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| relaxed1 |
on Tue 5 Jan 10, 8:25 PM to relaxed1's blog.
A recent thread set me thinking, not least of all about the lack of understanding of what co-dependency actually means. Perhaps that is behind some of the comments rejecting it as 'bollocks'.
I mean, it's not that complicated a concept, is well-documented and information is easy to find – if, that is, one realises that it is something that one does not understand.
I guess it's much the same as anything else; if one knows nothing about it then one doesn't know that there is something to know. But it is something with great relevance to D/s and warrants a little time devoted to understanding it, at least in general terms.
In principle, it is very simple: co-dependency is the need to relate to people who are in need – so something that is potentially likely to occur in a D/s relationship, from either the dom or sub side; a co-dependant dom may actively seek a sub whom he sees as needing care, or a sub may actively seek out a dom whom she perceives as needing her care (of course, I am using the presumption of a male dom and fem sub; it is equally applicable to either gender in either role).
There is no reason why this need be problematic. In some ways, this is the essence of many D/s relationships, and relationships in general. But if it becomes a driving force, or the reason behind a relationship, or the reason for it continuing beyond its natural end date, then it can be problematic.
Most important of all is to understand what it is, that it is not about dependency, and that it can be a malign force in a relationship.
| 5 Jan 10, 10:25 PM jules9 UK(CH), 2 yrs    |
I can relate to codependency, I like (probably need), to be needed. The times I struggle the most are when I feel helpless to help someone, it's an interesting way to look at things - I probably need more time to think this through!!! Thanks for an interesting post. XxX |
