This post is on the D/s & M/s web board.
| 14 Oct 09, 11:20 AM Gonefishin UK(DT), 6 yrs  |
Like Simpsons on cable its a post of two halves... A/Its just a really realy small thing- but its bugging me to an unbelievable extent and I just have to say it despite how Gobs*ite like it makes me look.....And yes I know that it wasnt meant in the manner that I read it... Suggests.... its not a duty of care (lifts cattle cajoling device with HSE ONLY on the side)... but just the normal responsibility that we all have to each other- be that defined or just as humane specimens of the genus. B/ For me its all in the words....Power exchange....and not Coup d'etat. (fun but ultimately unsuccesful) That said - naughty subs do deserve a firm hand and its all in the delivery.... | ||
| 14 Oct 09, 11:28 AM Gonefishin UK(DT), 6 yrs |
Bout the same time as biggus dickus- they always hang around together one fanning and the other eating grapes one by one. Mawha mawha... edited for bad Latin Edited 14 Oct 09, 11:29 AM by Gonefishin | ||
| 14 Oct 09, 12:19 PM bbound UK(CF), 9 yrs  |
Why chastity not an option? If you are in control (the OP that is), weld him into a chastity belt and bollox to him! From my (sub) perspective, I love wearing my chastity device; it is a constant reminder of the control I have passed to my wife. Being frustrated sexually makes me strive more to work and to please her. | ||
| 14 Oct 09, 12:32 PM cinder UK(CR), 7 yrs |
ummm if this bloke hates wearing condoms so much are you sure he is STD free? Just a thought N x | ||
| 14 Oct 09, 12:50 PM lis0rp UK(YO), 3 yrs |
I guess some of these approaches might work if you treat your slave as a mere interchangeable unit of obedience. As regards to the twoo slaves who've posted in this thread: what works for you may not work for others. I certainly know that a lack of physical intimacy for my self leads to either desexualisation, and I start pursuing more intellectual pursuits, to the detriment of any social interaction, or to depression, apathy, lack of self worth, and eventually self destructive bridge burning behaviour intended to drive away all and sundry to enable a swift exit with no strings. Thankfully, though, my Mistress understand that I'm human, that I have quirks, and cherishes me enough to prevent that from happening in a manner that still means she retains control. | ||
| 14 Oct 09, 2:06 PM The_Counsellor UK(WA), 5 yrs |
Put these two together and you have the way forward. Relationships don't last if both parties are not getting something good from it. Sexual desire is a big motivator for most people. It can be as motivating when partly denied and transformed into something else, as when fully fulfilled. That's what a lot of the D/s BDSM dynamic is about. The Counsellor Kink Friendly Counselling and Therapy Let me help you to be the best you that you can be | ||
| 14 Oct 09, 2:21 PM Mistress_Susannah UK(SE), 7 yrs £ |
I'm glad you've posted this. The "lock it up and throw away the key" approach is all well and good.... but, in my experience, it's not neccesarily the best way forward. A depressed and irritable slave is not so good for the Mistress either.... and, in my experience, long bouts of chastity can cause that to happen. Having a slave in complete chastity is not always the best thing for a slave, in terms of their overall wellbeing. Sure, a Mistress can be selfish and make him just deal with it.... but why would she do that, when the "problem" of a horny slave presents her with so many tools for control - thus making both her and the slave happy! Of course, this wouldn't work with a lower sexed slave. Just like submissives sometimes see us women as fantasy figures, I think we're often guilty of doing the same thing. A slave is not a generic thing.... I suppose they can be if you want them to be.... but, in my experience, it's far more fulfilling to establish their particular desires and quirks and then enjoy controlling them.
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| 14 Oct 09, 2:26 PM wonderer UK, 5 yrs |
I agree with Mistress Susannah on this. (ETA - I was referring to her earlier post; cross posted with another wise post of hers). His sexual desire can be used to your advantage, even if he has sexual "needs". His needs (or appetites) can be brought under your control without complete denial. Perhaps make him ask politely before being allowed to touch himself sexually, or make him beg. Even when not together and he fancies a bout of self service. And maybe make him wait a bit, and make him thank you afterwards for allowing him. Let him know he should be grateful to be allowed to approach you wearing a condom. Tie and tease, ruined orgasms, endless frustration at your hands, sometimes complete denial - you can have all sorts of fun! And rewards when he has been a good boy so you can use his desire to train him.
It's getting me all excited just to think about it (Perhaps I'm thinking what might work for me rather than him though.) Have fun. Ubi caritas et amor, Deus ibi est. http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/226772/ Edited 14 Oct 09, 2:28 PM by wonderer | ||
| 14 Oct 09, 2:59 PM fussyone 9 yrs |
Humm yeah I agree its a good talking point anyway
I've done both domme and sub stuff and I have noticed this. A person who is not involved and committed with another person, I don't know. I suppose the dom is then offering a service rather than all round domination. Which of course suits some of us. It also maps onto the argument of who makes most effort, if the dom is running about being creative and coming up with stuff to arguably impress the sub. Humm, who cares I suppose. I have now given myself a headache about it and we all know its just a distraction from my revision - better get on with that then | ||
| 14 Oct 09, 4:24 PM HarmCandy UK, 4 yrs |
Hoho! If I was in the sub's position and she drew this argument on me I'd gladly confer my position of submissive to the empty aether instead. H
'It is the centaur! Chiron, halt! And let me speak with you. You taught and formed, with wisdom, strength and grace, the greatest heroes of a hero-race. In their noblest footsteps you have trod, and lived the hard life of a demigod.' Edited 14 Oct 09, 5:36 PM by HarmCandy |
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