Posted by Sunhillow
on Tue 3 Nov 09, 11:46 AM to Sunhillow's blog.
Tons spelt backwards = 
I'm seriously fed up with it now; thank goodness for Lemsip, Benylin, honey, lemon, brandy & ultrabalm tissues.
And I've gone and passed it on to J, for which I'm sure he's really thanking me this morning whilst he's at work!
Still, it's been a good excuse to slob out with the laptop catching up on TV I'd missed. One such show was the first episode of 'The Restaurant'. OMG!! 
If you don't like it or didn't see it then you missed some serious knife play!
All of the couples taking part in this series seem to have been chosen for their extreme stupidity, self-delusion and inability to produce anything remotely edible.
One couple in this unpromising bunch was a posh, bling-laden mother & daughter combo whose creative 'vision' for their restaurant was based on the bygone era of British Colonialism 
They'd decided on the name 'Mama Ba Ba', which alternately conjoured up images of nubile, bare-chested, black male slaves as waiters and elephants.
It was clear that neither of them had ever been near a kitchen in their lives; being more the sort who would eat in Raymond Blanc's restaurants, rather than cook for him.
The first test was for each couple to produce their signature dish in one hour. Mummy & daughter, both dressed like they were on their way to the Ritz for lunch, chose to make an exotic fruit salad with coconut mousse. This involved breaking into a coconut.
I watched with total incredulity & horror as the daughter placed the coconut on the work surface, then, holding the blade of the biggest, sharpest kitchen knife she could find on top of the coconut with her perfectly manicured fingers, attempted to whack the top of the blade of the knife with a rolling pin!!!
However the recalcitrant coconut was having none of it.
So she tried a slightly different approach. This time with her immaculate mother holding the coconut steady, she placed the point of the knife on the tough, hairy devil & tried whacking the end of the knife handle.
It was one of those 'I can't watch this but I can't stop watching' moments.
Eventually she resorted to just beating the nut with the rolling pin and if finally succumbed.
Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, she moved on to trying to open a tin of evaporated milk with the point of the same knife!!!
At this point Monsieur Blanc, having been warned by his female sidekick of the impending blood-bath in his kitchen, stepped in & opened it with tin opener; telling the young lady that her knife skills were sadly lacking and she was in danger of serious injury. No shit Mr White!!!!
Unsurprisingly their coconut mousse was a disaaaaaster dharling, but they were the first couple in the history of the prog to be kicked out on the spot for their spectacular stupidity & being in real danger of self-mutilation.
| 3 Nov 09, 3:55 PM MisterBear UK(WA), 8 yrs   |
If only it suggested images of nubile, bare-chested, black male slaves. I ended up with the image of something to do with sheep or being on the receiving end of a bowl cut from the mother, and after reading further, it turns out she was doing it with a kitchen knife and rolling pin. | |||
| 3 Nov 09, 4:23 PM Sunhillow 7 yrs |
Lol, yeah it's a wonder I didn't have nightmares! It was truly one of the most cringworthy things I've seen on TV.
~ If you must pick the lesser of two evils; choose the one you've never tried before. ~ | |||
| 3 Nov 09, 4:37 PM MisterBear UK(WA), 8 yrs |
Which is one of the reasons I don't do reality TV. Idiots shouldn't be given attention. Edited 4 Nov 09, 7:28 AM by MisterBear | |||
| 3 Nov 09, 6:58 PM jules9 UK(CH), 3 yrs    |
LMFAO - You write SOOOO well. I have literally cried and choked with laughter as I read this - thank you soooo much, I really needed that!!! | |||
| 4 Nov 09, 8:43 AM Sunhillow 7 yrs |
Thanks jules9
~ If you must pick the lesser of two evils; choose the one you've never tried before. ~ |
glad you enjoyed it. If you didn't see the prog I highly recommend iPlayering it, though you might have to watch the knife scene from behind a cushion!