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| Wed 30 Dec 09, 9:34 AM flamesdesire UK(OX), 4 yrs  |
Ok, I have some questions...... 1/ If you were mentoring a sub who wants to learn to Dommes/Top, would you use punishment as a learning tool? My answer - for me I don't think that would work, I am there to learn and want to learn and would rather be treated as an equal and corrected than as a sub and punished. 2/ Would you hand a cane to someone who has never used one and has huge reservations about using one, expecting them to use it on another sub? 3/ Do all Dominants use a cane, do all subs take a cane? jxx | ||||||
| 30 Dec 09, 9:39 AM MissP UK(EN), 8 yrs |
That would depend entirely on whether it was usually used in any form of training.
Yes, otherwise how are they going to learn! You hand a car over (supervised) to somebody who can't drive and has reservations about it, learning anything BDSMy isn't so different. Everybody has to start somewhere.
No and no.
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| 30 Dec 09, 9:41 AM LacednLicked UK(WA), 4 yrs  |
1- Punishment is surely that? a punishment for some misdemeanour not a learning tool or play? I may use active play as a mentoring tool but more likely I would use my boy as the beating post 2- Everyone has to start somewhere but not until they feel confident themselves in using it would I recommend any impliment. 3- I rarely use a cane, they just aren't my preferred impliment. I favour floggers and paddles. I have played with subs who have canes as a hard limit. Nothing is set in stone. | ||||||
| 30 Dec 09, 9:43 AM CPeccavi 4 yrs |
Um ........ some of us don't actually like paddles .... I think everyone should like everybody ..... Andy Warhol | ||||||
| 30 Dec 09, 9:44 AM flamesdesire UK(OX), 4 yrs |
Can you expand on that?
However, a cane is not an essential part of play for all is it?, So the learning Top does not necessarily need to learn how to use one.
No and no. [/quote] | ||||||
| 30 Dec 09, 9:55 AM subbietrouble 2 yrs |
It depends whether you had no practice of caning subs, or no practice with a cane at all. The usual way of practicing with a cane is to hit a pillow, and see how well you can control it. When the dents are appearing where you want them to, and you can line a second hit up with a previous dent, then I would say you are ready to use it on another sub. I would think it unsafe to cane a sub if you had never had this practice. trouble xxx | ||||||
| 30 Dec 09, 10:02 AM flamesdesire UK(OX), 4 yrs |
Yeah but I cant spank so have no chance with a cane. It is easy to hit a pillow, that I can do, confident even, but hitting a sub with a cane.......I don't think so. jxx | ||||||
| 30 Dec 09, 10:04 AM sara_y 3 yrs |
I suspect there is a background to these questions you are not giving us, but anyway from a sub perspective:
Depends what you mean by punishment and the dynamic/relationship between the mentee and mentor.
Well everyone has to start somewhere. I was once caned by a virgin caner who was quite nervous about it. For the very first time, he used a short, light cane and I was positioned lying down (rather than bent over) to make the aiming easier. I provided some feedback as to how things were going. (Yes, I know all this is topping from the bottom, so spank me). In later uses of the cane I obviously didn't play such a directive role.
Of course not. Some subs hate it and Doms have limits too. If you are aiming to get into the CP/schoolroom end of the scene then, obviously, you may be expected to use it. Personally speaking I love the cane: the rituals, the different sensations from light tapping to full out whacks, the marks... I would encourage you to give it a go. | ||||||
| 30 Dec 09, 10:08 AM MissP UK(EN), 8 yrs |
Errrr - if you usually used a cane as part of punishment and or training, then it would of course be acceptable to use one as a learning tool with that particular sub.
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| 30 Dec 09, 10:31 AM erus_boy_g UK(SK), 4 yrs |
1- Punishment is surely that? a punishment for some misdemeanour not a learning tool or play? I may use active play as a mentoring tool but more likely I would use my boy as the beating post 2- Everyone has to start somewhere but not until they feel confident themselves in using it would I recommend any impliment. 3- I rarely use a cane, they just aren't my preferred impliment. I favour floggers and paddles. I have played with subs who have canes as a hard limit. Nothing is set in stone. [/quote]
eeeeeeppppppppppp paddles, oh yes the beautiful Myla Awww and i would get the honour of being a beating post for mentoring a new Domme, Thank You Mistress. very happily Owned and Collared by Ms LacednLicked | ||||||
| 30 Dec 09, 10:34 AM subbietrouble 2 yrs |
It sounds to me like you can use a cane, but would rather not then - in which case that is up to you as the Top to decide - unless your Dom is ordering you to, in which case I might be asking some tricky questions about whether consent to inflict pain isn't as important as consent to receive pain. If you don't want to cane someone, then surely it is your right not to? trouble xxx
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