Crips_Corner's profile . Crips_Corner group posts
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| Der_Morgenstern |
I started this group due to this thread on the web boards http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/251773/
I think there is a need for a group that addresses the issues surrounding BDSM and disability. Feel free to subscribe and/or join the network to take part.
| 12 Oct 09, 10:13 PM Degenerate  UK(M), 5 yrs   |
Nice idea for a group, I'm in. De
Sign up to CAAN's statement www.caan.org.uk | |
| 16 Oct 09, 12:05 AM Der_Morgenstern UK(LA), 7 yrs |
So what are the issues surrounding BDSM and disability? Is there really a perception that crips aren't fit to take part amongst the wider able bodied community? Is it a matter of attitude? Do we have to work harder to project ourselves past our disabilities? New Labour: Proof positive that 345 villages are missing their idiots. | |
| 16 Oct 09, 7:26 PM Der_Morgenstern UK(LA), 7 yrs |
I do understand what you're saying, many people that I knew prior to my accident seem to have slowly disappeared, but, I have found that I'm getting to meet new people as I get involved in other interests. I think that I'm lucky, I knew a lot of people involved in BDSM prior to my accident, so I haven't had to, 'break into the scene', as it were, I was already there, but I can see how it could be difficult if you haven't already been involved. I think in your particular case, the best bet would be to get along to a munch and make it your local, try to get along every month, make friends, start a real life network. That will allow people to see you not as the person in the wheelchair, instead they will see you as one of the regulars as such and such munch. Other people will see someone positive in their posts and involved in their local events. All this will also give you an opening to approach prospective partners, inviting them to meet you at a munch where they should feel safe and where they can see you as part of a group, it's all good stuff and part of letting people see you first and the chair as an afterthought. New Labour: Proof positive that 345 villages are missing their idiots. | |
| 17 Oct 09, 5:18 PM Der_Morgenstern UK(LA), 7 yrs |
[/quote] That is a good start then. New Labour: Proof positive that 345 villages are missing their idiots. | |
| 18 Oct 09, 1:12 AM Der_Morgenstern UK(LA), 7 yrs |
The only other thing I can say is that you shouldn't be too hard on event or munch organisers on the issue of access. Most of them do the best they can, but they are restricted to the venues that will accomodate them. Though, I know, to be honest we should be able to gain access to any venue...
New Labour: Proof positive that 345 villages are missing their idiots. | |
| 3 Nov 09, 6:02 PM Purvection UK(M), 8 yrs     |
Only just discovered this group - yay! My big mobility issue is not being allowed to hold a driving licence because of my epilepsy. I rarely attend events now - most of my local clubs are mainly accessible only by car and I hate blagging lifts. My DLA all gets spent on cabs as it is. The cost of getting home at 2 or 3am from the other side of Greater Manchester rules out much partying. Otherwise, I don't let the E hold me back. I don't hide it - it's on my profile and I've generally found people have not treated me any different, probably because I don't treat me any different. When it comes to playing, again I've not generally had a problem. Usually whoever I'm negotiating with just wants to know what to do in case I have a fit. It's only once been an issue - recently talking to a local top (shockingly someone who DMs at some of the clubs in my area) who ignored several requests by me to swap checklists and as the date to play loomed with three days to spare asked what time he was collecting me - I pulled out as this person was apparently expecting negotiation for play to consist of a quick chat before commencing activity - totally unacceptable when I have a disability and need to be sure any play partner knows my limits, what's risky for me or not, first aid etc... I felt I'd be putting myself in an unsafe situation, hence cancelling. No regrets. Aut disce aut discede. Manet sors tertia caedi | |
| 3 Nov 09, 6:46 PM Purvection UK(M), 8 yrs |
This is a huge issue. When I ran the Chester Munch, it was hard enough finding a venue that a) had a free function room, b) a pub landlord who didn't object to pervs and c) was accessible both by public transport and had car parking. Disabled access, while very much at the forefront of my wanted list, was just not going to happen alongside all the other requirements. Chester being a city chock-full of really old buildings, many of them listed, means that putting in suitable access simply isn't possible a lot of the time. I had a similar issue in Manchester a few weeks ago when looking for a wheelchair-accessible venue for my birthday drinks. None of my regular drinking haunts have disabled access because they're all in really old buildings so I had to rule those out. And it took a lengthy hunt to find somewhere that accommodate my needs so certain friends could attend. It's incredibly difficult in many towns to find a suitable pub venue for a munch that also offers disabled access. Clubs are even worse - they are simply not designed for the needs of disabled people, whether in a chair or not. I do think more event organisers are slowly becoming aware of disabled needs, but we need to take responsibility too by speaking up - they won't know what we need if we don't tell them. And if we have to remember that organisers are limited by the venues available.
Aut disce aut discede. Manet sors tertia caedi |
