This post is on the D/s & M/s web board.
| Sat 5 Dec 09, 1:06 PM Adomination UK(M), 2 yrs   |
Well my playmate is cute, fulfils most of my needs and desires, but I am getting impatient with this. When in a nonsexual situation the rules are the same as far as I am concerned. I am still in charge. But talk about play up, I would ordinarily quell with a slap in the face , but I know this to be a limit (unfortunate, as it seems to me a distinct lack of them that has allowed this behaviour to continue) So what do I do, it is not an owned partner, and as always I am respectful of his deeper emotional states. Besides talking for hours debating this issue, is there something simple I can do to teach him to just accept his place dressed, as well as he does undressed and just step back down. Thanks x | |
| 5 Dec 09, 1:09 PM BarbieSlutLoki UK(E), 6 yrs |
So people even with a BDSM context like to challenge authority figures, perhaps they like to be put in their place ? But really shouldn't you just ask them why, they're guaranteed to know themselves better than anyone else The first rule of Brat Club, we don't talk about Brat Club... | |
| 5 Dec 09, 5:39 PM Adomination UK(M), 2 yrs |
lol, if only it were as straightforward as that. Have done, but I think said person wants me to read their mind instead. | |
| 5 Dec 09, 5:49 PM JudyInDsGuise UK(E), 9 yrs |
Yeah, don't let him dress until he's proved that he will behave properly. judy I must be only one in a million (© David Bowie) | |
| 5 Dec 09, 6:48 PM sodsta UK, 5 yrs |
You refer to this person as a "playmate", so I'm curious as to whether this is more of a "friends-with-benefits" situation as opposed to a more serious relationship. If so, then perhaps your playmate is viewing these play sessions in a different light to you. It's entirely possible this is a more casual thing for him, and therefore doesn't feel as if the D/s dynamic is still in place when not "in-scene". I have several friends with whom I play and during play our roles are very much understood and adhered to, but when the play is finished, we are both on equal footing as friends, with no D/s dynamic in place at all. Froufrou - kinky hand-made tutus. | |
| 5 Dec 09, 7:11 PM chartreuse UK(BA), 6 yrs  |
Simply effective!!
"Truth is stranger than fiction." | |
| 6 Dec 09, 3:33 PM lifeless_sacrifice US, 2 yrs |
I third the "don't let them dress" scenario! It's a shame you can't slap, because that seems like it would sort the problem out pretty swiftly, but is there any other physical punishment you can administer there? Pull their hair hard, put them against the wall and give a good spank? ~LIFELESS.~ The ones who transcend the flesh, yet still dwell within. | |
| 6 Dec 09, 6:41 PM dedicated_kitty UK(LN), 3 yrs |
I agree with sodsta, it sounds like they see a clear distinction between play time and non play time and that during the latter they are simply being themselves.
I can't see why this would take hours of debating? It sounds like you haven't brought this up with him so I think it is unfair for you to criticise him. I'm sure that explaining that you would like a different kind of behaviour after play to see if he is happy to do so is all you need to do to come to an agreement of what works for you both. He's not a mind reader, speak to him | |
| 6 Dec 09, 6:48 PM Painpet UK(CB), 3 yrs |
I can i'm sorry to say on occassion be very brattish, it's not intentional and it can sometimes come out if i've had a bad day, want attention but go about it in the wrong way or if i'm in a bit of a hell bent mood to cause mischief of the bad kind, just cus that's the mood i'm in at the time. I hate been that way and doing things that make me a brat but for me at the heart of it is wanting a little more attention from Sir. Some is just harmless playfullness on my part which if i'm not careful could be taken wrong but he knows me well and can tell the difference but I have on many occassions over stepped the mark. What he did was ignore me and for me that is the worse punishment for me and I hate it but it has made me learn my lesson, as I know if I push and push too much then he'll do the one thing I don't want him to do which is ignore me. It's hard to really give you advise on your situation as mines a different one that i'm in. I would say talk to him about it, tell him what you expect, set some ground rules and then if he over steps the mark he knows what to expect as it sounds like he may be just pushing you to see what you will do about it and what his bounderies are with you.
Good luck and hope you get it sorted with him soon |
