Shaven or not? (17)

It takes quite a long time.

OUCH

www.domin8x.co.uk

This didn't used to bother me, although it is starting to more and more.

OK, I know that IC is an adult sight, and many of us are pretty used to sharing pretty private stuff about ourselves. So telling someone I shave, or don't shave, in itself really isn't a bit issue.

But the fact that the other person thinks it important enough, and proper for them to know, during the first chat. Like it's a deal breaker or something.

Such questions during early stages of chatting are really starting to bother me. What happened to getting to know me as a person before learning my most intimate secrets.

Do you shave, do you like lingerie, do you like orgasm control, etc. From now on people, those are things you are going to have to get to know me better before I divulge.

Unless of course you find out through a blog or post on the subject <blush>

Does anyone else feel the same about personal questions during the first few chats? Or even requests to webcam or exchange pics.

Pen

You say Ouch like it's a bad word.

I feel exactly the same. I've not been on here much the past few months so I can't say it's been an issue on this site (although I've had quite a few of the borderline "kneel bitch" type of approaches that I've simply blocked). Elsewhere, though, the problem is much the same - often an initial approach doesn't even contain a phrase along the lines of "Hi, I really liked your profile", but just launches straight into a checklist of questions such as shaved/pierced/into x activity/where in Manchester do you live?

That last one I find even more intrusive. But even the ones asking me if I'm shaved or whatever are just rude. My view is if they can't be bothered to get to know me I certainly can't be bothered either and I just block them. Occasionally I reply along the lines of "if you're looking for a shaved sub into X in Y neighbourhood, try Z Escorts..." before blocking them.

Aut disce aut discede. Manet sors tertia caedi

I like your attitude.

Someone I've chatted too recently over the course of several emails asked for my opinion on the best way to approach someone on IC. He, by the way, did not ask if I was shaven or not. Here is he advice I gave him.

"Compliment them on something on their profile, and ask them about something else on their profile. This isn't a 'pick up tactic' that I use or anything. But I find it is the best way to get a conversation going. Also, those men that approach me in this way are most likely to get a good conversation started with me. Then, once you build up a bit of friendship and rapport, go for the more direct questions like - fancy a shag. LOL

So, much the same as in the vanilla world. Get to know them, become friends, find common interests, then think about the pull."

You say Ouch like it's a bad word.

"Fork handles?" "No, not 'fork handles' ... four candles."

Edited 11 Dec 10, 3:23 PM by Top_Class