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Time for Aftercare (28)

This post is on the Pro-Mistresses etc web board.

13 Jan 10, 11:20 AM
Lady_Anna_Bradford
UK(BD), 5 yrs

Ms_Tytania_London wrote:

Lady_Anna_Bradford wrote:

I suppose it is like sex, most men see it as a physical release rather than a complex emotional catharsis. These men are often in emotional relationships with their wives and girlfriends and so all we deal with, and all they need us for, is their physical need and stress relief.

I agree with your whole reply, but I'd like to add here that I wasn't referring only to clients in professioanl sessions, but to men I play with privately, be them partners, play partners, or subs I meet at clubs or parties. So it's not only them "compartmentalizing" and scratching an itch, i think it's related to how men are socialized into feeling and acting. And I've used the verb "socialized into" deliberately in that statement, because I think it's got to do with the way we are taught from an early age, how males or females should "be."

Good point. Yes, when I have played privately the same thing. A hug, a thanks, and that's all they need.

And I think it is more to do with biological differences rather than socialisation.

"If no sexual offence is being committed it seems very odd indeed that there should be an offence for having an image of something which was not an offence," Lord Wallace of Tankerness
http://www.clips4sale.com/studio/26308 http://ladyannadominatrix.c4slive.com/ http://www.professionaldomination.co.uk

13 Jan 10, 11:37 AM
AstronautMikeDexter
UK(E), 2 yrs

the_unsub wrote:
Interesting, does anyone have any ideas why male subs don't seem to need aftercare?

The point was not that they don't need aftercare, but that the style of aftercare or post-processing is different. I'm with Ms_Tytania in that the differences are, in the main, likely to be ones of socialisation.

--- Ha!

13 Jan 10, 11:42 AM
Ms_Tytania_London
3 yrs

Lady_Anna_Bradford wrote:

And I think it is more to do with biological differences rather than socialisation.

Ah, the old nature vs. nurture/biology vs culture debate again. Hello, you've been missed!

Behold my updated website , worms!
Professional Domination UK Forum

13 Jan 10, 2:19 PM
Mistress_Susannah
UK(SE), 7 yrs
£

Danbuc wrote:

the_unsub wrote:
Interesting, does anyone have any ideas why male subs don't seem to need aftercare?

I think you're right. In my experience post session drops have been avoided for both me and the submissive by lots of contact. I don't mean blankets, chocolate and hugs.... I mean spending an amount of time with each other talking, chatting, eating, drinking - it kind of helps to ease out the high protocol that I so like and helps to re-establish the roles. That's why my comment about "5 hours down the pub" works, for some. It's that length of contact in a social situation that helps to really wind down after an intense session.

www.mistresssusannah.co.uk
www.professionaldomination.co.uk

22 Jan 10, 9:20 PM
Doghouse_Reilly
UK(MK), 6 yrs

The obvious reason why men don't seem to need all that after-care and so on is because men are brutes of testosterone, brawn and rape potential who have no feelings. I read it in the Gruniad so it must be true.

If you can keep your head while all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you, you might want to stop waving that axe around.

22 Jan 10, 9:41 PM
Mistress_Susannah
UK(SE), 7 yrs
£

Because we're like that, we had a little offshoot discussion:

http://www.professionaldomination.co.uk/upload/s...

www.mistresssusannah.co.uk
www.professionaldomination.co.uk

24 Jan 10, 7:00 PM
the_unsub
2 yrs

Doghouse_Reilly wrote:
The obvious reason why men don't seem to need all that after-care and so on is because men are brutes of testosterone, brawn and rape potential who have no feelings. I read it in the Gruniad so it must be true.

And now I'm developing the overwhelming urge to read the Independent

Try again. Fail again. Fail better. - Samuel Beckett

27 Jan 10, 1:52 PM
Sorceror
UK(HU), 9 yrs

Of course we're not.

But when I'm Domming I can certainly play it that way...

S.x.