Casual play (31)

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." ~Marilyn Monroe.

Go to an event. Your sitting at home method hasn't worked.

Why don't Mecca Bingo Halls face east?
Women wanted, preferably with their own Rohypnol.

Its a case of finding the right event though, I enjoy munches and the LAM on my own, but clubs not so much.

It is not a case of finding the lifestyle or the lifestyle finding you, but realising the lifestyle is within you and letting it out!

At the moment, I don't. I'm quite ok with play not in an ongoing relationship, but obviously prefer a complete relationship.

Bonus question: Would you go, or have you gone, so far as to have a one night stand with a vanilla person when you couldn't find a kinky person to have fun with?

Sometimes a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do! Most sensible days, I'm not too bothered about the one night stand kind of sex, but then there are those days when I feel like I want to fuck anything that doesn't run away fast enough... and if one of those days coincided with a woman approaching me, I'd probably eat her. I haven't yet had sex with a not-overtly-kinky woman, and I kinda suspect most women who're not uptight strictly vanilla probably have some dark desires I could bring to the surface with a little gentle probing. But I tend to believe vanillas are really repressed kink-freaks who're just in denial!

Right...given i've only actually put my foot into this scene of late, mine is more based on how I have felt for some time, and based on relationships/GF's rather than play partners.

For me it's always been hard to find someone willing to go as far as you would love them to. On another thread I mentioned that I generally take time given the subject more and more airing as dates go on. For me i've been lucky with a couple of girls who have allowed me to be almost all of (up till now) I wanted to do and be. Having said that it took a while to get there.

Most people we meet are going to be vanilla given we spend most of our natural life in vanilla society. So as such it makes it harder for us to find someone as we may start dating and find that the other person thinks kinky is dressing in an Ann Summers bra and knickers. However I have also noticed, and given the stats above, that certain tastes seem well populated, and others not so making for a slight unbalance, and also making it harder to find someone within the realms of the fetish society.

So this leads on to then the point of casual play. Given most people seem so far to indulge a bit in this, it does meen if your happy to partake, you generally will find something, if only to give that itch a scratch for that moment. For me, I prefer to play in private, and as such finding a suitable person will be very hard for me. Top this off that im a switch with a more sub side, im pretty much screwed heh heh!

So where from here. What angle do I take, and where do I look to find someone on the same page as me sexually (or maybe just on the page before, or better the next page on) ? Do I go on dating sites to find someone ? Do I advertise on Fetish sites etc ? Who knows. But whatever you do do you will still end up having to compramise slightly, as to hit the perfect match is like the lottery.

I havent had one night stands in my life. I love sex to much to just have a quick poke and leave. Thats just boring. I like to play, explore, tease and be teased. I love the buildup, the whole time and the after part where your sitting in blissful orgasmic heaven. One nighters are pretty much boile down to saying Hi, flirt, fuck, saying bye.

This for me applies to both vanilla and also the fetish lifestyle.

My 2pence worth.

As a pro domme AND a single person i can see both sides of this, in essence the main difference is play can be just a scene session - something to scratch that itch! it is so far away from a personal play session with a partner which is on a more intense level and of course would usually involve sex which (professional/ and or club) sessions dont! and not forgetting of course in a pro session its all about what the client wants, so any personal needs are never met! all my clients are married and if they didnt get their 'fix' would be very frustrated with only vanilla in their life, but finding the ONE person who can satisfy all your needs is the 'holy grail' of relationships, in an ideal world its what we all want but life isnt like a disney film, and its rarely 'happy ever after' but we all live in hope!

On a personal level - i get lots of casual play both professionally and at scene events, what i miss is intimacy and having someone who is interested in my needs for a change! Yes I get job satisfaction knowing my plaything is having fun, but its not the same as sexual fulfillment - oh yeah and shed loads of orgasms and sex (if i can remember what that is? - will have to buy a manual to remind me!)I will prob end up marrying my Hitachi Magic Wand, it never lets me down!

www.domin8x.co.uk

I try and wait until I am in a relationship or firm friendship. Unfortunately, this hasn't happened as yet. Parties/clubs don't really do it for me as I am a intimate person. However, I might be willing to give it a go with the right partner.

Bonus question: Would you go, or have you gone, so far as to have a one night stand with a vanilla person when you couldn't find a kinky person to have fun with?

No. I have never been confident or had the opportunity to get myself into this kind of situation. I still believe that I have to get to know the person before I would have any fun. To me- a long term friendship/compatibility is more important than a one night stand.

People are profoundly bad but irresistibly funny - Joe Orton

Edited 21 Mar 10, 11:40 PM by Ms_Tytania

"Fork handles?" "No, not 'fork handles' ... four candles."

Edited 11 Dec 10, 2:53 PM by Top_Class