Crips_Corner's profile . Crips_Corner group posts
Posted by Crips_Corner on Thu 12 Nov 09, 2:57 PM to the Crips_Corner group.
I'd like to thank @rodm99 for posting a link to a piece in the Times on Sex and Disability on the activism board.
| 12 Nov 09, 4:00 PM rodm99 UK(CB), 7 yrs  |
You're welcome! I've worked on Night of the Senses, which is one of TLC's fund-raising activities, which I guess is why it caught my eye.
(And if you were to add a comment to the actual post, that wd bump it and get it a bit more attention! eta - d'uh! you've done that! 'Twosies beats onesies, but nothing beats three...' Edited 12 Nov 09, 4:01 PM by rodm99 | |
| 12 Nov 09, 4:30 PM relaxed1 UK(BR), 6 yrs  |
A very interesting article, thanks for the link - although why it had to be in the 'Woman' section of the Times is anybody's guess. Perhaps it presumes (possibly with good cause) that me don't read such articles. Although disability is obviously a broad church, the problems of finding a partner are fairly common to all. I can understand, I suppose, that people are reluctant to get involved with a person who is less than 'perfect' - whatever that may mean - but setting unattainable expectations is a sign of immaturity. I realised long before the onset of my MS that the mind of a person is far more important than anything else; thankfully there are women who share that realisation. "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking up at the stars" | |
| 12 Nov 09, 6:13 PM Purvection UK(M), 8 yrs     |
That article made me cry. Despite having a disability, I'm very fortunate to be able-bodied and find and get together with someone if I choose to do so. It's easy for most people to forget that some really struggle to have intimate experiences. I was reading a forum (I think on Crip Cartoonist) about some really appalling experiences some teens had in residential care at a certain well-known charity where they'd been punished for necking other teen residents (but sexual abuse by the staff still goes unacknowledged). Care services really need to wake up and recognise that disabled people can be and are sexual. Aut disce aut discede. Manet sors tertia caedi | |
| 13 Nov 09, 2:44 PM purple_silk UK(CF), 3 yrs |
Nice to see that we are finally being recognised as sexual people. When I was pregnant I got so mant stares. And even now, people think my daughter must be my little sister and often talk to whoever is with me or pushing my daughhter in her pram, they tell THEM how beautiful she is or ask THEM what her name is. At which point I usually give them a little wave and tell them her name. The often seem embarrassed that they didnt even think that she could be mine. I also think that a lot of disabled people assume that they will never find a partner who will accept them. I purposly took the opposite attitude when I became sexual. I must say that I didnt find a problem with sexual partners. But I put that down to my sexual interests. I think disabled people who take part in BDSM are the most likely to be accepted. As we seem to accept people from all walks of life with open arms. One of the reasons I have such a passion for my sexual interests. It is almost my religion lol. | |
| 15 Nov 09, 2:52 PM clovertribe UK(SN), 3 yrs |
I have a mix of feelings about this topic. Mainly because I used to be very sexual, but as my disability worsens, it has become more difficult to have sexual relations with my partner. Sometimes I think it would be a benefit to be able to speak to a doctor or therapist in order to learn some things to make sex less painful or less of a sap on my energy. There are so many levels in everyone's unique situation that I'm sure some sort of medical support (if only informational) would be of use to some, but I also don't think that professionals are the only means to an end. I suppose it all comes down to each individual's choice. . .which should be able to be accommodated. clover
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| 15 Nov 09, 4:23 PM Der_Morgenstern UK(LA), 7 yrs |
Thanks for your input clovertribe, you make a very good point and your experience reinforces my thinking in some ways. One of the things that came out of the other thread http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/254905/ is that there seems to be some confusion around this issue. Some of it due to one fully able person with absolutely no understanding of the issues trying to hijack the thread to push her own agenda. Much of the rest of the confusion centered around the descriptions we use for prostitutes, the medical profession and many of the people involved in social care. In a couple of places I think the word professional was used to describe all three. With this in mind I think it is worth re-examining the part that the medical, and social care, services play and how sex workers could have a part in that. Lets face it, the NHS is the first place we go for medical information and quite often they advise disabled people, or their families, on the information they need to live their lives, so why shouldn't they research the issues surrounding disability and sex and advise the people who need to know of their findings? I also think that people working in social services should have some input as well. Quite often they will have a great deal of time in the company of the more seriously disabled, even acting as carers. For me the obvious upside in these two groups taking an interest is that they have the network to disseminate the information. Now obviously I am not saying that these two organisations should become the disabled sex police, they shouldn't decide who you fuck and in what position. I'm also not suggesting that they should become pimps either, but if they can make the information available to sex workers and perhaps take input from sexworkers who have had disabled people as clients I think it would be a step forward. "We're all living in a freakshow Man, it's called life. Buy a ticket and enjoy the ride." Foamy The Squirrel | |
| 15 Nov 09, 10:07 PM relaxed1 UK(BR), 6 yrs |
It's clear that if we want to have sexual relationships which, let's face it, aren't as straightforward as for most able bodied people, then we should be able to. Whether it's through advice or other forms of help, then we should have that available. They'll help us to get upstairs, so why not something to do when we get there? I agree though that there are plenty of people in BDSM circles who are much more accepting of 'differences'. Another few decades and perhaps the rest of the world will too. "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking up at the stars" | |
| 24 Nov 09, 6:11 PM clovertribe UK(SN), 3 yrs |
Cheers!!!! I'm upstairs now and darn, am I bored! clover |
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