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Tags: North London (N)
"When you approach me in public, you are Schrödinger's Rapist. You may or may not be a man who would commit rape."
-from Starling, guest blogger at Shapely Prose
( http://kateharding.net/2009/10/08/guest-blogger-... )
I like the idea of this, and find it to ring true. However, I also find in my day to day life, I am alert, and wary, but not scared- I am confident, perhaps overmuch, that I would be able to handle it if things went pear shaped.
Also, I think that the fact that men are seen as Schrödinger's Rapist leads to situations sometimes like in this xkcd- http://www.xkcd.com/642/
God knows I don't often wait for the guy to get in touch- I know I have to make the first move 80% of the time.
Thoughts?
Edited Mon 26 Oct 09, 10:14 AM by Purrverse
| 26 Oct 09, 3:19 AM Liefsome UK(S), 3 yrs   |
Guys seem to come in three varieties... Outgoing, confident and entirely too creepy; All too willing to come and say hello. Nice, what I'm looking for types, who are entirely too scared to come say hello. Middle of the road types who are nice, confident, and will approach me. The first two are very prevalent. I think there's a tendency to villify men before they get close. I certainly don't trust men out on the street and I know they have to try very hard or be very lucky in order to impress me. I feel a little sorry for them, but sometimes I wish they'd just man up and deal with it. Yeah, we're gonna be dis-trusting, but then that just means they need to think it through and be a little sweeter, kinder, and more trustworthy; make an effort and all that! ~Lilith~ | |
| 26 Oct 09, 3:32 AM Doghouse_Reilly UK(MK), 6 yrs  |
Bollocks to all that talking to people rubbish. These days it's all done with internets. All that is required for the triumph of evil is for Chuck Norris to change sides. | |
| 26 Oct 09, 4:16 AM Liefsome UK(S), 3 yrs |
Also, the link is broke. It has an ) on the end of it: http://kateharding.net/2009/10/08/guest-blogger-... (fixed version) ~Lilith~ | |
| 26 Oct 09, 8:08 AM Ian_2007 UK(N), 4 yrs |
Well, according to the multiple universe interpretation of the measurement problem, there is a large number of universes in which he is a rapist, and a large number in which he isn't. Not sure whether that's good or bad news  I have to say I'm very ambivalent about this whole topic. At university I knew a girl who gave every appearance of being genuinely afraid of approaches, and would even jump if, for example, you without thinking went to help her with a stuck jacket sleeve. About ten years after that, I met a spoilt brat who had discovered that a very effective way of getting sympathy from her friends and family was to pick someone and accuse them of "hounding" her. Naturally, my sympathy goes out to the first and not to the second, but in real life it can be very hard to tell the difference. I just hope I'm never called to serve on a jury in a rape trial..... | |
| 26 Oct 09, 9:06 AM jules9 UK(CH), 2 yrs    |
I thought it was a brilliant blog, offering a lot of sound advice, although some seriously questionable stats. Thanks for sharing. XxX | |
| 26 Oct 09, 10:05 AM Chariots_Rise 3 yrs |
To treat all men as being potentially dangerous is not only insulting and offensive, it also panders to un-necessary fear which builds barriers and skews perspective. Women would be highly indignant if men viewed all women as malicious, vengeful, psychotic harridans out to steal their money and homes after chopping all their clothing into lots of tiny shreds. *Some* men are dangerous, *some* women are a lot less than pleasant: c'est la vie. The blog says that for women, "preventing violent assault or murder" is part of the "daily routine". That may indeed be true for the author, but it can't be true for *all* women because it certainly isn't true for me. If she is spending her entire life scared of the other half of the population i feel really sorry for her. I don't want fear to limit how i live my life, nor how i engage and interact with other humans. It's really easy for fear to take control, but only if you let it. Yes, i have suffered at the hands of some men in the past; i have also been grievously wounded by some women. Do i assume that all men and women are the same? Am i going to spend the rest of my life locked in fear because of it? Hell no.
The South-Dorset munch is here Edited 26 Oct 09, 10:06 AM by Chariots_Rise | |
| 26 Oct 09, 10:13 AM Purrverse US, 6 yrs |
Thanks for the link fix! I agree, chariots_rise. I mean, the thing is, while with the cat it's 50/50, with the rapist they quote in the posts as being more like 1/60. So, he is much more likely to not be a man who would rape than to be one who would. My personal blog about it is here- http://purrversatility.blogspot.com/ "I can't tell if you're playing some kind of feminazi mind fuck game on me or if you're trying to seduce me." -Sex and Death 101 | |
| 26 Oct 09, 10:20 AM Aumentou UK(S), 2 yrs |
The meet-and-contact logic in the article - the evaluation of threats and so forth - is good. It doesn't logically follow that you should be scared all the time though. In fact, better if you're not, because fear clouds your judgement. Alert and wary is the way to go.
The closet's cosy and all, but outside there's room to move. | |
| 26 Oct 09, 10:20 AM Backdooruk UK(BA), 12 yrs |
Frankly any woman who thought like the advice in that log I'm not going to be interested in anyway. I prefer some sort of basic self confidence and freedom from paranoia. Besides, doesn't the blogger realise that it's rapists who are likely to do things to put a woman at her ease, it's the average joe who is more likely not to think about what the woman might be spooked by. Numbers wise, men are far more likely to be the victim of serious violent crime than women, though admittedly not in the situation where someone was pretending to be nice. - Chris Submission is giving someone the ability to destroy You, but trusting them enough not to. | |
| 26 Oct 09, 12:35 PM dementia_von_gurth UK(DA), 4 yrs |
statistics are not to be trusted according to statistics, most rape victims already know the assailant, the most common being a husband or partner, which makes her argument and statistics about how many women are raped irrelevant because women will likely be meeting a stranger for a date ... so statistically it's safer for a woman to go on a date with a stranger than it is with her husband !!
all for one and fuck the rest |
