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| AlexCobra |
on Mon 21 Sep 09, 5:55 PM to AlexCobra's blog.
What is it with alcohol, tobacco and bullwhips? They just somehow go together although they really, really shouldn't. It's silly. It's irresponsible. Never mind, carry on.
This Memorable Moment occurred in late June 06 while on Viking campaign in Iceland. As usual, we're all in Fjörukráin - the Viking inn at Hafnarfjörður, to the south west of the island and well worth a visit if you're over there - all kitted up in warrior style including weapons (they'd tried to ban swords from the pub but found we'd rather sit round the fire outside with off-licence bottles than go unarmed like a bunch of serfs) enjoying half-price/semi-ripoff lager as befits a band of mercenaries. Anyway, 4am comes round and we're ushered from the premises into the light of early morning.
This wee guy - total stranger - sees my whip, a habitual accompaniment to sword, knife, etc., dodders up and gives it the old "go on, chop the ciggie in half" noise. I tell him, quite truthfully, that I've not done it before and he says - I quote - "I trust you" like the plant-life had any reason to do so. So I say something along the lines of "OK, it's your nose" and square up. One practice crack and one for the ciggie which, heavens to Betsy, I cut cleanly just behind the tip. Huzza!
Next thing, this big geezer blusters up with another cig (I didn't know at the time but my mate Dean had put him up to this), drops his kex and, bending over in the time-honoured position, sticks the unlit end between his cheeks. By now there is a general air of mirth. I did my best but whips, you know, remember things and if you're not careful have their own ideas. Practice crack then one for the cig. Bugger, missed (the cig anyway - hit his arse). The beer he's taken on board must have acted as a bit of a time delay cos I have another go and - further bugger - missed/hit again just as the effect of the first one sinks in and up he jumps with a yell, yanking up his shreddies & jeans, totally forgetting the cig which is now nestled, glowing, in his gusset. With merry dancing did he entertain the gathered throng, eventually freeing the cig and calling me every bastard under the sun.
What amazed me was that he came back for another go 5 minutes later and this time - even through the giggles - I managed to get the cig and miss the arse first shot.
Edited Fri 23 Oct 09, 10:13 AM by AlexCobra
| 21 Sep 09, 5:59 PM Souci_X UK(BA), 5 yrs |
Still giggle inducing!  Edited 21 Sep 09, 6:02 PM by Souci_X | |
| 21 Sep 09, 6:05 PM NaughtyJim UK(W), 5 yrs |
There's something 'special' about viking re-enactors...  | |
| 21 Sep 09, 6:06 PM missPowers UK(SE), 4 yrs |
thanks for posting this - almost as funny as hearing it first hand... roasted nuts anyone? missP(ainter of masterpieces) | |
| 21 Sep 09, 6:16 PM AlexCobra UK(WC), 6 yrs |
Which is why we wear helmets. They contain little speakers emitting whale song. Yours twooly, | |
| 21 Sep 09, 11:14 PM Volcanic_Sparks UK(SS), 6 yrs |
no thanks I prefer crushing nuts to roasting them .
I'm not cruel........ My kindness is just VERY misunderstood !!! | |
| 22 Sep 09, 12:43 AM AlexCobra UK(WC), 6 yrs |
Bounce them off ya chin boingy boingy boing. X Yours twooly, |
