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| little_imp |
In the early hours of this morning, my husband had another convulsion and ended up in hospital again. He's due out later, I've just popped home to clean the blood off the sheets, make stew and whinge to IC in a truly pathetic manner.
I can't fucking believe this is happening again after at least five years of fit-free life. Looks like it's set to become a regular occurence, followed by the delightful 24-hour recovery period of him not knowing his own name, vomiting copiously and punching people in the face when they try and insert a canula.
Where this leaves me, and the pursuit of my own happiness and fulfillment, I really don't know. I could wait until this is all over - in another ten years perhaps - and explore my kinky side and sexuality then? Out of the 14 years we've been together, he had fits for 9 of those years. How can I put my life on hold until he stops being ill? He's diabetic - that's never going to go away. And how can I chase after any sort of desires of my own knowing he could fall ill and be in hospital at any moment? And who the fuck will want me while I'm all whiny and upset and worried, anyway?!
It's back into my cave for a bit for me, I think. I wonder if I can have my libido removed surgically? It would solve a lot of problems...
Edited to Add: I'm also a bit pissed off with him since he went out on saturday night and drank 9 pints and had 4 hours sleep, which I don't think particularly helped keep his blood sugar stable. So there's some additional lovely conflict there, ta very much dear husband. Grrr.
Edited Mon 16 Nov 09, 11:30 AM by little_imp
| 16 Nov 09, 10:51 AM missPowers UK(SE), 4 yrs |
I'm so sorry to hear you're both going through this again. It's horrendous and I know how much it affects both of you. Please give him my best wishes and remember to take some moments to be kind to yourself too...even if it is just to moan on here. I know you wont want to, but you know where i am if you need any practical help. Sending you both healing energy. Ness missP(redictably magical) | ||
| 16 Nov 09, 10:52 AM canupleaseme UK(S), 3 yrs |
Wow what a horrible situation x I don't really know what to say apart from maybe you need to look at this a bit differently... He could have a fit at any time and end up in hospital at any time that's true and its awful, the thing is you have to go out daily at some point and he could just as easily have a fit then as when you are doing something bondagy. You need to make time for you to help you stop being so anxious, this can't behelping you either and I imagine it feels really bloody depressing sometimes.
I am not sure if you have a bdsm thing with him ? or if this is something you don't discusss ? Either way could you not make a regular time for yourself even if its just once a month and have a friend keep an eye on him or family? You can then use it for whatever you fancy and have something planned to look forward to and get all excited about I hope it works out for you
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| 16 Nov 09, 12:08 PM Prunesquallor UK(RG), 7 yrs |
Did he have a fit or a bad hypo? It's not clear from your message. There are things that can be done about both these conditions, but as you pointed out, going out and boozing to excess is not a good idea for a diabetic. | ||
| 16 Nov 09, 12:48 PM Adverse_Camber UK, 3 yrs  |
Ah, sorry to read this...and it is NOT YOUR FAULT if he is not managing his condition effectively and maturely. Best of luck, A_C x "Show me what it's like to be the last one standing; Teach me wrong from right- I'll show you all I can be" | ||
| 16 Nov 09, 4:44 PM missPowers UK(SE), 4 yrs |
*shakes head* you'll sort 'is 'ed
missP(redictably magical) | ||
| 16 Nov 09, 5:20 PM little_imp UK(BN), 3 yrs  |
He had a fit caused (probably, although he was asleep so we can't be certain) by a bad hypo. Had investigations in the past for epilepsy, always came back clear. Never had confirmation as to why exactly these fits happen, or why he's so out of it for so long afterwards. His blood sugar was fine before he went to bed, on the high side of 'acceptable' so no-one can explain why it dropped so sharply in the night. Nevertheless, I doubt being on the piss and going short on sleep helped. And I'll be dragging him to every referral appointment and pointing this out. Loudly. Naughty Imp: "No, I won't!" Curious Imp: "What happens if I kick you?" Apologetic Imp: "Sorry, sorry, sorry, ow, it hurts!" | ||
| 16 Nov 09, 10:26 PM Sadistia UK(NG), 10 yrs |
So sorry to read this, it is a situation that raises so much adrenaline and emotion, by it's nature it is a loss of control. Thinking of you and hoping for the best in every way. | ||
| 27 Nov 09, 7:02 PM Prunesquallor UK(RG), 7 yrs |
You can have major muscular spasms during a bad hypo. He should know that many diabetics can drink, but not to excess. If they reach a certain level of drunkenness, their blood sugar can plummet. It sounds as though that's what happened. | ||
| 28 Nov 09, 5:21 AM little_imp UK(BN), 3 yrs |
It was definitely a good old fashioned seizure - with foaming at the mouth, screaming, biting of tongue, eyes rolled up in head, blue face and violent convulsions lasting 30 seconds - 1 minute. He's had them dozens of times in the past related to hypos; we're told if blood sugar drops low enough, blood pressure drops correspondingly and the body fits to raise it again. Unfortunately the explanation isn't so simple as a direct correlation between blood sugar dropping due to drinking. It was on the saturday night he was out on the piss, and his fit happened in the early hours of monday morning. My gut feeling is that the boozing and late night didn't help, but wasn't a direct cause - he's been out doing the same thing many a time with no fit, and he's fitted many times without any discernable cause/ any recent drinking or late night episodes. When it used to happen years ago, doctor's were at a loss as to how to explain it. My fear is that is will resume regularly, along with regular hypos, and there will be no explanation, no prevention suggestions offered from his medical team. However, he's got 2 medical appointments (one with the diabetic specialists, one with the neurological specialists) coming up in the next fortnight, which I'll be going along to with him in order to do Asking of Questions and Listening Carefully.
Naughty Imp: "No, I won't!" Curious Imp: "What happens if I kick you?" Apologetic Imp: "Sorry, sorry, sorry, ow, it hurts!" |
