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Subs - Do you see professional dominants? (65)

This post is on the Pro-Mistresses etc web board.

26 Nov 09, 12:23 PM
professional_BDSM
UK, 2 yrs
£

MrWeener wrote:

the_unsub wrote:
I'd say I'm in agreement with you guys. Personally I think I'd see it as a personal failure and an admission of defeat.

Of course one thing I've learned is to never say never but I just can see myself going to a professional.

Play partners, yes especially if a close friendship has formed. Professionals, no (No disrespect intended towards the pro dommes/doms/subs on this site).

Personally myself if i was seeing a Pro Domme it wouldnt feel real to me,i'd feel as though there only tolerating me for my money but have no real interest in me.

You may find this article interesting

Yes, but...do PDs enjoy their jobs?

Find something you love to do and you'll never have to work a day in your life. - Harvey Mackay

Edited 26 Nov 09, 12:24 PM by professional_BDSM

7 Dec 09, 8:46 PM
justme001
2 yrs

SheilaBlyge wrote:

the_unsub wrote:
I'm starting to see a more complete picture now of the methods, motivations and situations that lead subs to P.D.'s.

I can see that there are some situations which may require a P.D. such as needing submission but if one is involved with a vanilla partner. From what I understand this is the best way to safeguard against an emotional attachment (to avoid emotionally betraying ones partner).

Some people seem to visit a P.D. because they have no other option (e.g. unable to find casual play partners).

submissives choose to follow the path that will best bring about their happiness and this may or may not include visiting a professional dominant. We all have our own philosophy or our own method.

As someone new to submission I have to choose a philosophy to follow. The philosophy I'm following is that if I can't find submission with a partner, among friends (casual or regular play partners) then I don't deserve it.

Yes, I mostly agree with your conclusion there, although you missed out totally the option that I, and one or two others, put forward, which is that for some seeing a PD is just a leisure activity, like going to the cinema, or having ones' nails manicured. Self indulgent, exciting, and *ahem* costly to most of us, but simply a pastime.

The only thing that I would say is that your final sentence sounds a bit self deprecating... I'm not sure if you mean it to be. But 'deserve' is a harsh word to use - I just can't agree that you (or anyone) doesn't 'deserve' either play or a relationship.

Making the informed decision that the service a pro offers is not for you is a different thing altogether, and of course, making that decision is a healthy and respectable thing to do. Just not the bit about not deserving something.

Edited for sausage-finger syndrome!

i agree with SB to some extent but want to add the following. A sub such as myself, having spent years in a vanilla life does not have a network to fall back on and broaden experience. A ProDomme to us is an oasis in a desert. It quenches the thirst but we know it's no substitute for a can of Fosters. Having to pay for a session does not make me any more of a false sub than a Pro is a Domme. I just think if you're fortunate enough not to need a Pro, good on yeh, but don't knock those who do or Pros themselves. (this isnt meant to sound as hard as it may appear-sorry)

Should the rariety (right spelling?) of prosub web sites have any bearing on my search for a natural Domme?

11 Dec 09, 12:17 AM
slave_24
UK(BS), 4 yrs

I have had the experience of two Pro Dommes at once.I was there as so New Mistress could practice and other Mistress guiding her.Was happy to do it but was scared,one i found it hard to find location then must have jogged 2 miles up and down road looking for location.Kind of got cramp at certian point in session.It was a good session and i learned much too but i like intimacy on certian level,im sure you get that with time.but i was nervous as well as never played with other Mistress before.She was really good but i guess i settled down after it went to one Mistress.Who was also my friend.I know my Mistress used to be pro Domme and was trained and given advice from the Mistress who helped my friend.So i guess i got lucky but took me a long time to find my Mistress and it has been a challenge,which i like.best way i foind is to meet people in person,met my Mistress by just asking questions at a club.She gave me lots of positive advice about stuff and all happened from there really.Went slowly though but thats best way to do it,enjoy it all.

If there was something i really wanted to try and my Mistress gave me permission i would see a pro Domme but thats if my Mistress allowed me.

Were on an adventure hunting for treasure

11 Dec 09, 3:48 PM
KnightToDreams
UK(CW), 3 yrs

professional_BDSM wrote:

MrWeener wrote:

the_unsub wrote:
I'd say I'm in agreement with you guys. Personally I think I'd see it as a personal failure and an admission of defeat.

Of course one thing I've learned is to never say never but I just can see myself going to a professional.

Play partners, yes especially if a close friendship has formed. Professionals, no (No disrespect intended towards the pro dommes/doms/subs on this site).

Personally myself if i was seeing a Pro Domme it wouldnt feel real to me,i'd feel as though there only tolerating me for my money but have no real interest in me.

You may find this article interesting

Yes, but...do PDs enjoy their jobs?

thats a blanket statement - i could point you in the direction off a few that don't as with any occupation.

i can't think of anything to say here
so let pretend this says something really intelligent

12 Dec 09, 10:32 PM
bonnieboy
UK(CR), 2 yrs

Speaking for myself.Pro Doms are indeed very neccessary. As sometimes the yearning, the need and the frustration over comes me too much and as yet having not been introduced into the scene, so to speak, it's been the only sane solution to my plight. I have had one very fair beautiful Pro Dom, I adored her. Unfortunately she retired. If only I could find her equal without having to resort to fiscal arrangements to acertain my needs. But I guess a true Dom would use that to her own advantage causing me even greater frustration.

22 Dec 09, 1:21 PM
footman09
2 yrs

I have only paid one "pro dom" in my 18 happy years in the london bdsm scene. I have seen a lot of excellent pros in that time, largely retired now. However, I have seen a lot of problems too. In more recent years the net and clubs are swamped with incompetent amateurs and even fraudsters. Somebody should start a website to expose scammers and nasties. If you privately message me, I will give you the name of the one who injured me and has disappeared from the net and clubs since I exposed her. Happy Xmas 2009... On balance, paying women to do something to you is dangerous for many reasons. Play safe. It was a very poor decision for me. I did know that in advance. Zut alors...

22 Dec 09, 7:20 PM
KnightToDreams
UK(CW), 3 yrs

footman09 wrote:
I have only paid one "pro dom" in my 18 happy years in the london bdsm scene. I have seen a lot of excellent pros in that time, largely retired now. However, I have seen a lot of problems too. In more recent years the net and clubs are swamped with incompetent amateurs and even fraudsters. Somebody should start a website to expose scammers and nasties. If you privately message me, I will give you the name of the one who injured me and has disappeared from the net and clubs since I exposed her. Happy Xmas 2009... On balance, paying women to do something to you is dangerous for many reasons. Play safe. It was a very poor decision for me. I did know that in advance. Zut alors...

such a website will not stay up for very long as any pro that you say is dangerous or not good at what she does will complain and say that its liablous weather it is true or not.

i can't think of anything to say here
so let pretend this says something really intelligent

22 Dec 09, 7:32 PM
lisal
9 yrs

footman09 wrote:
Somebody should start a website to expose scammers and nasties.

Why not start one yourself if you think it's a good idea?

22 Dec 09, 8:41 PM
brizzlekink
UK(BS), 7 yrs

For me, my personal/emotional relationships don't necessarily have to be the same as my kinky ones - I tend to think I'm more likely to meet someone I emotionally connect with if the kink isn't a factor.

So I would definately be up for seeing a Pro but, as many others have said, its the cash issue. The first session you're basically making a £200 bet, as you have no idea if you're going to enjoy it and if it will be worth the cash. From a lot of responses on this thread, that bet seems like it could go either way?

22 Dec 09, 8:50 PM
lisal
9 yrs

welshinlondon wrote:
From a lot of responses on this thread, that bet seems like it could go either way?

Yes I think it can

Best suggestion is to do as much research as possible and have some conversation/email discussion with the lady you are thinking of seeing to find out if there is common ground/mutual interests

Good luck if you decide to go for it. I remember my first session (just about - it was that long ago); it was with a very well known PD indeed (I didn't know that at the time) and she gave me a fantastic experience and looked after a newbie very well

Edited 22 Dec 09, 8:51 PM by lisal

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