This post is on the D/s & M/s web board.
| 20 Oct 09, 6:38 PM Scorchio 7 yrs |
It's the one thing in my life that haunts me badly. The fact that I can't tell my 'nilla friends and family that I desire to be under the control of a woman. Isn't that madness? I think it is, but there it is. I think one or two friends suspect, however. In the past I've been badly marked on my back, they've seen it and I've made excuses etc. Pisses me off... I WANT TO BE FREE!!!! | ||
| 20 Oct 09, 7:15 PM great_writhes 3 yrs  |
I was outed some time ago by an innocent mistake that I'd made online that eventually resulted with my workmates taking the piss out of me. They spread my BDSM interests around the workplace like confetti. My only logical solution was to confront the irritating tosspots and take the piss back. I found it quite uncomfortable but I gave as good as I got. Things are OK now but I've never been the same with them since. I'm waiting like a leopard for a couple of them to slip up one day.
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| 20 Oct 09, 7:24 PM red_bows UK(M), 6 yrs  |
yes and no. My mum once found a book of mine... so she has her suspicions. Though seeing as this was when i was 17 i think she thought/hoped it was just a faze. A couple of my other friend's have their suspicions, but i'm not really going to confirm them. And a load of (ex-)work colleagues decided i was into "dungeoneering" - but they got it the wrong way round. In fact, if people joke about it and me they do tend to get it the wrong way round. The only 2 guys i've ever told, well, one became my first Dom (and boyf) and the other i ended up playing with for a few years. But i've never told anyone else. Sometimes i wish i could. And then a lot of the time, you know what, i like it as my secret! Got to keep up the innocent persona! :P | ||
| 20 Oct 09, 7:41 PM a_gloomy_kitty UK(SS), 3 yrs |
its not a secret i like dressing up and going to fetish clubs...the rest is less well known... till my boss made a joke about me selling my whips to make some cash...and me not paying attention answering...but why would i want to sell them, i like my whips... | ||
| 20 Oct 09, 7:47 PM River_Deep UK, 6 yrs |
The people that I socialise with know about me. I threw a party a couple of weekends ago and ended up with a 6ft whip and a few box of needles out for them to have a look at. RD xx It is not what you say or do but the way you say or do it | ||
| 20 Oct 09, 7:47 PM alandra UK(BH), 6 yrs |
All my friends know, some are more interested than others and want to know more, some just accept it. one even said, 'I knew there was something different about you, even when we were at school...it all makes sense now'. So yes, all know and all happy with it to those that understand, no explaination is needed, to those that dont understand, no explaination is possible | ||
| 21 Oct 09, 12:50 AM TheWench UK(M), 2 yrs |
I think most of the people I care about know (because I hate keeping secrets from em) and they're largely indifferent, one or two maybe faintly amused. Started uni this september though and thus am faced with new people who i'm less itchy to tell. Though as if paper thin walls in accommodation weren't bad enough a very sweet, very sensible and honestly I'd be stunned if not very very 'nilla flat mate came in to borrow a dvd. All the time he was in my room he was staring at a point on the floor behind me. Took me quite a while to realise i'd left a bit on the floor and rope hanging out of a drawer. I am now the tidiest student there ever was. But even that hasn't really lead to anything being said. Or not when I was paying attention. Also helloooo. I am new :$ and possibly nervous. | ||
| 21 Oct 09, 8:00 AM wonderer UK, 5 yrs |
I think if you move in multiple circles (work, hobbies, sports, cultural activities etc) you're bound to have friends who aren't close enough for you to want to share your most personal / depraved thoughts and feelings. I don't think this is denial or leading a double life; it's simply an accepted social convention that one moderates the level of disclosure and openness about personal matters, and most people know when not to pry. I was involved in a discussion with church friends and colleagues about how to make our church more inclusive and welcoming to a greater diversity of people; we were thinking particularly of the gay community, disabled people, a wider range of ethnicities and some of the homeless people (or those working their way up from homelessness) who come our way etc. During a bit of banter someone mentioned whips (in a compelety innocuous context) and I looked up interestedly and caught the eye of someone else who did the same. It was obvious to each of us that there was some kind of recognition, but what her interest or involvement may be is none of my business, and vice versa. It would be inappropriate to probe. Ubi caritas et amor, Deus ibi est. http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/226772/ Edited 21 Oct 09, 8:01 AM by wonderer | ||
| 21 Oct 09, 8:12 PM MissyG UK(MK), 8 yrs  |
no, my friends know, my family knows, my work collegues know & all the head bosses know, never felt I had to ever hide it, I am who I am n all that
-:|:- London Munch -:|:- LondonAlternativeMarket -:|:- | ||
| 21 Oct 09, 8:23 PM Hiswhore 2 yrs |
i have never felt the need to tell them about it. i have no real interest in what they do in bed and don't see why they would be interested in what i do. i spoke up for Moseley; am outspoken in my contempt for the illegality of BDSM images and reject/challenge censorious views of BDSM if they are expressed, so perhaps they "suspect" -- and if it came up in conversation, i certainly wouldn't hide it -- but it is not something that anyone needs to know about me. Hiswhore. |
