Is it normal to be still virgin at 28 years old ? (98)

I would like to do a survey. After my topic on "The Game", I'm amaze by the number of opinions and messages I received which say than it's normal to never got a relationship at 28 years old.

I wanted to tell in this topic than I have to do something, try to be very active for succeed to get a relationship, because so far, I was unable to got one. And then, I received a lot of advices than I have NOTHING to do, it's will come one day. I don't understand this kind of answers. You tell that to a teenager, not at someone who is reaching is 30's.

I agree with you, this method(the MM) is crap. But is that means there are nothing to do?

In my country everyone laugh at the people who are still virgin after 20. Maybe here it's different?

So I would like to know: Do you find it's normal than for someone at 28, he's still unable to make a relationship, and so there are nothing to do, just wait than one day he will meet someone else the penultimate day of his life before he die?

Raphy

But that is if the averages of Britain are to be believed.

It isn't unusual for people between the ages of 25 to 35 not to be in a relationship as many people have single parent families, debt problems (so cannot go out and meet people), or careers.

I feel that many people who are virgins are only looking for long term relationships, which is very hard to get, especially when it is with a first love. As many people are just looking for "a bit of fun".

x

Life is a game, it just depends how you play it.
They will not force us, They will stop degrading us, They will not control us, We will be victorious.

Do forgive me if I'm stating the obvious.

Very best of luck.

Ubi caritas et amor, Deus ibi est. http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/226772/

The first rule of Brat Club, we don't talk about Brat Club...

He had spent many years looking after his mother who was ill, so didn't go out and meet alot of people.

She died when he was in his later thirties, but it wasn't til he chilled out about the fact he was a virgin that he actually met someone, up until then he just seemed socially akward and just was taking things all abit too seriously which was putting women off.

Losing your virginity is not a competition, hell, theres some of us out there who wish we didn't rush into it so soon.

Stop seeing it as a problem and just work on yourself.

I can't believe I've no control
It's all deranged - Bowie
"Computer games don't affect kids. I mean if Pacman affected our generation, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching pills and listening to repetitive music."

There is a clue here. Wonderer pleased himself and went where HE wanted. Maybe you are not pleasing yourself but going where you THINK you will find a potential partner.

Let us say that you don't like frequenting pubs. No let us say you go to pubs thinking that that is where you will meet someone. Now you might, but are you likely to meet someone who doesn't like pubs?

Reverse this. Say you like going to a library. Now that is where you would stand a better chance of finding someone with similar interests.

No match making friends? Many friends spend all their time match making.

However, in terms of how to get into a serious relationship, hanging around waiting for the right person to come along is not the game-winner. You need to start socialising. As sad as it sounds, join your local community groups, drawing classes, poetry readings etc. You'll find it makes you a much more well-rounded, and thus more attractive, person, as well as giving you the opportunity to meet new people. You have to see it as a sort of statistics game, the more people you meet, the greater chance you have of finding somebody you are compatible with.

And above all, don;t fret about it. If you come across all nervy and intense, women are going to run a mile:D

Hope this helps

Josh

Agreed. If you're not the type to make the first move, that's cool. But you do need to keep placing yourself in a position where someone else might. No-one's going to break into your home to ask you out!

Snap. There may be 'normal' but outside of that are so many different possibilities. Do what's right for you when the moment presents itself.

And in fairness a lot of those who lose their virginity early often regret it later and perhaps wish they'd chosen or been able to wait a little longer.

One of God's own prototypes, a high powered mutant of some kind, never considered for mass production. Too weird to live, too rare to die.

Could not have put it better myself!

Why? I think lack of a social life - my job means that I work many evenings and weekends, I don't have colleagues to speak of, and every time I did socialise and have access to girls, I was only thinking about sex (which I had never even had, so didn't know what it was really like!), and no doubt they could spot this. So I wasn't very good at talking to girls, and felt very inhibited around them. (And I was even at a mixed secondary school!)

Indeed, I realise now that one girl did practically throw herself at me when I was 15, but I was totally unable to spot the signs: my reply was to invite her to my place for some Pictionary (she brought a friend with her: not sure about the meaning of that!).

Then, at the age of 27 (two years ago), I discovered the scene. Social events where people talk about all things kinky and sexual. Being able to play with people and explore my kinky desires without needing to be in a relationship. Although I was a "do-me" sub for a while, I managed to satisfy many of my needs at clubs, and as such, I was able to go to social events without constantly thinking about trying to find a partner, and as such, I managed to be far more relaxed and natural with people. I did have one or two dates with people on the scene, and although they did not become sexual, I felt I was starting to understand girls more.

My present relationship came about when I wasn't actively looking for one (but delighted I found one): she had arranged to meet somebody similarly shy, and I joined in their conversation. Later, the two of us arranged to do some blindfolding outdoors together (something I had longed to do for ages), and over a few meetings, we did one kinky thing after another, leading eventually to straight sex, and loss of virginity.

And while I now much enjoy sex, it took me a long time to get the hang of it: I had to overcome a good many inhibitions I had built up about touching girls intimately, and it took a certain patience on the part of my partner. But with tenacity, we got there.

In a way, I'm glad I discovered kink before sex, and only had sex at the "right time": if I had thrown myself in the deep end with sex as a teenager, I might have given up the whole thing there and then, and been even more convinced I would never do it. A bit of maturity has since taught me that it takes time to get good at something, and not to give up early.

But it's more fun being a girl!

Edited 4 Nov 09, 9:41 AM by feetintrouble_jemima