Service in O&P (6)

O_and_P's profile . O_and_P's homepage . O_and_P group posts

Tanos
Posted by Tanos on Sat 28 Nov 09, 9:24 PM

Being served is one of the principal reasons why owners and dominants invest their time in establishing O&P relationships. Service is not limited to the stereotype of domestic work plus sexual use, but can also include companionship, acting as a social secretary, managing accounts, improving the house, and learning new skills. Service reinforces the difference in status between servant and master, and provides opportunities to overcome feelings of false entitlement and misplaced pride. And yet good service is also something to take pride in providing, and a submissive who serves well is someone to be proud of.

How do you see service in the relationship you're in or seeking?

Regards,

Tanos

Replies

28 Nov 09, 10:15 PM
x_flaire_x
UK(OX), 8 yrs

Tanos wrote:
How do you see service in the relationship you're in or seeking?

Service is my submission. If I was to come available again, I would only be interested in a gentleman who requires service above play.
My service encompasses many aspects. I am his housekeeper, his interior decorator, his accountant, his therapist, his consort in public, his plaything and now I'm his gardener too. I'm currently studying gardening so my service in this department isn't too reliant of me attacking the hazel tree with a pair of secateurs!
I run errands, I research and I make him laugh.
Service is about pleasing him, making his life elegant and worry-free. I hope he finds satisfaction in my efforts. I hope he knows that I serve him because of the man he is rather than just a mindless act of service.
I am honoured to be his servant and to serve him.
Dear Mister Tanos, thank you for the work regarding O&P. It has stimulated discussion and debate in our household and made us review much.
f x
Cookie Monster In Bondage!

29 Nov 09, 11:24 AM
relaxed1
UK(BR), 5 yrs
Y!
Given the multifarious nature of people's relationships with one another, I suspect that there are as many different takes on this as there are raindrops in a storm. But I think there should be a common thread to all D/s or M/s relationships: that the dominant partner should value the service of the submissive partner, never take submission for granted, and always strive to develop the relationship, and the submissive, as they do themselves. In principle it matters not what we call a particular relationship, it is a commitment of two people, one to another.
"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking up at the stars"

29 Nov 09, 12:13 PM
cinder
5 yrs
[
Without sounding like a stuck record service is something that is very important to us.
I thrive on making others feel good, with him being at the top of the pile. If I make him happy I am happy. He likes to be served (plus it is expected) and made to feel comfortable... and I thoroughly enjoy seeing the comfort/ relaxation/ contentment that comes from my actions. If I am pleasing him this gives me a glow knowing I am doing a good job.
For us, little things like sitting beside him in the bath, bringing him food and drink and then bathing him whilst he chills out and chats about his day is what Ds is about. It's not overt.
Just a simple hierarchy where I serve him.
It probably doesn't appear to be Ds to a lot of people as this is how many couples interact with each other, Ds or otherwise. The difference is that the roles and actions are never reversed. He is Boss and I do what he wants (eg I maybe in pain but I will still serve and be expected to do so).
N x

29 Nov 09, 12:38 PM
psycheee
UK(W), 3 yrs
our relationship isn't quite at this level, but if and when i were to find myself in an ownership situation, i would aspire to... well, everything. for service to inform everything and for everything to be service. (easier said than done i know lol)
as i see it, when you don't own yourself then everything that you might have done in service of your own needs is by default in service of theirs, as well as everything that is explicitly so.
so regular haircuts, cultivating self awareness, investing in good underwear, taking the time to relax, continually educating yourself, good oral hygiene, maintaining friendships and an active, varied lifestyle - all the things that make you an attractive and engaging person, and all informed by your owners expectations of course, and in harmony with his needs - would to me be as much in service of him as more directly relevant domestic and sexual duties, social secretary-ing etc.
the challenge, for me, would be to continuously monitor my own engagement in these activities and consistently, consciously, devote them to my owner. i suppose it's somewhere between living a life of dutiful religious reflection and a 1950's edition of good housekeeping
check out www.thenewtopical.com!
Edited 29 Nov 09, 1:09 PM by psycheee

29 Nov 09, 3:56 PM
socair
UK, 4 yrs

Tanos wrote:
How do you see service in the relationship you're in or seeking?
Regards,
Tanos
Service is a difficult topic for me to discuss and admit to wanting in a relationship. A year ago I'd have vigorously denied being service orientated, and not because that was true. The fear was rather that it could somehow, irrationally, make you less of a person to want such a thing. It has been so helpful to hear others talk openly about this subject here and elsewhere.
When service is not expected beyond the obvious I've felt rejected. When there is so much to give and someone you care for only wants a tiny bit of that it hurts. It's come as a surprise to feel so strongly about being useful to someone else, but in future relationships it will be a requirement because the alternative is too unhealthy. So how do I see service in a future relationship? Smack bang in the middle of it, as a necessary, central, component.
Service, as well as reinforcing roles, is a structured way for a submissive to have clearly defined purposes and achieve a sense of accomplishment via them, which is another positive.
On a more practical note life can be pretty hectic and it makes sense to divide up responsibilities in some way and get things done in a timely manner.
This group is turning into a part time confessional

"Nothing so conclusively proves a man's ability to lead others as what he does from day to day to lead himself".

29 Nov 09, 6:49 PM
Owned_by_De_Luxe
UK(SA), 2 yrs
The service aspect is at the heart of our relationship.
Once I signed up for this, it was established that everything I was - and could be capable of being - were from then on to be directed towards my lady's happiness. Right from making her smile, doing the washing up, keeping logs on the the fire, to more 'personal services' and even Rich Tea origami (don't ask).
A lot of the things I do for my lady are done without being asked. Not because I'm totally wonderful and selfless, but because it makes me feel good to do so. So yes, for me there's pride in good service too. Because a good service is reflected in my lady's well-being - and that is something to take pride in.
I wormed my way into the heart of the crowd / I was shocked to find what was allowed


	©1997-2010 Informed Consent

Standard version