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| mollie |
I find this time of year very odd, people talk incessantly of beginninge and endings , but for me it has often seemed a time of waiting.
30 years ago, I was waiting to be married. Christmas was over and all the wedding plans were made but I had to wait till the 12th
18 years ago I was waiting for my husband's funeral, he had died in the early hours of Christmas morning but because of the season his funeral could not be for 3 weeks.
Limbo, a funny old fashioned concept, neither heaven nor hell, a spirit unable to move on.
And this year I feel like that again. I woke up yesterday knowing that next year I will be 60. 15 months today I will be 60. I need to practice that. I can tell people I am 51,2,3,4 whatever, but I actually know that next year I will be 60. And at work I feel as if I am in limbo, because I feel I cannot go forward, who wants to take on someone of almost 60 when they can take on someone who is just over 20.
It makes it hard to be that positive ready for any new challenge Mollie that I have been since I started, an old part of me is fading away and I am not ready for that new part of my life.
I feel rather lost
Edited Sat 2 Jan 10, 12:47 PM by mollie
| 2 Jan 10, 12:47 PM kaoskitten 7 yrs |
hopefully when the new part arrives you will be, it is a strange time of the year this for a lot of people, bit like the moment just before you dip your toe in the water, do ya, don't ya kind of thing. x
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| 2 Jan 10, 3:32 PM FluffySub UK(NN), 6 yrs      |
I think we all go through phases like this. I turned 50 last year, I had a similar period of self-doubt. But 3 weeks ago I started a new job. They had just under 200 vacancies (of differing kinds) and 4500 applicants. I've just worked out I had a 1 in 225 chance of getting one of those jobs. Yet it seems my age wasn't important, my experience mattered more, as did my outlook on life and the fact that I've worked for only 3 organisations in 25ish years You've got another 6 working years ahead of you.... show them that. You're a great investment; an employee that will offer stability and experience - how many 20-somethings do you know who've stayed in the same job for 6+ years? It's taken me the last 8 months to realise that age really IS just a number. Don't let it hold you back. Wishing you a wonderful 2010 x
I'm a threadkiller, twisted threadkiller | |
| 2 Jan 10, 6:42 PM mollie UK(CR), 8 yrs |
thank you both for those very positive comments, very helpful. I shall register for a kickass class next week ! Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "Where have I gone wrong?"/ Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."" |
