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| LadyLibidienne |
on Mon 21 Dec 09, 2:06 AM to LadyLibidienne's blog.
Due to the break up of what i thought was a strong relationship I have ridden the roller coaster of emotions since September. There has been the hurt, the jealousy, the bewilderment, the anger, the despair and the denial. I went from loving him to hating him, not wanting to be anywhere where he was, not wanting to talk to him.
In the last few weeks I have been discovering my spiritual side making time for me and finding out things about myself that has been a voyage of discovery.
I have felt ill, stressed and finally realised that the negative emotions i had been feeling were eating me up and preventing me from moving on. On Thursday at our party I was totally knackered. I had been to Derby on Tuesday with a 4.30 am start had an abscess on my in my upper jaw was taking antibiotics and another early start on Thursday. I had then played with a couple of guys before mummifying 2 lovely people back to back and playing with them. When we had finished I had a lie down on one of the sofas. I don't know how it happened but I drifted off not into a sleep but more into a deep meditation.
When I surfaced again i felt totally different. I felt as if all the negative destructive emotions had just melted away. I felt at peace with myself and with him. Since then I have been feeling almost serene. I have this warm glow inside me and have begun to expand my psychic abilities. I have been using a crystal pendulum to do some dowsing for answers to some questions. The result and the way the pendulum acts has been fascinating.
I do not know exactly what the road ahead will lead to but I do know that I have some of the best friends anyone could have that I have met through this wonderful world of BDSM. thank you all for being there for me, for supporting me when I needed it, for loving me and bringing me through the last few months. I love you all very much and I look forward to the next year. Ann xxxxx
| 21 Dec 09, 7:36 AM slutling_angel 4 yrs |
Sending the warmest of hugs to you.
I am sorry to hear that you had a bad time of late. You truly are a wonderful lady inside and out. I can relate to a few parts that you have and are going through. It's a discovery of yourself and sometimes the pain is part of the healing process before you can find yourself and enjoy being and finding more about you. I am hoping to get home in the New Year and I do hope I get to see you.
Meantime take care XXXXX “It is always by way of pain one arrives at pleasure.” |
| 21 Dec 09, 8:59 AM MissTee 5 yrs |
My lovely Ann you already walk with a lovin spirit, it is no surprise that you have dug deeper, sadly the facts are most of us have visited the dark places of relationships, and found lifting our heads above the confusion and hurt, one of the hardest things to do, as ever you have been an amazing source of attitude and inspiration.
There are no easy answers to finding our way through the pain paths, most of us are lucky to survive with miinor cuts and burns to our emotional wells.
I hope you go from strength to strength and keep the lovely attitude you have to life. If you think I understand anything rest assured I understand being humane,it is an extension of my own humanity.
Loving life is easy loving another is bloody hard work, try not to make it so, thank you. |
| 21 Dec 09, 9:11 AM aka_kelly UK(YO), 2 yrs |
It sounds like you've been to hell and are starting to come through the other side,?Have a merry christmas and may next year bring you renewed happiness and restored faith in life 
Sometimes i'm kelly, sometimes i'm not, sometimes the difference is hard to spot! |
| 21 Dec 09, 10:52 AM Lj_switch UK, 3 yrs  |
I am so pleased that you are climbing back to happiness again. For totally different reasons I went through a very bad patch several years ago, and you certainly find out who your friends are. As a scientist and Engineer who nevertheless uses dowsing rods to find water pipes and electric cables (well, you try rationally explaing why it works!), I'd be interetsed to chat about your crystal.
and there is a New Year to look forward to xxx |
| 21 Dec 09, 2:41 PM LadyLibidienne UK(CB), 8 yrs |
Thank you for all your good wishes and more importantly for your love and support. There is a joke that goes "thank you for your support I will wear it constantly" I do wear your love and support constantly.
Life feels so good at the moment and I feel so good and serene. A very good friend told me today i have the most positive and cheerful attitude he has seen in me since my husband died. He says I have found myself and like me believes things happen for a reason. Life is wonderful xxxx "And the tigers come at night, with their voices soft as thunder " "A heart is not judged by how much it loves but by how much it is loved" Wizard of Oz to the Tinman You give little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet |
| 21 Dec 09, 5:12 PM rebel_angel UK(RM), 4 yrs   |
Keep it up my friend, as I've said before your journey will be a long one, however all your friends are here to guide you.
Life is a game, it just depends how you play it. |
| 21 Dec 09, 7:24 PM dickrigger UK(CB), 9 yrs |
Hi Ann Good to hear you are climbing back, looking forward to the Great Eascape Richard |
| 21 Dec 09, 7:40 PM MisterAndy UK(SS), 4 yrs |
Ann you are a very lovely and sweet lady. You deserve all the happiness in the world and I wish you a very happy Christmas and a prosperous and contented new year. Sadly I can't make the great escape but I look forward to seeing you again at the A & R parties again next year. Love and best wishes Andy xx Youth's a mask and it don't last. Live it long and live it fast.(The Killing of Georgie by Rod Stewart) |
