Comments re He that pays the piper calls the tune (22)

All that is required for the triumph of evil is for Chuck Norris to change sides.

Doghouse_Reilly wrote: While I agree with the notion that the PD has a greater measure of control over what takes place in a session than it might seem I think the client has the most critical level of control because he picks the domme. Assuming some degree of communication beforehand he'll know that even if he doesn't get to tell the domme what to do he'll be getting what he wants anyway. Logical innit.

Ahhh yes, but we Dommes do get to decide if we will see any sub who applies to us. They may pick us out from the big treasure store that is the internet but I certainly know that myself and many of the other good Dommes on here are choosy about who we see.

There is always negotiation in the bdsm world, whether it be for casual lifestyle or professional encounters. Negotiation again works both ways so the Domme will have to get what she wants from the encounter and the sub will know hard limits have been flagged up, and areas of particular interest discussed.

I never feel I am a paid piper when I Domme professionally. I see it that I am dominating a sub within agreed limits and boundaries, simple as that really.

24/7 subs and slaves can and do live similar lives, it is only the concept of 'ownership' which separates them.

Ms_Valentine wrote: Doghouse_Reilly wrote: While I agree with the notion that the PD has a greater measure of control over what takes place in a session than it might seem I think the client has the most critical level of control because he picks the domme. Assuming some degree of communication beforehand he'll know that even if he doesn't get to tell the domme what to do he'll be getting what he wants anyway. Logical innit. Ahhh yes, but we Dommes do get to decide if we will see any sub who applies to us. They may pick us out from the big treasure store that is the internet but I certainly know that myself and many of the other good Dommes on here are choosy about who we see. There is always negotiation in the bdsm world, whether it be for casual lifestyle or professional encounters. Negotiation again works both ways so the Domme will have to get what she wants from the encounter and the sub will know hard limits have been flagged up, and areas of particular interest discussed. I never feel I am a paid piper when I Domme professionally. I see it that I am dominating a sub within agreed limits and boundaries, simple as that really.

I was just about to reply along these lines but, as usual, Ms Valentine says it far better than I would have

Ms_Valentine wrote: Doghouse_Reilly wrote: While I agree with the notion that the PD has a greater measure of control over what takes place in a session than it might seem I think the client has the most critical level of control because he picks the domme. Assuming some degree of communication beforehand he'll know that even if he doesn't get to tell the domme what to do he'll be getting what he wants anyway. Logical innit. Ahhh yes, but we Dommes do get to decide if we will see any sub who applies to us. They may pick us out from the big treasure store that is the internet but I certainly know that myself and many of the other good Dommes on here are choosy about who we see. There is always negotiation in the bdsm world, whether it be for casual lifestyle or professional encounters. Negotiation again works both ways so the Domme will have to get what she wants from the encounter and the sub will know hard limits have been flagged up, and areas of particular interest discussed. I never feel I am a paid piper when I Domme professionally. I see it that I am dominating a sub within agreed limits and boundaries, simple as that really.

Yeah but you wouldn't reject a sub who was basically wanting you to do something that you wanted to do. Unless there was something other reason for it. You might get to play you own tune (to extend the piper metaphor a bit) but the client wouldn't pick you if it wasn't the tune he wanted to hear.

All that is required for the triumph of evil is for Chuck Norris to change sides.

You think?

Doghouse_Reilly wrote: Ms_Valentine wrote: Doghouse_Reilly wrote: While I agree with the notion that the PD has a greater measure of control over what takes place in a session than it might seem I think the client has the most critical level of control because he picks the domme. Assuming some degree of communication beforehand he'll know that even if he doesn't get to tell the domme what to do he'll be getting what he wants anyway. Logical innit. Ahhh yes, but we Dommes do get to decide if we will see any sub who applies to us. They may pick us out from the big treasure store that is the internet but I certainly know that myself and many of the other good Dommes on here are choosy about who we see. There is always negotiation in the bdsm world, whether it be for casual lifestyle or professional encounters. Negotiation again works both ways so the Domme will have to get what she wants from the encounter and the sub will know hard limits have been flagged up, and areas of particular interest discussed. I never feel I am a paid piper when I Domme professionally. I see it that I am dominating a sub within agreed limits and boundaries, simple as that really. Yeah but you wouldn't reject a sub who was basically wanting you to do something that you wanted to do. Unless there was something other reason for it. You might get to play you own tune (to extend the piper metaphor a bit) but the client wouldn't pick you if it wasn't the tune he wanted to hear.

So you agree that we play our own tune?

So does that make us more like buskers....?

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Hard Limit

She doesn't do what I want. She does what she wants, and what's best for me.

Try. Just a little bit harder.

One of the original articles made the distinction between clients looking for fetish/kink activities and those looking for a Ds experience. It also said that most of the ladies here offered a more Ds service. So I thought I might offer some comments as someone seeking the former, the more fetish / kink play scene.

I was struggling to find the words to make the points I wanted to make, then released all I needed to do was describe my current situation.

I am lucky enough to session with a very new but potentially very good PD. Initially I pretty much controlled what happened. This avoided that difficult first session scenario, and the PD was able to learn what she liked doing that I liked too, what my limits were, and what areas she wanted to explore. She did seem to want to practice her flogging a lot As she has become more confidant, and has learned how I tick, she now runs the sesssion herself. She still does the things I like, but with her own twist, and the added buzz of not quite knowing what she will want to do next. I give a lot of post session feedback and she asks questions, initially to give me what I wanted, but now to make me feel how she wants me to feel.

This progression means our sessions are mutually enjoyable, and are starting to have much more of a dominant / psychological feel whilst still having the physical activities I enjoy.

As an aside ... I decided I wanted to explore my submission further, and was interested in exploring something I didn't like. The PD enjoys having a sissy maid. This does absolutely nothing for me, but I have enjoyed the submission of providing this service for her. We do this in one of our homes, in a non-professional (ie. free) setting, so she must enjoy it.

Hmmm, this hasn't quite worked, but hopefully it is vaguely informative. If anyone is interested in what makes a fetish / kink player tick, I will quite happily take the time and put a proper article together.

If love is blind, how come lingerie is so popular ?

I have an accordion, and I know how to play it ....

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