Delusions of Grammar (26)

Well, I tend to get pedantic about grammar when what I see is illogical. OK, some of the rules are arbitrary, but for the most part there is a logical rationale and it seems to me that a lot of folks say that it was all the fault of their teachers, but actually to my mind they just don't f***ing well think.

By way of example, one that makes me despair about people:

It is: "You're looking good today" because the apostrophe just shortens it from "You are looking good today".

It is: "Is that your car, sir" because the officer is asking if the car belongs to you.

"Your looking good today" is just STUPID with capital letters and knobs on because how the f*** could "looking good today" be something that belongs to you.

It is just simple logic, but about 90% of folks out there seem to be incapable of such logic.

Write a sentence, then read it back to yourself OUT LOUD. Everywhere you pause for breath, or just pause for effect, put a comma. If it is a long pause, put a full stop.

If a word has ownership, us an apostrophe s - 's. "The cat's collar." The collar belongs to the cat, so the cat has ownership, and use 's.

If there isn't ownership, but many of them, use just the s. 'The cats were fighting.' The cats don't own the fight, rather many (more than 1) cats were fighting.

If two words have been body slammed into each other, forming one word, then use an apostrophe. Such as:

Do not = don't It is = it's Can not = Can't

One frequently made mistake and a perceived exception to the rule. "its" is a possessive word without an apostrophe. e.g. "The cat has its collar." If you wrote it with an apostrophe, as in "The cat has it's collar", you would really be saying "the cat has it is collar".

Thus ends today's lesson.

If you want to know more (you are always welcome to ask) I would advise getting your hands on "The Elements of Style" by William Strunk Jr. and EB White. It is the smallest book in my library, but the most powerful and most read.

Pen

You say Ouch like it's a bad word.
"That's screaming. A good many dramatic situations begin with screaming." Barbarella

No, I was tormenting a priest. The rumours about the art teacher and me were completely false.

I'd like to know what the rules are, before I break them.

Thank you, that was very helpful.

My pleasure. It is an over simplification of course, but a good place to start and you won't go far wrong.

You say Ouch like it's a bad word.
"That's screaming. A good many dramatic situations begin with screaming." Barbarella