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Is it normal to be still virgin at 28 years old ? (98)

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This post is on the Other BDSM web board.

5 Nov 09, 9:55 PM
nickbrighton
4 yrs

totallycoverme wrote:

nickbrighton wrote:

And to quote the mighty Sparks, remember that for the majority of people sex is "a lot like playing the violin - you cannot start of and be a Yehudi Menuhin"

omg I thought I regognised that lyric! so does that mean that the song Ametre Hour is about sex (which the lyric "so choose your partner everyone" would make sense)

Kimono In My House....fooking good album

Fuckin' A m'dear, Fuckin' A. If you google something like 'Sparks amateur hour' I imagine you will see that it is very much about sex. But hey, as my signature says...

That's just like, my opinion, man.

5 Nov 09, 11:35 PM
Semblance
2 yrs

Belle_Presidente wrote:
You didn't and I never said you did! I was just being clear about the tone of my post.

You are being strangely defensive since my intention here was to debate, not to argue.

Semblance wrote:

Belle_Presidente wrote:
I'm paraphrasing, if it was a quote I would have actually quoted it.

I'm not attacking Ms Sodomitrix and I'm sure she will understand what I am saying and give her own reply.

Where did I say you were attacking her?

Tonight I asked my wife is she wanted icecream. She asked what flavour it was. I said vanilla. She said no, she would have half a melon. I asked her did she want it now? (because I wanted my icecream then, and wasn't sure if she meant that she wanted her melon at the same time or if she was just stating a preference rather than 'placing an order'). It seemed a simple enough question to me, asking for clarification, but she answered with 'if you want to do it now I'll have it now.'

So I 'think' she must have read reluctance in my question, whereas in fact I just wanted information; yes or no, rather than presuming she wanted it there and then.

Sometimes little questions can get confusing. For instance my first question was just because I couldn't see it and wondered if I'd missed it - because I thought it was a qoute, and couldn't find it when I looked back at the posts. I didn't think you were attacking her. But as you answered my post I thought perhaps that you thought I did imply that. I didn't imply that, and I didn't say that, I just asked where the qoute was from.

A long explanation! But its better to try to explain rather than allow our wires to be crossed, especially as its unintentional on my part.

5 Nov 09, 11:50 PM
little_belle
UK(E), 4 yrs

Heh, nice example!

I understand entirely and the bit about not attacking anyone was actually meant to clarify what I'd written and show the tone of my post. Backfire, eh?

The interweb is great for this. I misinterpret your tone, you misinterpret mine, let's call the whole thing off!

I hope your wife enjoyed her melon in the end

Semblance wrote:
Tonight I asked my wife is she wanted icecream. She asked what flavour it was. I said vanilla. She said no, she would have half a melon. I asked her did she want it now? (because I wanted my icecream then, and wasn't sure if she meant that she wanted her melon at the same time or if she was just stating a preference rather than 'placing an order'). It seemed a simple enough question to me, asking for clarification, but she answered with 'if you want to do it now I'll have it now.'

So I 'think' she must have read reluctance in my question, whereas in fact I just wanted information; yes or no, rather than presuming she wanted it there and then.

A long explanation! But its better to try to explain rather than allow our wires to be crossed, especially as its unintentional on my part.

Hewwo! I make nylon whips. Take a peek at my profile if you'd like to buy one.
*
Even people who don't need people need people around to know that they are the kind of people who don't need people.

Edited 5 Nov 09, 11:51 PM by little_belle

5 Nov 09, 11:59 PM
Semblance
2 yrs

Belle_Presidente wrote:
Heh, nice example!

I understand entirely and the bit about not attacking anyone was actually meant to clarify what I'd written and show the tone of my post. Backfire, eh?

The interweb is great for this. I misinterpret your tone, you misinterpret mine. Let's call the whole thing off!

I hope your wife enjoyed her melon in the end

Well...she did ask afterwards WAS THAT A WHOLE HALF???

By which I took her to be implying that she thought I'd given her a small portion...you see, I already knew I was on dodgy ground when I bought the icecream (she likes chocolate flavour)(but vanilla was half price and it was a really nice one, with bits of vanilla pod-dust in it) and I thought I'd make a bread and butter pudding, which she likes with custard (which I knew we had in) and which I like with vanilla iceream...

But my plans came to nothing, because she didn't want bread and butter pudding.

And then you and I nearly fell out!

What a hell of a day!

*smile*

But, we'll survive it, eh? And, at least we've both had sex.

I mean, not with each other, obviously -I'm not implying....ohh...ohhhh, hell!

6 Nov 09, 12:03 AM
Goldilocks
UK(SE), 5 yrs

subRaphy wrote:
Is it normal to be still virgin at 28 years old ?

I would like to do a survey.

In my country everyone laugh at the people who are still virgin after 20. Maybe here it's different?

Raphy,

I have not read through this entire thread. I do not know what others have said or what points have been made. I just wanted to say my opinion on this subject, hope it helps/has an effect and that is all.

As part of your survey:

No, I do not think it is "normal" to be a virgin at 28 years. It happens, sure. There are people even older than 28 who are virgins and people who are virgins their whole, long lives. That doesn't make it normal though. Normal, for me, is when a person loses their virginity in their teenage years, maybe early twenties. After all, the "average" age in this country is eighteen and I was nineteen when I lost my virginity this year.

However, even though I don't think it's "normal" (and normal is a subjective word in my opinion anyway; what is normal for one person won't be for another!) I do think it's totally acceptable, okay and 100% changable.

Just wait and do it when it feels right for you with the person you choose. Try not to let yourself be pressured into doing something you don't want to do otherwise you will live with regrets. Life is better without them.

I wish you all the best and being a virgin at 28 isn't a big deal. Some people might laugh at you but others won't. Stay a virgin as long as you want to not have sex. Also, you don't have to have a relationship to have sex although you might feel it's better to be in one and lose it to a long-term partner.

To Each Their Own.

xX Goldie Xx

6 Nov 09, 12:05 AM
totallycoverme
UK(M), 4 yrs

nickbrighton wrote:

totallycoverme wrote:

nickbrighton wrote:

And to quote the mighty Sparks, remember that for the majority of people sex is "a lot like playing the violin - you cannot start of and be a Yehudi Menuhin"

omg I thought I regognised that lyric! so does that mean that the song Ametre Hour is about sex (which the lyric "so choose your partner everyone" would make sense)

Kimono In My House....fooking good album

Fuckin' A m'dear, Fuckin' A. If you google something like 'Sparks amateur hour' I imagine you will see that it is very much about sex. But hey, as my signature says...

wow! not to hijack your thread Raphy dude (This Thread Ain't Big Enough For Both Of Us...just kidding lol)but that's so cool! A fellow Sparks Fan! Apparantly their song Mickey Mouse is actually about something darker than the cheerful lyrics suggest...I've heard all sorts of cool theories on this one lol (catchy song though lol)

fooking wicked falsetto voice from the lead singer too, would love to see them live but in his live performances i've heard (recordings) his voice tires too quick to do the songs justice

It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice xx

Edited 6 Nov 09, 12:09 AM by totallycoverme

6 Nov 09, 12:06 AM
the_unsub
2 yrs

Balone wrote:

MissFelicity wrote:

ThedaVamp wrote:
Raphy, if you want to lose your virginity - just do it. It's not that important.

I disagree. I think it's extremely important and in all honesty I'm slightly envious of his situation.

Important for who? Yourself? Females? Everyone? � Just wondering.

Personally, I don't think guys put as much importance on who they sleep with for the first time. I don't anyway�. In my experience, I don't see it as a thing to be cherished either. I'm just a bit worried its unhealthy not to fuck someone before you're middle-aged. It wasn't my plan to be potentially more sexually disciplined than most of the devout bible-bashers in the country. Then again I don't want a relationship and I'd rather not get cock rot from some drunken slag so better find me an escort service.

Gender stereotyping is an oversimplification. People are individuals and have different attitudes (Although certain attitudes may be more predominant in a particular gender, it does not apply in all cases)

I think it has more to emotional attitude to the act. I know I don't want to get wasted and have a fumbling one night stand or an NSA arrangement.

Call me old fashioned but I'd rather go on a few dates and then have sex if all goes well.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step - Confucius

6 Nov 09, 12:11 AM
a1frenchy
UK(BS), 4 yrs

Rapha�l,

If you feel that this situation has/will create some kind of psychological trauma, you shoud see a sexual therapist. Alternatively and if you are comfortable with the idea, there are other ways I don't think I need to explain (be safe!). In either case, do some research and pick a good one.

Also, it looks that you are associating a loving relationship with the sexual act. Obviously they are often linked but it seems to me that there are two separate issues here. There is also the fact that you are in a new country/language which does not help. Finally, I am reading on one of your other thread that you find sex disgusting. I would therefore go for the first option if I were you.

I think you should ignore the philo-metapho-existentialist references such as what is being normal, it will happen when it's meant to be, where the wind comes from lol, etc... It is obviously a problem that's doing your head in so you need to act upon it man.

On a more cheerful note, just forget about "The Game" and "The Mystery Method" and read instead this book from the internationally acclaimed Dr Alan Francis

Everything Men Know about Women

Good luck

subRaphy wrote:
Is it normal to be still virgin at 28 years old ?

Hi everyone,

I would like to do a survey. After my topic on "The Game", I'm amaze by the number of opinions and messages I received which say than it's normal to never got a relationship at 28 years old.

I wanted to tell in this topic than I have to do something, try to be very active for succeed to get a relationship, because so far, I was unable to got one. And then, I received a lot of advices than I have NOTHING to do, it's will come one day. I don't understand this kind of answers. You tell that to a teenager, not at someone who is reaching is 30's.

I agree with you, this method(the MM) is crap. But is that means there are nothing to do?

In my country everyone laugh at the people who are still virgin after 20. Maybe here it's different?

So I would like to know: Do you find it's normal than for someone at 28, he's still unable to make a relationship, and so there are nothing to do, just wait than one day he will meet someone else the penultimate day of his life before he die?

Raphy

Edited 6 Nov 09, 3:06 AM by a1frenchy