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| LittleMissEvil |
Over the weekend although being busy with things to do in the evenings I had a lot of time to think about the year that's past. The good bits, the bad bits, the bits you are proud of and the bits you feel somewhat ashamed of. Now in the whole Its been an ok year, nothing special but some of the highlights have been passing the year at university with everything that was happening at the time of my exams, then the trial even though the sentence was very disappointing to say the least.
Anyhow none of those things really bothered me, but I got to thinking about sex and relationships. Now in the past 12 months I have had a reasonable amount of sex, though never with the same person twice. The vast majority of it was done because I was lonely and wanted to feel wanted and important; and for a while you do. But then that passes and the need comes back, so the whole thing repeats itself. Now looking back at this I feel somewhat ashamed of doing this, and in all honesty I regret most of it.
Thinking about it, it's not really the best reason to be having sex with someone. I suppose it's possibly down to the fact it's been nearly 2 years since I had a proper relationship, and in those 2 years I have grown and developed as a person. In doing so my tastes have got to a point where at times it can seam a little disheartening in the amount of people you have to pick from who like similar things. You build up an idea of who the perfect person would be, and you know you can give or take certain things. But still you seam to look for something or someone and they don't appear to be out there.
Though I have come to realise over the past few days & weeks that maybe the best thing to do is to stop fucking about, literally, while you are waiting and try and find other ways to deal with the feelings of loneliness in a less destructive manner. Well that's just my idea anyhow, so I guess it's another New Year resolution to add to the gym.
| 15 Dec 09, 6:15 PM jen001 UK(HD), 8 yrs |
you will find someone eventually cos i think you are ace (and i dont like that many people tbh) j xx RIP KINKY in Leeds, you will be missed! |
| 15 Dec 09, 7:13 PM StanBWonderful UK(L), 6 yrs |
*hugs you* We've got a shiny new year ahead of us, we don't know what it's going to bring, all we can do is try to make each day a little better than the day before. See you soon I hope. Stan |
| 15 Dec 09, 10:34 PM Miss_Swoons UK(M), 4 yrs |
I concur with Jen, finding out who and what you want isn't easy, but you'll get there 'Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative' |
| 15 Dec 09, 11:32 PM LittleMissEvil UK(BR), 4 yrs |
I think it comes across as being a bit of a depresive post, but it wasn't ment to be was more aimed at a bit of self-realisation and that i know i have somthing i need to change which i will  It's in the water baby, it's in the pills that pick you up It's in the water baby, it's in the special way we fuck It's in the water baby, it's in your family tree It's in the water baby, it's between you and me - B.Molko |
