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IC : Web boards : Other BDSM : "leadership"
1 2 3 4 5 6

leadership (57)

This post is on the Other BDSM web board.

Tue 17 Nov 09, 8:52 PM
antinomy*
UK(W), 3 yrs
how does leadership relate to Dominance?

what are the qualities of good leadership?

are the qualities that make good leadership the same as the qualities of good Dominance?

from the outside, how can we tell the difference (if there is one) between leadership and Dominance?

and from the inside? how does leadership feel? does it feel the same or different to Dominance?

can some of the qualities of leadership inform and enhance submission? after all, there would seem to be a great many subs who have leadership roles outside their relationships. do they bring something unique with them?

check out www.thenewtopical.com!

Edited Tue 17 Nov 09, 10:20 PM by antinomy

17 Nov 09, 8:58 PM
BarbieSlutLoki
UK(E), 4 yrs
There are parallels in the nilla world, people mistake shouting a lot and being aggresive for leadership

It's the same in the BDSM world aggression!=dominance

You can have leaders that inspire people to greatness, but they don't have to be dominant to do so

The first rule of Brat Club, we don't talk about Brat Club...

17 Nov 09, 9:01 PM
jules9
UK(WA), 10 mths
If I do say so myself, I am a quite a good leader - I very naturally take that role within a group, it's a role I enjoy, am comfortable with, and based on all the feedback I've had, good at too.

I am however as far from being Dominant as you could possibly imagine. I can't think of anything I'd hate more when it came to a relationship than to be forced into that role!!!

17 Nov 09, 9:20 PM
furry_catgirl
UK(CT), 9 mths
Y!*
ohhh, such a yummy post....

leadership is not dominance. it is instinctively knowing what needs to be done to go in a direction. a good leader is a good problem solver. and a listener.

dominance is just a mechanism used to make people around you work in a direction.

sometimes dominance is needed to lead. but in both good leadership and dominance, care needs to be taken.

I would say a good 'domm/me' is more of a leader.

dominance on its own, without knowledge, or respect. is useless, the real world is full of it.

you can tell a 'dominant' from a 'leader'. The 'leader' knows they dominate for the sake of others. The 'dominator' just wants to dominate to make themselves more powerful.

but we are all learning, and we all sometimes need to learn, and bathe in both feelings.

I was/am a good leader, but crap at being dominant!, but I now have to be dominant in life to make stuff happen for those around me... (and for me as well.) that requirement on me puts my balance out, and drains me. I hate being dominant. and so I feel a need for submission more than I did before, to make me feel better ???

I never felt a need for submission when passively leading.

sane people call me furry catgirl.
my friends call me deb.
you're neither shithead......
:-)

Edited 17 Nov 09, 9:22 PM by furry_catgirl

17 Nov 09, 9:21 PM
SheilaBlyge
UK, 20 mths
I'd say;

You can be a leader and not necessarily dominant, but you can't be dominant and not be a leader.

I think.

17 Nov 09, 9:23 PM
Belasarius
UK(M), 6 yrs
Y!*
Leadership is the ability to inspire all others to achieve your aims. To give a group purpose and direction, often in unfavourable circumstances where the leader's ability to inspire others may require self sacrifice.

Leadership is much more than dominance.

Patience is bitter - but its fruit is sweet.
Follow me on twitter: @belasarius99

17 Nov 09, 9:27 PM
SheilaBlyge
UK, 20 mths
Belasarius wrote:
Leadership is the ability to inspire all others to achieve your aims. To give a group purpose and direction, often in unfavourable circumstances where the leader's ability to inspire others may require self sacrifice.

Leadership is much more than dominance.

I suspect that's where I'm going wrong. That description is precisely what I expect of a dominant. :(

17 Nov 09, 9:37 PM
Belasarius
UK(M), 6 yrs
Y!*
SheilaBlyge wrote:
Belasarius wrote:
Leadership is the ability to inspire all others to achieve your aims. To give a group purpose and direction, often in unfavourable circumstances where the leader's ability to inspire others may require self sacrifice.

Leadership is much more than dominance.

I suspect that's where I'm going wrong. That description is precisely what I expect of a dominant. :(

I think leadership is the exemplary subset of dominance: a bully can be dominant but is rarely a leader

I doubt many leaders would claim to be such.

Patience is bitter - but its fruit is sweet.
Follow me on twitter: @belasarius99

Edited 17 Nov 09, 9:39 PM by Belasarius

17 Nov 09, 9:55 PM
The_Perfect_Sadist
UK(PO), 2 yrs
Y!*
antinomy wrote:
leadership

how does leadership relate to Dominance?

As you'll probably know (judging by your question) leadership is one of the hottest topics in management science at the moment. It's been much studied and dissected and there are any number of courses offering to teach you to become a great leader.

What much of this current thinking has in common is that the most effective leaders are inclusive, democratic, lead from the front by example, are good at listening, good at taking advice, good at making the most of the talents of his/her subordinates.

You don't have to have a Master's inre management science to see that these qualities don't really sit well with the average Dom(me). To a large extent, I feel that the current popularity of good old fashioned Cap'n-Bligh style cruelty and tyranny are a reaction against this essentially wet, soft twenty first century, counselling-speak crap.

As a Dom, I try to be a BAD leader. I punish arbitrarily and for no reason other than whim, (obviously my punishments are both cruel and unusual, thus counter to the US Constitution) I'm lazy but expect rapt attention, I expect my subs to perform meaningless actions that I would never for one moment bother with and, best of all, they are totally expendable, while I am irreplaceable. :-)

There may be more than one way to skin a cat - but there is only one try per cat.

17 Nov 09, 10:09 PM
Jahc99
UK, 3 yrs
The_Perfect_Sadist wrote:

... one of the hottest topics in management science at the moment.

Now there's an oximoron to rival 'military intelligence'! Who managed to screw both the economy and the planet? And why is it there's always a whole new wad of buzzwords to learn, all of which add up to precisely dick?

Dominance and leadership. Hmmm.

You can lead in a dance, but only if you are dancing with your partner. Forget where they are, ignore their input, and you end up dancing on your own.

That all metaphors are imperfect is an old axiom, but I think I prefer that one!

Great idea for a thread, me thinks.

The antidote to whinge threads??

17 Nov 09, 11:31 PM
enquiring_eyes
UK, 8 mths

The_Perfect_Sadist wrote:
...What much of this current thinking has in common is that the most effective leaders are inclusive, democratic, lead from the front by example, are good at listening, good at taking advice, good at making the most of the talents of his/her subordinates.

You don't have to have a Master's inre management science to see that these qualities don't really sit well with the average Dom(me)....

I so nearly bit on this one! :)

Uxbridge dictionary: Irony = a Scot greeting a former US actor/president...

Subbies are always wrong... even when they are right :)

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