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| relaxed1 |
on Thu 24 Dec 09, 8:26 PM to relaxed1's blog.
Well, that was how it felt. In the silence, she could hear her heart beating. Perhaps it was the anticipation of what might happen, perhaps fear of the unknown. Except none of this was unknown.
She was in her own home, in her comfort zone. That was the whole point. She was doing all this on her own terms. Everything was perfect, from her hair to her clothes, such as they were. She had agreed to meet here because she felt safe. She knew Him well. At least she had known Him well. Once upon a time.
But now they were virtual strangers. She had forgotten all about Him, they had lost touch, but she had felt the urge, the ache, the overwhelming desire. And so she had called Him. He was surprised, to put it mildly, and initially dismissive of her. He knew why they had parted and had no wish to repeat that. But she had implored him to listen – it didn't come easy to her. She hated the idea that she might be begging, at least not in that way.
So, not a creature was stirring. Nothing that she could hear, at least. The cold began to cut through her, the window was open – as He had instructed. The room was in darkness, save for a small candle burning, the faint light flickering as it fought against the cruel chill from the open window.
She wished that it was cosy and warm. Ho bloody ho. Fat chance. This was her home. It was meant to be where she felt safe. But she didn't.
The candle strained, spilling its sullen glimmer in a vain attempt to extinguish the darkness. It failed miserably. She stared wistfully at the pathetic glow, its half-heartedly desperate attempt to create more than the feeblest of shadows.
Where was He? She felt a shiver ripple through her body as she longed to close the window and wrap herself in the comforting warmth of her bed. She longed for the warmth, the comfort, the closeness, the intimacy of another human being. She felt the loneliness of solitude as much as she longed for the comfort of another.
He had promised to be here by now. Promised. The words seemed hollow now, as empty as she felt. Her stomach churned, the sickness of her solitude striking at the very core of her soul. He had promised to be here, to take her to places that she could only reach in her dreams. He had said, once, that he cared. She believed Him. So she waited, alone.
In the distance she heard the faint laughter of people leaving their friends. How she longed for the warmth of her friends. But she longed more for the warmth of Him, using her, His strength forcing her to His will, whatever it was.
The candle gave up the ghost, it's final sputtering attempt at illumination forlornly died.
She closed the window and climbed into bed, wrapping the duvet around her as she gently sobbed herself to sleep.
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
