Crips_Corner's profile . Crips_Corner group posts
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| Darkgirl |
Now, I've already mentioned that I'm newley 'Labeled' as 'Disabled'. I've had a lot to get used to since my last episode/attack which was about 2 month ago now, and I haven't changed since then for the better so I sort of think that this is now the next step which I now have to try and live round.
To explain more, I've had my partner and friends doing everything for me recently. They've been absolutly great and things in the flat have been improving tremendously. But in the meantime, I can't as a person just sit back and watch. I tried to do things like re-organising the flat and tidying up and I really let my anger fly at the slightest thing I wanted to do because....I just couldn't. I cried, threw things and really wanted to just scream and hit things. My normal ability of patience went out the window and snapped at everything that would and could go wrong.
I felt fucking useless to say the least.
I still eventually dusted myself off and kept trying to do as much as. Took a lot longer but eventually getting there.
Yesterday, (Thursday 26th) I had to get down to my docs to get the Swine Flu Vaccination done. Got to Eccles and while I was early went to the post office to post a letter then decided that as I had my rucksack (on my back) I would do a little shopping.
Now this is the first attempt for me to do shopping on my own with both crutches. I realised I couldn't carry a basket and couldn't use a trolly as it wouldn't carry my weight and I would be bent over it just to make it work :S
I asked a member of staff there and explained of my difficulty in working out how I could work round this. No problem explained the lady, she proceeded to show me the shop-mobile scooter....which then decided it wasn't going to work because the battery was flat. She then explained that they also had wheelchairs which I could wheel myself around with a basket on my lap. At first I was rather put off as I didn't want to be seen as 'compleatly imobile' or feel like I was giving people the wrong impression of 'me' or feel a fake but in order for me to do any shopping this really was the only option. I have to get used to it at some point as a wheelchair on order for me to use so I took a deep breath and took the plunge. Better learn now and get used to it I thought.
Well, I got in...the lady took care of my sticks by putting them behind the customer service desk and handed me a basket. I really felt bad about it....till I took the brakes off and started to move the wheels.
WOW!!! I could move far faster than my shuffling legs could, my arms weren't as sore as it was rather easy to move the wheels and I wasn't as much in pain. Overall, I rather enjoyed getting round the supermarket, reaching the bottom shelving better. Most of the things I needed were in easy reach. Got to the check-out and I was met by very pleasent people who asked me if I wanted help with my basket, they weren't even staff, just customers and I got talking to them, explaining that this was all new to me ect.
So, got the shopping out the way but realised I still had time so decided to get a sandwich & a drink from the cafe.
.....No way is that Cafe built for anyone with a wheelchair. Couldn't reach any of the refridgerator for a sandwich and only just managed to get a hot drink. had to gently push the tray along the rail to the cashier. Had to ask a customer to pick up a sandwich from the shelf (they were nice enough anyway) and the lady/cashier offered straight away to help me find somewere to sit and brought my tray over. Excelent....but I had to try work out how to get out of the cafe area as the tables were so close to each other I was scared of knocking something over or run over someones foot ect.
Just managed though.
So all in all, my expaeriences of the day were...
I'm not as negative of wheelchairs (for myself NOT of other people's).
People ARE willing to help more.
And staff at Morrisons arn't too bad either 
Managed to get to my docs to get me jab and then got home. I was exhausted.
As it is I now know that I CAN do things by myself like shopping for a 'few things' by wheelchair. But use the crutches to go places as long as I'm not in too much pain as they do limit my hands and arms use.
| 27 Nov 09, 2:11 PM Crips_Corner UK, 2 yrs |
It sounds like you had a positive experience on the whole. I think you need to learn spoon theory... http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYD... Now you understand spoon theory you'll understand when I say that cleaning and tidying for me uses up spoons faster than anything else. Now remember that the wheelchair saves you spoons, so does asking for help. I always think that people who help when you don't ask are really giving you a free spoon. Just remember, when the spoons run out for the day, that's it, unless you borrow from tomorrows spoons, so pace yourself. | |
| 27 Nov 09, 2:42 PM Darkgirl UK(M), 6 yrs |
Thank you for that!
I really like the 'Spoon Theory'. After the light of day, darkness comes and kneels to obey!! | |
| 27 Nov 09, 3:08 PM Der_Morgenstern UK(LA), 7 yrs |
I think it is a great way to describe something that you can't understand unless you experience it. I'm glad you like it. "We're all living in a freakshow Man, it's called life. Buy a ticket and enjoy the ride." Foamy The Squirrel | |
| 27 Nov 09, 11:09 PM relaxed1 UK(BR), 6 yrs  |
Thank you! At last a way of describing at least some of what I feel to others. I will never forget that I was by chance having lunch with my parents and my nephew's ex-girlfriend, who's been diagnosed with cancer. I was talking about how MS has taken away my freedom, my choices, and there was a sudden change in her, as she discovered that she had found someone else who understood what cancer meant to her. It was also a revelation to me, to find that only those who have had their choices curtailed can truly understand how it feels, that it's simply beyond the capabilities of anyone else, however well-meaning, however caring, to actually understand. Now life is much sweeter, because I know that people can't understand, because they have no framework for the concepts, but perhaps with 'spoon theory' I can give it to them. As for the wheelchair, I had my first outing in mine today - not a self-propelled one (I don't have the strength in my arms any more than my legs) but an 'attendant-propelled' one. I still felt a bit of a fraud, getting out of it and walking with my stick, but I know that the distance travelled and the speed with which we were able to cover it would have been impossible otherwise. So, another of my 'choices' has gone, but I have gained a new best friend - with wheels! "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking up at the stars" |
