and always bitter. They are everyone's concern, and like vampires they suck our life's blood. (Bette Davis)
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25 Jan 10, 9:21 AM
Preceptor
2 yrs |
Adverse_Camber wrote:
Parasitic/Symbiotic?
D/s could be defined as a redistribution of power, with the Dominant holding the majority/all of the power and the submissive giving all of it over. If the submissive has the confidence to not feel weakened by this "loss" and the Dominant has the strength of character not to abuse their control, both could be incredibly empowered and feed each other constantly and consistently, creating a symbiotic relationship.
What do you, D or s, feel would be good routes into ensuring that what develops does not become parasitic instead? This could be defined as a dynamic where one or the other is draining or leeching, instead of creating, potential electric energy.
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Preceptor and Fascinator have a symbiotic relationship and are gloriously happy with it. Edited 25 Jan 10, 9:22 AM by Preceptor
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