Posted by Ms_Tytania on Sun 15 Nov 09, 11:19 AM to Ms_Tytania's blog.
| redgerbil wrote: I would have thought living in London you would have been overwhelmed by potential partners. Here in Norwich it is a much smaller pool to fish in.
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It's not the quantity that is the problem, but the quality of those "potentials", if you read my post right. Yes, London is full of men, and I'm well thankful for that, but most people who approach a woman here are just random predators. London is the place where one can do as they please and remain anonymous. It has it up side, s well as its downside.
Blogs here are full of stories telling the damage caused to women who were a bit too naive and trusting, or who were going through a low self-esteem phase and fell prey to the classic lothario who offers you the moon and the stars.
On the other hand, there are the blokes who went into a relationship with a woman because she was kind of "all right" and promised sex on a regular basis and clean socks. The result: she isn't kinky, we haven't had sex since 1998, she doesn't understand me, etc, etc...
So yes, there is quantity indeed! But one has to shift through a lot of shit to get to the ore. In the meantime, I've made a few friends, re-aquainted myself with scenes and activities I'd half forgotten, discovered new stuff... and that's priceless too.
| 15 Nov 09, 2:44 PM bohnanza UK(FK), 12 yrs   |
I would say the proportion of possibles to definitely nots is the same wherever you are. Somewhere like London will have loads more possible suitors, but equally they have a lot more prospects than just you. Science, the only religion that works even if you don't believe in it. | ||
| 15 Nov 09, 3:47 PM boiata UK, 10 yrs |
I can't help thinking that although you may have more chaff to sort through, you will end up with more wheat to garner.
Edited 15 Nov 09, 3:48 PM by boiata | ||
| 15 Nov 09, 4:32 PM tanken UK(NR), 2 yrs |
The other thing about London is that you have a greater variety of people to chose from as the labour market is the most diverse in the UK and attracts people who wouldn't consider living anywhere else.  "Red hair and black leather is my favourite colour scheme" - Richard Thompson | ||
| 16 Nov 09, 8:18 AM Ms_Tytania 6 yrs |
Hell yes, I hope nobody would date me because I'm the last woman on earth! "People are inherently evil, but very, very funny" - Joe Orton. | ||
| 16 Nov 09, 9:11 PM PlayerOfGames UK(E), 5 yrs |
This is why I usually only "approach" women I've known for some months rather than trying to pick someone up who I don't know. Unfortunately this means the prospective female pool is pretty much those people who know me from vanilla life - and they have probably already made a decision about me in their first five minutes. I'm not convinced that turning up to more munches would be much better.
What we need is some kind of Bowie fandom in London with social nights and everything like that | ||
| 16 Nov 09, 11:21 PM Ms_Tytania 6 yrs |
I think you are being overcautious. I, and most people (men and women) I think, are very happy to be approached by strangers, as long as they have manners, a good reason to approach that person in particular, and something to say. By *randoms* and *predators*, I mean people who send you a one liner, who have obviously no mental, emotional erotic, vital connection of any kin with the person they are approaching, but who will give it a go because the sheer number of approaches will bring some result, sometime. Those are easily sussed. If I, personally, am casting a wide net at the moment, and keeping my eyes peeled when I go to events (from munches to vanilla dos), is precisely because my next partner is going to be somebody I haven't met nor heard about yet. Like yours, probably. "People are inherently evil, but very, very funny" - Joe Orton. |
