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Posted by ThedaVamp on Thu 5 Nov 09, 11:20 AM to ThedaVamp's blog.
Inspired by http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/254053/
The value of one's virginity? Personally I think it's an outdated masculine concept that has no place in my way of thinking. Virgins are seen valuable, 'shop soiled goods' aren't.
It doesn't have value. It's just a physical progression from not having sex, to actually having sex.
Driving lessons - I've never had one. I haven't made the leap from being a passenger, to having the wheel in my hands. I am a driving virgin. Does this have significance? Nope.
It's not imbued with any spiritual meaning, neither is losing one's virginity.
I'm aware that society, parents, friends, media etc etc all feed the myth that losing your virginity is a major thing, but they don't actually say why it's important. It just is.
Not a good enough reason to either keep it or lose it.
I didn't become a different person by having sex. My vagina was not a holy temple before it was christened by a cock, nor was I sanctified by the holy waters of cum from said cock. The world didn't end, my perspective didn't change, my skin didn't break out in sinful boils and I didn't feel like I'd actually 'lost' anything. I'd simply had sex. It was nice. It was different to masturbation.
I'm interested in hearing people's perceptions, thoughts, experiences - go for it!
| 5 Nov 09, 11:42 AM Mstrdav UK(B), 2 yrs |
In some parts of the world incurable STIs are at epidemic proportions and even in more developed lands herpes infection rates are as high as 30% of the population and HPV is even higher. So while I agree that virginity itself has little value, knowing that your potential partner, spouse or lover's sexual history is either very small or non-existent is a logical desirable trait no matter what myth is wrapped around it. | |
| 5 Nov 09, 11:47 AM Christma_sassy UK, 3 yrs |
I was the last girl in my class of girls to have sex. They were fed up of me, so one them invited me on holiday to her Nana's house Wales for a holiday with the full intention if finding me a man to have sex with me. I was 16. It was American Independence Day. I told her I liked men with blonde hair. He was 27. She literally found him in a pub. He obliged, told me he was engaged and afterwards and told me I was lying saying I was a virgin. Cried my eyes out. Poor Scarlet.
(º•.¸(¨*•.¸¸.•*¨)¸.•º) «.•°•. Scarlet .•°•.» (¸.•º(¸.•¨**¨•.¸)º•.¸) | |
| 5 Nov 09, 11:49 AM ThedaVamp UK, 6 yrs |
What the hell do STI's have to do with virginity? Condoms are a foregone conclusion innit. You have have herpes, crabs, aids, thrush, hepetitis, HPV, cystitis without ever having sex.
Perverted Pederast Puppetmistress Pimp Pandering to the Patriarchy... apparently | |
| 5 Nov 09, 12:11 PM Ms_Tytania 6 yrs |
In the old days, the excuse was that the man and head of the family wanted to know his children were his. These days, we mention STD, which, as Theda says, can be transmitted in may other ways than sexually. Imo, many men feel threatened by a sexual partner who may be more sexually knowledgeable than them. The old madonna/whore complex... "People are inherently evil, but very, very funny" - Joe Orton. Edited 5 Nov 09, 12:32 PM by Ms_Tytania | |
| 5 Nov 09, 12:58 PM HarmCandy UK, 3 yrs   |
Herpes has no visible symptoms for the majority of carriers. And for the most part, it's harmless. The medicine companies hyped it up in the 70's, which hasn't since died. [They did so to plug their own 'miracle cure' for it.] H
'It is the centaur! Chiron, halt! And let me speak with you. You taught and formed, with wisdom, strength and grace, the greatest heroes of a hero-race. In their noblest footsteps you have trod, and lived the hard life of a demigod.' Edited 5 Nov 09, 1:00 PM by HarmCandy | |
| 5 Nov 09, 1:16 PM ConsciousnessJunkie UK(N), 5 yrs |
In my opinion, being given someones virginity is something very special. You're saying "yes, you are the first person that I have felt this close to and ready to have this level of intimacy with". It's special, in my mind anyway. Unfortunatly my own losing wasn't anywhere near so special. However I consider myself very honoured to have been two guys firsts, and I've got to admit, that's pretty fucking cool (as well as a MASSIVE turn on for me). Personally now I'm a bit older I like to treat sex with respect and only do it with those I'm mad about. I'm sure in the future I'll still have odd nameless one nights stands which are meaningless, but it doesn't mean it's the way I would ideally like to be. You proberbly think this is all a load of pretentious bollocks to be honest, but hey, it's how I feel. | |
| 5 Nov 09, 1:23 PM Mstrdav UK(B), 2 yrs |
LOL Can of Worms anyone?
Ok one at a time. “What the hell do STI's have to do with virginity? Condoms are a foregone conclusion innit.” OP stated “nor was I sanctified by the holy waters of cum from said cock.” So no it obviously isn't obvious innit. “So would you be a virgin to your virgin partner too? or is it only ladies that are potential receptacles of horrible diseases? “ No and was not stating a personal preference for virgin's but was pointing out one of the possible benefits of seeking a Virgin partner. And although yes some STIs can be transmitted without sex, most of them are predominantly transmitted through sex and in some cases are only transmitted as a genital infection through sex. “Herpes has no visible symptoms for the majority of carriers. And for the most part, it's harmless.” Agreed, except that for most carriers they will have an outbreak shortly after becoming infected. But this does not really alter the point of my post that someone who is virgin is unlikely to be carrying the genital variety of any of these infections. | |
| 5 Nov 09, 1:32 PM ThedaVamp UK, 6 yrs |
Surely the thought of a virgin, two days before a coldsore makes an appearance (invisible and at it's most virrulent), putting their finger in their mouth and then touching their genitals with said finger isn't that difficult to imagine?
Perverted Pederast Puppetmistress Pimp Pandering to the Patriarchy... apparently | |
| 5 Nov 09, 1:34 PM Ms_Tytania 6 yrs |
And my point was that a preference for a virgin partner is more often than not a form of sexual anxiety. The risk of STD, like the risk of having bastard offspring in the old days, being just a smokescreen. "People are inherently evil, but very, very funny" - Joe Orton. | |
| 5 Nov 09, 1:34 PM ScarlettDeWinter UK(BS), 3 yrs |
Well, I put quite a big emotional focus on it, I'm not sure why, maybe it was an overhang from my deeply Catholic stage, but I waited until I was eighteen because I wanted it to matter. My theory on sex is that you shouldn't sleep with someone unless getting pregnant by them wouldn't be an utter disaster, admittedly if I got pregant at eighteen it would be a disaster, but I wouldn't have sex with someone unless I thought they'd hold my hand on the way to MSI. I don't think the sex itself changed me as a person, but I do think it was a big step because once you've done it once you're less likely to think twice before sleeping with someone else for the first time. I remember at school there was this huge thing about how sex made you "glow." It was supposed to give you bigger breasts and make your hair grow faster... Yeah, I'm still a little confused about how that would work but its a good indication of what an ivory tower my school was! All of us are in the gutter, but some of us are looking up at the stars. Oscar Wilde. |
