Posted by hunny_Beez on Wed 5 May 04, 10:00 PM to hunny_Beez's blog.
well you can really tell i am imprisoned in a posh hotel while Master works cant you..two posts in one day lol.
This is a controversial subject that seems to be bantered about so much.
These are just my thoughts on the subject. How i see 24/7.
I split 24/7 up into two seperate catagories.
First is 24/7 but living apart. Many say that you can not do 24/7 and live apart but i feel that if the contact and mind set of the individuals involved is right ie at all times they feel the others presence, their daily actions take into account their role in the relationship then i can not see this type of relationship as anything but 24/7. maybe for the sake of labels (and i do hate labels) they could be seen as 24/7 long distance. Lets be honest if you are married and your partner works away for long periods of time you do not say you are a part time wife/husband, you do not stop being married when you are apart.
Then there is 24/7 living together. This is the area that i have most trouble with. So often i hear people saying that they live together but are not able to live 24/7 because they have children or jobs etc. If it is their decision only to bring the lifestyle into their relationship when they are alone than that is fine and their decision. but....you could see a but coming couldnt you. If you are raising a family or working outside the home are you not still the same person.
i have raised three children in a BDSM relationship. At no time did i ever think that my Master was not my Master, at no time did i change from being a submissive. I am submissive to only one person, the one that owns me. i am not submissive to my kids, my friends or my family. after saying that i still find myself doing all i can to please my parents and do as they would want me to.
Again this is my personal views, i do not see being a submissive as meaning I have to knee in my Masters presence. i do not see being a submissive as not wearing knickers. these things are just part of your life only if you choose to introduce them.When i was raising my children they did not hear me call their dad Master or Sir, i used His name, but that was the way He had wanted it. Did my kids think that our relationship was any different from their friends? i dont think so. they did see that their dad ruled the roost, that what he said went, and that i was placid and did all i could to please everyone and keep the house happy and in order.
In a chatroom some years ago when i was still with my childrens father, we were disscussing this subject, A couple who lived together but insisted that 24/7 was not viable as they had to work etc, put to me a scenario, that if the school phoned to say one of my kids was ill, that i would stop being submissive and act alone. As i had raised three children this scenario had happened on many occasions and on all of them as i put down the phone to the school i reached for it again to contact my Master. Contact depended on if He had a car phone, mobile or if i had to rely on land lines. in the early years when it was the land line, if i was not able to contact him straight away i would phone His father to collect my kid from school. this way i was not leaving the house without permission, and my child did not have to walk home. their grandad would drive them home. The couple in the chat room were appalled that i would not grab my coat and run to the school. they were unable to see that these sort of decisions were not mine to take at this time in my life. i made no decisions for myself. again the argument that in making the decision to phone my kids grandad was a decision is true, but i was putting the responsibility onto someone else.
I now live with Hive, i have called Hive Sir in front of my parents. they took it as slight sarcasm i think. If we have visitors Master may make a drink for them just as much as He would "ask" me to prepare one. I put ask in inverted commas, because in our relationship Master always asks me things in day to day life. his is because when it comes to our playtime and this may be any time we are alone and not just physical play or sex, the change in attitude is delicious. some may say that it is when this change in attitude happens that we become BDSM, i disagree, i am always Hives submissive, Hive is always my Master. In everything i do i look to Him for guidance.
Recently we have been doing up our garden, the first garden we have had since moving in together 3 and a half years ago. I love gardening, and i am so excited about it all. Master says its my place i can do as i wish, but every idea or thought i have i put past Master first. Master and i had dug up a border in a shady part of the garden, i went on the web to find suitable plants, we had a lovely trip to a big garden center where there was lots of choice and loads more ideas and advice. i had inmy mind what i wanted but it was not until Master and i had looked at all the plants and i had listened to what Master had liked that i started to put some plants together. every plant i picked up i asked what He thought and if it was the best looking one and if we needed two or three of them. it must be exhausting for Hive as i keep up the constant need for reassurance. is it lack of confidance? yes partly but also the need to know that my actions are pleasing Him. i live to please Him.
yes im in ramble mode...still in hotel, i do wish the
boy would come and do the room, i do so like watching
the young man get all flustered when they realise that
there is someone in the room while they are cleaning.
gosh is that a Domme streak in me 
.
ok back to 24/7. in my opinion i can not switch off being who i am, and i am a submissive. i do have a submissive personality, but i am now also able to think for myself and take control of situations if needed. This is all thanks to Hive and the way He has taught me and gently pushed me out into the world. As i went through my degree i found that when working in groups i found myself taking the lead. not because i put myself forward, but it was that i was the best person for the job. sounds dead big headed but the fact that i was older than most of the others gave me a maturity that helped to organise a group. i had also gained the respect of most on my course so this made them accept my leadership. but i was not a Dominant leader i was more an organisational leader. i saw the whole picture and was able to see how the group would work best. After saying that i constantly asked the group if what i had suggested was ok, if they agreed. so even in a leadership position i look for reasurance. lol
Its funny when i hear submissives talking of being trained, When i came to live with Hive i was in a very strange mind set. i had lived for years not being allowed to make any decisions, then i was forced through circumstances to take on so much responsabiltiy and make all the decisions not just for myself but for all my family. then i lived in a limbo for some years not knowing my role in life. so when i moved in with Hive i felt safe and loved, even though, because of life around us, we were swimming upstream in a river of tears. Being with Hive and the circumstances around us, i returned to the person i was for most of my life. i stopped making decisions, i started living only at Hives word. Hive did not want this, He wanted me to be a full rounded person, He wanted me to be confidant, to be able to think for myself and to make my own decisions.
so my training in the first years and still now in many ways, was almost the opposite of most other submissives. i was constantly made to make the decision on what i was going to wear. that is so hard when you are not used to it, on what to cook for a meal, on what i was going to do during the day. it was hard.
thanks for reading hunny
Edited Wed 5 May 04, 10:03 PM by hunny_Beez
