Posted by Skyhook
on Wed 28 Oct 09, 1:02 AM to Skyhook's blog.
I don't consider myself, by nature, to be a very moral man.
No, that isn't quite right. I consider myself to have strong morals in matters directly relating to me; my conduct with others, people I love, people I care about. Kinda insular in other words. The world at large – the horrors, the wars, the famines, poverty, not so much passed me by, more that I had no capacity to care; the world and what human does to human was too absurd to care about. It's a poor joke.
Was too absurd, not is.
Yesterday I had a new project handed over to me and the team I'm in. It's a test machine, I don't want to say too much here, but it's testing sizeable munitions shells. First they are put under an internal pressure of over 400 bar, then moved to a leak test. Serious figures.
We, I, have to spec this right; it's dangerous, the risk assessment must be thorough, the guarding must be proved to cope with a catastrophic part failure under test.
After all, we wouldn't want anyone to be hurt by a munitions shell, would we?
An absurdity.
Normally I won't care, but it hit me tonight while bouncing my five week old daughter on my knee. These things are designed to destroy. Property, people, lives, to tear families apart. To make hurt that will last generations – and yet here am I researching CE markings and risk assessment for military applications. Wouldn't want an operator to get hurt would we?
Why do I care now? A short time ago if someone collapsed in the street I'd be first on the scene – not because I care, more that I'd want to go through his pockets. Chortle. War was good tellie. I believe in self-defence. I believe violence is sometimes necessary.
But the randomness of war – that suddenly offends me.
Someone a lot cleverer and mentally cuter than me once suggested war should be outlawed for anyone under the age of 70. I think that is excellent. The older you get the more you value life and the more you realise you have to live for, the more you have to fit in to the rest of your life. 70 year olds called the battlefield would say “bugger this for a game of soldiers”. Literally.
I'd go further. In fact I will, when I rule the world. I shall call Gordon Brown (for examples sake) and the leader of Madeupistan to my office. I shall make this clear. I shall explain, give figures based on historical examples of the deaths each side can expect through conflict. I shall also explain the financial cost of rebuilding the wrecked country.
Then I, Skyhook, Leader of the World will say how it is going to be.
Instead of war, each leader will go back to their own country. They will explain to the populace that in war, xxxx amount of casualties are estimated. But, instead of all that random prolonged nasty war business, each country will hold a lottery and execute it's own nationals to the requisite estimated casualty count.
First country to give in loses. If the P.M. isn't lynched first.
I feel this would advance the science of international diplomacy no end.
**
I presented my Grand Plan at work, this afternoon tea break. Unfortunately that's the problem with working with Engineers – one pointed out that the instead-of-war-execute-your-own idea had already been done by Star Trek. Bollocks.
Never deterred, I thought again. Gawddamn it, I've got it this time.
How to settle war.
Two countries have a frank exchange of views, followed by a fracas and mucho loss of young life on primetime T.V.
Not any more. I propose in future, in times of conflict, we settle our international differences by making our leaders have a cage fight.
Oh yes. Imagine Gordon Brown and whoever, locked – welded indeed – into a cage. A fight to unconsciousness, or at least until one 'taps out'.
Put your own money where your mouth is, leaders of the world.
| 28 Oct 09, 1:30 AM Souci_X UK(BA), 5 yrs  |
They could just play a game of Risk, be a lot easier, and keep the little tinkers hands and minds occupied for a while  As twue as words spoken under interrogation. |
| 28 Oct 09, 11:15 AM Prunesquallor UK(RG), 7 yrs |
It was done long before Startrek was even thought of. There was a science fiction story published in the forties or early fifties, which had a style of warfare involving two armies rushing together and on the front line committing mass suicide. |
| 28 Oct 09, 8:28 PM Unbeaten UK, 5 yrs |
Splendid I do hope a few members of the cabinet who are also IC member read this and take your thoughts back to Gordon... |
| 11 Nov 09, 5:51 PM stormywaters PT, 4 yrs |
Right behind you. I want to be a bit of a meamie and enquire how you are going to handle your personal dilemma over testing the ordnance. I was hoping you were going to refuse to have any part in it. I think you should. Your Mullah. My object all sublime... |
