The need for a kinky singles forum (17)

If like me and you don't feel comfortable going up to complete strangers (especially those wielding floggers and canes), then you are ALWAYS going to struggle.

So a Forum like this is vital for the simple reason that you might just bump into someone who you know through this forum, so at least you've already broken the Ice.

As a suggestion... how about a system where you tell people your clubbing plans so people can look out for you, or is that a bit nerdy?

Isn't this already sort of in place through the forums for each event?

I'm planning to attend some events in the Birmingham area in the not too distant future. These will be the first BDSM events I have attended on my own and I can be quite shy in unfamiliar surroundings so it would be great to get to know a few people online first.

If anyone is in the same situation; or already attends clubs, munches, etc. and would like to meet up with me please send me a memo.

Thanks

steve

I actually see it as an advantage at times. I can talk to people and play who I want to play with.

I know a friend who when she plays at clubs, she has a menagerie of three subs (2 males, one female)and if she plays with one, she has to play with all 3, add one or two new subs each taking 15 minutes of her time, 1 hour dealing with her subs it can leave her drained.

There are times when I do see it as a disadvantage; for example if you don't want to play with someone who is persistent, you can't say "No my domme won't let me" or like you said when everyone's paired up, its a case of do you allow the disadvantages to overrule the advantages.

With munches and clubs, I've felt like I don't really fit in. I have friends who do make me feel welcome, but it's frustrating when you see couples happy and kissing and realise that you're just sitting there trying to find someone to play with. I'm shy when meeting new people and it's hard for me to approach someone and ask them if they'd play with me

For me, bdsm and sex overlap, which is a problem when in clubs. I'm not really a masochist and do not get off on someone flogging me or caning me. If I was on a St Andrew's Cross, I enjoy it more because I'm spread out and vulnerable and the dom can do anything to me, tease me and pleasure me until I'm a writhing and begging puddle. But of course, you can only go that far if you've got a partner. I've only met one other person who came to a club and said the same thing, and he had a partner already.

Everyone must have their idea of a perfect partner, and I know I certainly do, it's just a case of finding the right person, and even in an open community that is proving hard.

Perfect partner for my immediate happiness, maybe, but i'll change and she'll change and the world will change and I doubt she'd remain perfect too long. For me the need for a singles forum isn't just to pair me up so I can move on, it's to enrich my life as a single person. It's nice to see some others in the thread have a similar perspective.

Agreed!

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